The e-book is posted here Remedy for Fear the author whose name is Kurpatov Andrey Vladimirovich.
In the ALIBET electronic library you can download for free or read online the e-book Andrey Vladimirovich Kurpatov - A Remedy for Fear in txt format, without registration and without SMS; and get from the book The Remedy for Fear what you want.
Book file size Remedy for Fear equals 227.73 KB
Andrey Kurpatov
Remedy for Fear
Express consultation C
“Cure for Fear”: Neva; 2003
annotation
A truly happy life is a life free from fear. By and large, it is not difficult to free yourself from fear. We only need to know how it arises in our country, where it “hides” and how to “smoke it out” from there. This book will reveal to you the nature of your fears and teach you how to overcome them.
The author of the book is Andrey Kurpatov, a unique and authoritative specialist, head of the St. Petersburg City Psychotherapeutic Center, psychotherapist at the Neurosis Clinic named after. Academician I.P. Pavlov, member of the Baltic Pedagogical Academy. His books, written in easy language, fascinating, full of humor, self-irony, with exceptional content, inevitably become bestsellers. Everything he writes is not only interesting, but most importantly – important and practical.
Andrey Kurpatov
Remedy for Fear
After I wrote “Happy by My Own Desire,” a whole series of books, “Pocket Psychotherapist,” somehow appeared by itself. In them I tried to talk about those things that, in my opinion, it would be nice for every educated person to know. Well, judge for yourself, in our daily lives we use mathematical knowledge (if not professionally, then at least everyone does it at the grocery store checkout), and therefore it is quite understandable why we should have studied mathematics at school. We use the Russian language - we speak, write, “read with a dictionary,” so it is not by chance that Russian language lessons are included in the “mandatory educational standard.” Finally, it is even difficult to imagine what our life would be like if we had not studied literature at school; at least, we definitely wouldn’t have turned out to be cultured people. All this is natural.
But we use (and every single day!) our psychology, our psyche... And who taught us to use it? Who explained to us what's what here, what's from what and what's behind what? There were no such lessons in our lives, “we all learned a little something and somehow.” As a result, the appointment with the psychotherapist is overbooked, and in the personal lives of most of us - “the hall is empty, the candles have gone out.” So, in fact, in order to somehow relieve the severity of this problem, I wrote books in the “Pocket Psychotherapist” series. And they are addressed to each of those few to whom his own life is not indifferent. Half of these books are devoted to how to live “faithfully and truly” with yourself, the second half to how to live “happily ever after” with others. However, as you might guess, one without the other simply does not work here.
Now, the readers of my “Pocket Psychotherapist”, who realize that the quality of their life depends not so much on external factors, but on how they feel, how they feel, have specific questions. Some were interested in the question of how to cope with sleep disorders (that is, insomnia), others discovered depression and wanted to get rid of it, others were bothered by some specific fears (for example, the fear of flying on airplanes, speaking in front of a large audience, etc. .), the fourth want to improve their health, which has been shaken due to the instability of the nervous system (to overcome vegetative-vascular dystonia, hypertension acquired at a young age, peptic ulcer of the stomach and duodenum), the fifth are concerned about the problem of excess weight, the sixth do not know how to overcome fatigue and overwork, sevenths want to know how to find a common language with their child, eighths are deciding for themselves the issue of “betrayal” (their own or in relation to themselves), ninths have questions from the field of sexology, tenths... In short, questions started pouring in , and I have no choice but to talk about ways to solve these problems.
So these books appeared, these “express consultations” on various problems that we all face, but from time to time and to varying degrees of severity. And I called this series of books “Express Consultation.” I hope they will be useful to my readers; at least, my patients will find the “remedies” contained in them very, very useful. However, I don’t think that these “express consultations” can completely replace the “Pocket Psychotherapist”. In order to solve a particular problem, you need to know where its roots are located, and for this it is necessary, at least in general terms, to imagine the entire “anatomy” of this tree, a tree whose name is no less than our life.
To complete this preface, I would like to thank all my patients who took part in the creation of this book, as well as the staff of the Neurosis Clinic named after. Academician I.P. Pavlov, in which I have the pleasure of working.
Yours sincerely
Andrey Kurpatov
Introduction.
If you believe the statistics, then neurotic fears are found in every third inhabitant of our long-suffering planet. It has even been calculated what kind of fears there are - how many people are afraid of flying on airplanes, how many live in anticipation of imminent death from some far-fetched, but at the same time “incurable” disease, how many people are afraid of “open space”, how many are afraid of “closed”, etc. etc., etc. In short, the scientists counted all of us and “placed” each of us in our own column.
But, you know, I don’t really trust these numbers. We all understand well that what is important is not how much is counted, but what is important is how to count. For example, I have never seen data on how many people in their daily lives are guided not by their “I want”, but by their “I’m afraid” - “if only something might not work out”, “won’t they think of something like that” and “what will it look like?” “(I’ll tell you a secret that everyone who doesn’t think so is already sitting in the “yellow houses” scattered in abundance throughout the expanses of our vast homeland).
If we add up all the fears of a “normal person” (at least those that he experiences during one day), then we get the strength of anxiety, measured in thousands of amperes! However, here the question immediately arises: maybe this is how it should be if the “fearless” are “lodging” in madhouses? But do we really have only two alternatives - either not to be afraid and live in hospitals, or to be afraid, but at least in freedom? And in general, is it really necessary to suffer from fear neurosis in order to be considered normal? No, of course! Firstly, there are much more alternatives; they are not limited to the two listed; secondly, a truly good life is a life free from fear. Mental health and fear are completely incompatible things with each other.
Freeing yourself from fear is, by and large, not difficult. We only need to know how it arises in us, how it works and where it hides. In fact, I invite you to go out with me “on the hunt” for “gray predators – mature and puppies,” that is, your big and small fears (especially since the latter threaten to grow up and turn into seasoned ones at the first opportunity) . We will find out the habits and habits of our fears; we will understand what feeds them - the legs or, perhaps, some other part of the body; We will finally find a remedy against them.
The main danger in this life is people who want to change everything - or not change anything.
Nancy Astor
The main thing is to know why you are doing it. If only to “calm the nerves,” then the success of our “hunt,” to put it mildly, is not guaranteed. If we launch this “expedition”, wanting to free ourselves for a happy life, then we will not return without booty - we will defeat everyone. Yes, I need exactly this mood - forward and with a song! And if you set goals for yourself, then only grandiose ones: all fears are in vain, and you want to live!
Chapter 1. Fear - what it is.
When in my classes and lectures I ask: “Who has fears?”, only a few people answer “Yes” at first. Then I have to tell you about what kind of fears there are in general, and the number of people answering “Yes” among those present approaches one hundred percent. Why is that? There are two reasons.
First, we remember our fears when we find ourselves in circumstances that provoke those fears. Without these circumstances, we simply would not remember these fears. For example, if I am terrified of cockroaches, I am unlikely to remember this while sitting in a lecture hall.
Secondly, there are fears in our arsenal that we never remember at all, because we have found a way to avoid the corresponding situations. If, for example, I am afraid to swim in the open ocean, then I will not try to get to the corresponding resort; my vacation will traditionally take place on a personal plot or at a ski resort.
But even if, as they say, I don’t remember my fear offhand, this does not mean that it does not exist. Tell me about him, and I will immediately confess. But do I need to remind you? And is it necessary to get rid of fear, which, in essence, appears to us relatively rarely? I think yes. And there are also two reasons.
If we remember our fear only at the moment when it appears to us, then we will never get rