In psychology, as in life, there are very few things that can be said with one hundred percent certainty. Social norms and upbringing dictate their conditions; from childhood we get used to the fact that we must take care of others and relatives, help the weak, resist dictators and tyrants. We are constantly told that the highest achievement of a person is a feat accomplished for the benefit of the whole world. Many children's books tell stories of heroes who were not afraid to give their lives to save other people. Social norms say that we should feel guilty for any manifestation of selfishness, regardless of whether it is neurotic or healthy. But how often do we think about who an egoist is and when a person becomes an egoist?
Who is an egoist?
The word "egoism" comes from the Latin word "ego", which means "I". Most often, this concept is interpreted as behavior that is determined only by the thought of one’s own benefit and the desire to use others, regardless of their preferences, interests or desires.
Egoism is usually divided into rational and irrational. In the first option, a person evaluates the possible consequences of his actions and decisions and takes this into account when making a decision. In the second case, the actions of a selfish, short-sighted and impulsive person are governed solely by his own desires, goals and interests.
Are there types of egoism?
Psychologists say that there are two types of egoism - passive and active.
An active egoist, often well versed in the world, knows very well how to please people, and can conduct lengthy small talk. However, when talking with him, in 10 minutes you will understand that all the words of this person are aimed only at achieving his goal. To do this, he is ready to make almost any sacrifice, for example, to show hypocrisy, bribe and even sacrifice his own reputation.
A passive egoist chooses a completely different line of behavior. Such people do nothing for others. It is easier for them to achieve their goals by acting arrogantly and rudely, “going over their heads.” Often people around him quickly realize the true nature of such a person, as a result of which they begin to avoid him. Therefore, a passive egoist in most cases simply becomes lonely, without friends and relatives who can be relied on in any situation.
Healthy or reasonable egoism - is this possible?
Certainly. Rational egoism is nothing more than the call of our soul. The main problem is that we often drown out this voice. And then it is replaced by narcissism, which tries to pass itself off as healthy egoism, and it is very difficult to get rid of it. That is, pathology appears when we suppress our natural need to take care of ourselves for a long time.
What is the difference between selfishness and self-love?
Selfishness is more of a sensation or sentiment than a physiological state. It depends entirely on how we perceive ourselves, the benefits we bring to society, and our desire to help ourselves or those around us.
We can say that selfish people are painfully proud. This is due to the fact that they constantly try to assert themselves and do not tolerate if someone tries to challenge their superiority.
Self-love manifests itself differently. In this case, we do not go over our heads, but remember our interests and do not allow our feet to be wiped all over us. That is, this is a rational and healthy approach to communication, when people try to respect each other while defending their interests.
How to understand how selfish we ourselves are?
People often do not notice selfishness in themselves because they do not listen to what others tell them. Why do this if they already feel great?
Egoists are people who rarely notice that they bring many problems to other people. But then how can they understand that they are selfish? The answer is simple: you just need to listen and watch. Then the egoist will notice that he has been asked for some kind of service or favor for several months. And if a large number of people have accumulated around you who are dissatisfied with your behavior, this is a reason to think about it.
You are selfish. Is it good or bad?
Selfishness is a product of the natural instinct of self-preservation.
If you look at the situation from the point of view of rationalism, you will understand: loving yourself is normal, it is necessary to preserve human life.
Also, selfish people are those who value other people's lives less than their own. Only the insane or the dead can be called completely selfless. After all, for each of us the value of our own existence is very great, and this is completely normal.
That is, in some cases, you may not feel guilty about trying to achieve your goal. Of course, you always need to know when to stop. Be self-sufficient and don't let your self-worth depend on what other people think of you. The main thing is not to go too far.
What to do if you need to communicate with an egoist?
Naturally, communicating with egoists is usually very difficult, because they are self-absorbed and do not pay attention to others. Narcissistic people need listeners, not people who will talk. Moreover, it is desirable that the listener be fascinated and fully support the selfish person in his plans and aspirations.
You have two ways to build a relationship with such a person. The first is to immediately criticize his views, reminding him of previous failures and shortcomings. In this state of affairs, you will have a chance to get rid of communication with an egoist for a long time, if not forever.
However, if you do not want to ruin the relationship, then you should choose the second strategy, namely, start praising the person and flattering him. Convince your interlocutor that he is the one and only, and interrupt the conversation only under the pretext of urgent matters. Then the selfish person will treat you as an intelligent and pleasant companion.
What to do if you fall in love with an egoist?
If you can, run away from him as quickly as possible. For what? Because otherwise you will only get a lot of pain from this relationship. You will have to completely dissolve in your partner and lose yourself as a person. An egoist is a being who will not tolerate those who have their own opinions, views, ideals, principles and interests, or those who are critical of their partner.
If you firmly believe that your choices are truly exceptional, then one day you will realize that you are not living your life. Your entire existence revolves around your partner's desires and interests.
Egoists are people incapable of true self-sacrifice and love. They all consider themselves extremely smart and talented. Consequently, they are always right, and everyone around them is narrow-minded fools who are worthless and know nothing. An egoist will blame others for all misfortunes and attribute selfish impulses to them, and not to himself.
The selfish nature simply will not allow such people to build close relationships that are based on openness and love on both sides. That is why egoists are deprived of the opportunity to find family happiness. Often they themselves suffer from this and cannot understand the reason for their failures in love.
Is it possible to rehabilitate an egoist?
It is possible, but only in rare cases. If a person has become selfish after experiencing severe shock or grief, then there is hope that he will understand: he is also surrounded by living people who have their own feelings, desires, problems and dreams. But it is almost impossible to change an adult if he does not want it himself and is not ready to make efforts and spend time on it. So if your partner, whom you truly love, is afraid of losing you and is willing to change for you, then there will be progress. You will just need to be patient.
Selfishness...This is selfishness, preference for one’s own personal interests over the interests of others, disregard for the interests of society. Undoubtedly, people with this quality bring not only troubles to others, but also grief. Russian literature has given us dozens of literary egoistic heroes. But I consider the heroine of Leo Tolstoy’s novel “War and Peace” Elena Vasilyevna Bezukhova to be the most striking character.
Let's remember the princess. How charming she is! How perfect! It is no coincidence that Pierre is afraid to approach her and only admires this “queen” of St. Petersburg salons from afar. And Prince Andrei admires her victorious beauty! At first, the author talks about Helen’s lack of even a shadow of coquetry... But this is only at the beginning! The beauty of Elena Vasilievna is a mask behind which hides a selfish nature. You can object to me: “Why shouldn’t a beautiful woman love herself, take care of her own benefit, and neglect other people’s interests for her own?” But because Countess Bezukhova, living according to the inexorable law of fulfilling all her desires, sometimes insignificant, brings evil, immorality and vice into life.
Let us remember how she, having “bewitched” Count Bezukhov with her beauty, married him to herself. Selfishness drives her actions: not loving Pierre, she goes down the aisle with him... She does not go for the sake of creating a happy family, having children... No! She wants his fortune. Maybe later the heroine will repent of her actions? And he won't think about it! With a rich husband, she will take a lover. She doesn’t care about Pierre’s suffering, about people’s condemnation of her actions... Selfishness and calmness are the motto of Helen’s life. Let us remember the ugly scene of Pierre’s explanation with his wife after his duel with Dolokhov. How arrogantly and selfishly Bezukhova behaves! She, a harlot, is sincerely outraged that Pierre dared to defend his dignity! Helen doesn't understand the cynicism of what she's talking about! She doesn't care at all about her husband's suffering! Here it is, selfishness, which brings moral torment to other people!
Without any embarrassment, this entertaining person introduces another admirer, Boris Drubetsky, into her husband’s house, as if having fun, brings Natasha and Anatole together. Pierre was right when he shouted at her in rage: “Where you are, there is debauchery and evil!” Do you think the Countess was offended?! No, a mean, triumphant smile appeared on her face, which so outraged her husband. It is at this moment that Pierre pronounces his verdict on the entire selfish Bezukhov family: “Oh, vile, heartless breed!”
It would seem that the heroine can no longer surprise us with anything! But it does it! In those very moments when everyone rose up to fight the French invasion, the countess amazes us with her selfishness. She is far from worried about the fate of the Fatherland! Bezukhova is solving a personal problem at this moment: how to get married while her husband is alive and which of the applicants to give preference to for her hand... Very important questions for the time when the French are near Moscow!
I think the examples I have given prove that selfishness is the first step of meanness, cynicism and betrayal. And that's why he's scary.
The virus in question is the personal “I.” The center of consciousness, the focus of our soul and the engine of life. However, there are people whose self-love is hypertrophied. They are selfish, do not take into account other people's desires, are passionate about themselves and think only about their own personal interests. And, perhaps, the most common egoism is male. Why?
Sissy
Mothers raise their sons in approximately the same way: they are surrounded with love and care, they are protected from everyday life (washing dishes, laundry, cleaning, “cooking”) and life’s troubles, they are not shown their problems, they are given greater freedom of action than girls, lifestyle, etc. Then love and marriage come into the boys’ lives, in which the wife replaces the mother - she also cooks, washes, and cleans. From childhood, boys are encouraged to have those qualities that become fertilizer for unpretentious egoism: self-confidence, aggressiveness, leadership, etc.
Thus, healthy (and not so healthy) selfishness is brought up by loving mothers in each of them. We will talk about those types in which the seed of “ego” abandoned by upbringing has grown and bloomed wildly.
1. Is this disease - selfishness - curable? The answer to this question can be clearly answered: no. It’s good if you haven’t yet managed to jump into the boat with him, which is leaving from the registry office, and nobly sat down at the oars. If you managed to commit this stupidity. Well, get over it. It will no longer be possible to correct such a character, don’t even try, it’s like fighting windmills. Selfishness can be leveled out by trying to coexist peacefully. Master psychological manipulation techniques:
2. Using tricks, replace his desires with your own. For example, “I wanted to give you a romantic dinner, you’ve been sad and tired lately, poor thing. but I can’t think of anything to surprise you with! Could you go to the store and buy groceries for what you really want?” Or like this: “You are so beautiful and well-groomed, so perfect, and I am. Maybe I should go to a salon? Only a beautiful woman should be next to the deity.” It sounds funny, but the principle is clear.
3. Use a maneuver like “You, my precious one, but if you do this and that, then there will be no price for you at all.”
4. God forbid you criticize him or try to re-educate him - the selfish person will not tolerate this! Avoid a showdown and never shed tears - he still won’t notice and won’t admit his guilt. So is it worth the effort?
5. Never compare with anyone and keep quiet about your former romances. Don't give reasons for jealousy.
6. Don't forget to admire your spouse (especially in front of others) and say how lucky you are to have him.
7. And never, under any circumstances, in cohabitation with male egoism, do not lose your “I” and your unique personality. There are values that cannot be parted with even for the sake of a love as great as the world for an egoist. This is inner freedom and prudent self-love.
Source:
Male Ego: You can’t fight to come to terms
Selfishness is a diagnosis. This is a disease whose virus lives only in humans. Active, developed or passive, it is in each of us. Without it, we would not be able to achieve anything: without following our “I”, we would not strive for universities, we would not look after our appearance according to the principle “And I’m fine anyway!”, we would not move up the career ladder, we would not ...wouldn't live.
http://www.terrawoman.ua/man/man_egoizm/comments
Is selfishness dangerous for love?
Are love and selfishness compatible with each other? Of course, but only if this egoism is healthy. A harmonious person, naturally, must value himself, take care of himself, and observe his own interests. This behavior is considered completely normal. But, if your partner constantly sacrifices himself for your sake, then such a relationship cannot be considered normal and healthy. Only the heroes of books and films benefit from this, because in the realities of our time such behavior will not lead to good results.
But what are the criteria for recognizing healthy egoism? It's simple: two people have the ability to listen to each other's claims and successfully find a compromise that suits both.
If there is unhealthy egoism, one of the partners does not consider it necessary, cares about the feelings of his partner, and acts only in his own interests. In this case, the relationship does not represent any value for him, but rather is convenient for him.
True egoists are not a rare phenomenon. Such people do not know how and do not want to show concern for others; even attention to their own person will be regarded as a self-evident obligation. Such egoism acts as the worst enemy of love, its direct opposite. The danger of such selfishness is that people begin to do things for themselves, rather than
for a partner, changing the priorities and behavior of your neighbor. It seems normal to a selfish partner to try to change his loved one, or to prohibit him from doing something. This is a wrong approach that makes relationships disharmonious.
It is possible to fight selfishness, but only if the person himself wants to eradicate it within himself. The beginning of the struggle is the awareness of the existence of a problem. This is the only way to heal. Every day it is important to monitor all kinds of manifestations of selfishness, and to use the help of a loved one for this. Self-control and suppression of manifestations of an egoistic approach - this approach is within the power of everyone.
Source:
Is selfishness dangerous for love?
Are love and selfishness compatible with each other? Of course, but only if
http://ege-essay.ru/opasen-li-egoizm-dlya-lyubvi/
Psychology of the New Age
Articles by Zhanna Kurkova
(Magazine “In the City”, Korolev, questions asked by Ekaterina Baklanova)
Selfishness - good or bad?
“Egoism does not mean living the way you want, it is demanding others to live the way you want.” Oscar Wilde.
“Why are you so selfish?! How could you do this? - the mother exclaims in her hearts, scolding her careless son who ate the last piece of cake. The boy stands with his eyes downcast. He is incredibly ashamed of his actions. When he grows up, no one will call him selfish anymore. He will always remember about others, share with them even his most beloved things. And this piece of cake, eaten in a hurry, now seems so bitter. Or is it from tears? It’s terrible, now my sister won’t get any treats. But the cake was so delicious.
As children, we often hear from our parents: don’t be selfish, why aren’t you like Sasha, Anya from the next house? After all, you need to share your things. Is it correct? Psychologist, specialist in systemic and family therapy Zhanna Kurkova answers the questions.
What is egoism? Is it really that harmful? Is this really a trait that we should be ashamed of and try to eradicate with all our might?
The essence of the word “egoism” is understood differently by different people, depending on the evolution of their lives: the social niche they occupy, their talent, ability for self-realization and personal growth. What for one person is the norm in his behavior, for another seems terrible selfishness. The majority of people believe that selfishness is a person’s concern for his own benefit, benefit, preference for his own interests over the interests of other people. As a rule, this word is used as a synonym for a very bad person.
In my opinion, selfish people are those who do not care about themselves at all. They encourage their momentary weaknesses in any way and follow the lead of the crowd. It is easy to impose any attitude on them. As a rule, they stick like leeches to those who are called selfish and narcissistic.
What is the difference between selfishness and egoism?
For me these are completely different opposite concepts. A person who loves himself, knows how to take care of his health, knows how and loves to improve his living conditions, he cares about his future and the future of his loved ones, he does not burden anyone with his difficulties, he solves them himself. A selfish person will never stoop to deception, cunning, or flattery. He will not get dirty with incorrect thoughts and actions. This is an adult Man who loves himself and the world around him.
Should “healthy egoism” have a place in life?
Certainly! What many call reasonable selfishness, I call inner dignity and self-respect. A person creates with love for the sake of himself and his own development; he finds purpose in finding himself, his destiny. Such a person lives based on his own reason. He does not need authorities; he is guided by the inner movement of his heart. He is independent and free from other people's opinions and worldviews. He does not allow himself to be used, sacrificing for the “good” of other people. And, as a result of his attitude towards himself, he does not allow himself to use other people (love others as yourself). A rational egoist knows that it is necessary to participate in an equal fair exchange, that other types of exchanges bring a lot of disappointment and pain. This is an adult who is moving forward in his development. He develops himself and the space around him. He develops life.
What is worse - selfishness or altruism?
Are egoists always proud?
Egoists, in my understanding, are not at all proud. The egoist destroys himself and his environment. He does not know how to create, create, create. He only knows how to take, process and crap. There are different types of illness, and selfishness is one of them. The egoist lives at the animal level.
What is the best way to communicate with an egoist if, due to some circumstances, you are forced to do this, for example, due to work?
- What to do if you are in love with an egoist?
One way out: become an altruist and devote your life to a good cause - re-educating an egoist :)! (Joke)
Is it possible to re-educate an egoist?
Certainly! Mother Life herself is raising her young children. Just as an animal, which can only be raised using the carrot and stick method, these laws apply to a person. What goes around comes around ! A reasonable, selfish person knows these laws and lives by them. But the egoist has to be taught. And no one else can teach you better than life.
Egoism is a level of human development. It will only take time, life lessons, and perhaps more than one lifetime to change. An egoist always thinks about immediate needs; he does not have the willpower and inner spirit for his own self-restraint and development. But even neither religions nor the state with their moral and legal guidelines are able to change the egoist. Only the person himself, collecting the fruits of his thoughts and activities that come to him in the form of his closest relatives and friends, life conditions and situations, can realize and change his life. Like attracts like. As soon as a person gets tired of attracting various incorrect manifestations to himself with his essence, he immediately begins to re-educate himself.
And egoists, poor students and other students of the “lower grades” gather in groups (since it is very scary to be apart), arm themselves with clubs, bottles and other evil spirits, shout about equality and fair distribution of earthly goods, completely unaware that the Main Accounting Department is located much more above their own narrow, underdeveloped worldview. But this is a completely different topic.
Source:
Psychology of the New Age
Selfishness
http://www.ecosophiya.ru/main/part/5-11-190-401
Why is selfishness terrible?
If you have met men of different zodiac signs on your way, you will certainly feel that some of them were harmless and calm, others were complex, conflict-ridden and aggressive. But probably, . . .
If you have met men of different zodiac signs on your way, you will certainly feel that some of them were harmless and calm, others were complex, conflict-ridden and aggressive.
But perhaps you have also met those from whom you wanted to run away, but had neither the strength nor the opportunity. Who are they and why don’t you want to meet them? Today we will talk about dangerous men, falling in love with whom is not difficult, but being happy with them is a big problem.
It turns out that your Zodiac sign can tell you how dangerous a man can be for a relationship.
And although such types can be found among representatives of all signs of the Zodiac, the dangers that relationships with them pose can be completely different.
Let's try to arrange the signs of the Zodiac in descending order: from the most dangerous to the almost harmless. Let's try to find out what dangers may lurk in relationships with men of each zodiac sign.
SCORPIO MAN
What is its danger? Representatives of this sign are very sensual and seductive types. They know a lot about seduction and can use any methods for this, including very dangerous ones. This zodiac sign is very dangerous for those who want to control a man and not be in a subordinate position. Scorpios are usually strong personalities, they love power and do not tolerate the slightest humiliation.
If a relationship with Scorpio has already begun and lasts for some time, then other dangers come into play. In particular, his desire to completely control you and your feelings.
In the worst case, he will simply use you for his base purposes. He is hardly able to forgive and can greatly fray his nerves with groundless jealousy. Moreover, he is capable of terrible revenge in case of defeat.
What could this lead to? If your relationship is on the verge of failure, he will still hold you until the last. Scorpios really don't like to let go of what belongs to them. Therefore, even if they have completely different relationships on the side, you will still be in his power. The main thing here is not to show your weaknesses and do everything so that he sees in you a strong personality equal to himself.
AQUARIUS MAN
What is its danger? Men of this sign are most often independent and value freedom most of all in life. They only seem friendly and compassionate, but in fact they are the most selfish and indifferent representatives of the Zodiac.
They can show insensitivity and coldness where you need understanding and warmth, and unfortunately, they will not be able to give you anything else, no matter how much you want it.
The danger is that such men are more likely than others to allow themselves to be loved, but are less able to love themselves. And even if their feelings seem strong and deep to them, they can hardly be stronger and deeper than the feelings of a representative of any other sign.
He is unlikely to show sensitivity and care towards you, and if he does, they will seem insufficient to you. Aquarius, by and large, doesn’t care what you think about it, and this is quite dangerous for your happiness next to him.
What could this lead to? If you do not learn to accept him as he is, then over time your feelings will dry up and you will not be able to maintain them within yourself. You just want real warmth and love, not castles in the air.
ARIES MAN
What is its danger? The danger of this man is that he often does something before he thinks. Aries, like no one else, is capable of impulsive actions that they may regret. Usually he is too honest, does not like to lie and play around, and says everything he thinks, but in a fit of anger he can mess things up, ruin relationships and even hit.
Any Aries perceives life as a battlefield, and if he cannot splash out unspent energy, he will easily lash out at those around him. He is dangerous from a purely physical point of view, since he often wants to get what he wants by using physical force: it’s easier for him.
What could this lead to? To unpleasant emotions and tears. You may be very sensitive to his rudeness and ruthlessness. Even if he later apologizes and regrets what he did, your trust in him will evaporate.
PISCES MAN
What is its danger? Pisces men can be quite dangerous for women who are confident and know what they want. If you are one of them, and are attracted to a Pisces man, beware! He can get on your nerves a lot with his uncertainty and mystery, as well as his constant desire to escape from reality using not very healthy methods.
Pisces men are often doubtful and unsure of themselves, even if they give a completely different impression. Their fantasies can be charming, but they are not always harmless.
They are very touchy and literally one wrong word can touch them to the quick. The danger of men with a “fishy” character is that they will not particularly solve problems, especially problems within relationships, if such happen. It is difficult for them to understand themselves and others, which is why no one understands them. Attempts to get to the bottom of this are in vain.
What could this lead to? To big psychological problems or joint attempts to escape reality. Such a man can easily drag you down to the bottom of his doubts, make you confused and move away from the world.
CAPRICORN MAN
What is its danger? Capricorn is dangerous because it can set too high demands on you. Typically, representatives of this sign set demands on everything and everyone, including themselves, and therefore in relationships they often raise the bar and dictate their own terms.
If you do not understand why he is doing this, he can greatly ruin your life; always and in everything you will have to correspond to his ideas and adhere to his opinion.
What could this lead to? To coldness and boredom, if you do not share his desire to plan and do not correspond to his ideas.
GEMINI MAN
What is its danger? Gemini is a rather controversial sign, but usually easy-going and cheerful. They can be quite safe for you if you also have a carefree attitude towards life, but also quite difficult to understand if you are a responsible and practical person.
The Gemini man usually does not particularly like to be responsible and often behaves like a boy. He is not inclined to quickly start a serious relationship, so he often treats new girlfriends with a disregard. This can be very dangerous if you have already fallen in love with him. Often such a man never becomes more serious and torments you with uncertainty, appearing and disappearing from your life.
Where it leads? Usually leads to a break in the relationship if you clearly know what you need. If you are ready to accept him as he is, then your relationship can last much longer.
TAURUS MAN
What is its danger? Taurus, like other earth signs, are quite demanding and practical. But more than other signs, they can be dangerous for those women who are accustomed to getting everything practically for nothing, without making much effort. Don't think that Taurus will give you their last, and also completely share their income. Most likely, he will carefully hint or, in the worst case, demand that you have your own source of income that you are free to spend on yourself.
The danger of Taurus is also greed, which may be unjustified in especially serious cases. Next to him, you can hardly remain satisfied with your life, since you will be limited in your financial capabilities.
Where it leads? Moreover, you will simply hide your true income from him, you will constantly hide something and not allow yourself too much. If you are very frugal and don’t particularly like to spend money on yourself, then you are not afraid of such a man.
LEO MAN
What is its danger? Leos can be quite dangerous when it comes to taking precedence in family or relationships. They are not used to being on the sidelines; they like to command and manipulate. Leo's selfishness can be compared, perhaps, with the selfishness of Aries. He thinks first of all about himself and his place, and only then about everything else.
Where it leads? The domineering Leo will make you very nervous if you are also not a timid person and compete with him. If you don’t pay too much attention to him, Leo will not take revenge, but will do everything to prove to you that he is better than everyone else, and then you will have to suffer.
SAGITTARIUS MAN
What is its danger? Sagittarius loves freedom and does not tolerate restrictions. Although he cannot be called dangerous and insidious, rather, very kind and generous, he can still pose a threat to those women who prefer home, family comfort, confidence in the future, practicality and dream of a stone wall man.
Sagittarians are far from such ideals and will hide from responsibility in every possible way, going on long journeys or plunging into the world of virtual space.
Where it leads? If you share his interests and participate in his grandiose and unpredictable plans, then you will not have any threat to a happy relationship. Otherwise, you will gradually move away and eventually lose sight of him.
VIRGO MAN
What is its danger? A man of this sign does not pose a particular threat if you live by his rules: you maintain order and do not demand calf tenderness from him. He can be petty, down-to-earth and devoid of any adventurism, and his danger can only be associated with a grumpy character and a desire to criticize you and your way of life.
If you don't like being told how to live, it's better not to get involved with him, because a Virgo man will always have his own idea of life and will impose it on you.
Where it leads? In the end, he will simply torment you with his correctness, pickiness and desire to see the dishes always perfectly washed and laid out on the shelves.
CANCER MAN
What is its danger? Cancer men are not too dangerous for representatives of the opposite sex, as they usually correspond to their ideas about relationships. At its best, Cancer will be a caring and gentle father and husband; he will not mind tying the knot; on the contrary, he will strive to start a family with the one he loves.
And yet, like other water signs, he has a tendency to manipulate. This can be dangerous if you give in. Also, some Cancers are quite stingy and will not spend much on their lifelong friends, explaining this by the fact that they have distant and serious intentions regarding the purchase of something important for the family. Usually these plans are rarely implemented.
Where it leads? He will very quickly sit on your head and command you, trying to impose his opinion.
LIBRA MAN
What is its danger? The Libra man loves himself and wants everyone to like him, but his other half may not like it at all. He is used to flirting with everyone, is excellent at maintaining small talk and, in the worst case scenario, will not miss a single skirt. This can be very dangerous for those women who want to save their man's attention only for themselves.
However, Libra men do not pose a particularly strong danger: usually they still know what they want and know how to behave with women so as not to lead to conflicts and quarrels.
Where it leads? Remember that your selfishness can lead to a serious threat to the relationship, since the Libra man cannot be prohibited from communicating and flirting.
The essay contains references to the story by O. Pavlova.
Option 1
Egoism is a person’s desire to put himself above everyone else, and if he succeeds, then it seems to such a person that the world revolves only around him. This quality is considered negative, because behind it are immodesty, pride, and sometimes even heartlessness.
In O. Pavlova's story we can find several egoistic characters.
Max Smirnov, wanting to make a joke, does not hesitate to imitate the stuttering Zhukov. It’s common for Katya Lebedeva to narcissistically admire her embroidery. Despite the fact that Max is the captain of the school basketball team, and Katya is beautiful and talented, they do not evoke sympathy from the reader.
But because selfishness nullifies all the virtues of a person, making him unpleasant and soulless.
Option 2
I believe that selfishness is one of the most unpleasant qualities in a person. This is narcissism, thirst for attention and stupidity combined. The egoist does not notice the people around him; on the contrary, he expects adoration and admiration.
Let's see, turning to the proposed text, how unpleasant manifestations of selfishness can be.
Katya Lebedeva does not doubt her own superiority so much that she does not for a second allow the thought that Zhukov will write his essay not about her. The narcissistic girl accepts his kind attitude without gratitude, with “feigned dissatisfaction.” Surely it was about her that Vovka wrote: “True talent without kindness is like dead flowers.”
Unfortunately, I can also be selfish. I am still ashamed of the money that I took from my grandmother for a long time for small expenses, until my mother told me that my grandmother was saving on herself in order to collect this amount for me. But I didn’t even think about the fact that my grandmother’s pension was very small.
For egoists, as I understand even from my own experience, all interests are limited to their own “I”.
Option 3
I think selfishness is the unwillingness to understand that there is someone else in this world besides you. A selfish person considers himself smarter, better, more worthy than others.
Selfishness is a quality that distinguishes Katya Lebedeva from O. Pavlova’s story. Everyone considers her the first beauty, objects are easy for her, but at the same time she is arrogant, rude and immodest: Katya calls her embroidery amazing and brags about it. Agree, such behavior is selfish.
Max Smirnov behaves no better: he is not shy about teasing the stuttering Zhukov, and behaves defiantly.
And only Vovka Zhukov, with his essay, taught a lesson to all those who behave selfishly in their class.
There is no beauty in a person if he loves only himself and his achievements.
Option 4
Selfishness is the behavior of a person when he thinks only about himself and his merits. Egoists are often characterized by narcissism.
Let us turn to O. Pavlova’s text to prove this idea. Katya, who knows how to embroider well, brings her work to class. Trying to attract everyone’s attention to his paintings, he calls the embroideries a “beautiful garden,” admires them, and seeks confirmation of his delight in the reactions of others.
Her conceit is unpleasant, but Katya does not notice this. In addition, she is sure that Vova, who is in love with her, will definitely tell about her talents. Without even listening to his essay, she comments on what she is reading in order to once again draw attention to herself.
Eugene Onegin from the novel of the same name by A. S. Pushkin is also an egoist, and selfishness deprived him of a friend and sincere love.
Selfish people, as a rule, evoke hostile feelings.
Option 5
Selfishness is a disdainful attitude towards others and a demonstration of one’s imaginary and real merits. Egoists love only themselves.
Let us prove this idea with examples from O. Pavlova’s text. In the class where the girl Katya studies, everyone has long noticed that the quiet and C-grade student Zhuk is in love with her. However, Katya humiliates him, demonstrating her disdain. Feigned dissatisfaction is also heard in her words when Katya listens to Vovka’s composition, confident that it is written about her. Material from the site
But the girl certainly signs her works, admires them, and boasts that an exhibition of her “delightful garden” will be organized. Katya does not yet understand how unhappy she is in her selfishness: unable to love anyone other than herself, she is doomed to loneliness.
However, this is natural: few people would want to communicate with a person who is only interested in himself.
Option 6
Selfishness is the disgusting tendency of a person to consider himself better than everyone else. An egoist, as a rule, is soulless and self-confident; he does not take into account the feelings of the people around him.
Thus, in O. Pavlova’s text, Katya leaves an unpleasant impression of herself, although she sings, draws, and embroiders well. However, I don’t want to admire her talent, because the girl constantly does it herself.
Having decided that she is the best and everything is allowed to her, the girl easily insults her classmate. When the topic of a couplet of a boy in love comes up, Katya grimaces with contempt. This egoist is aware only of her own exclusivity.
In order for everyone to live well in society, everyone must think not only about themselves, but also about others.
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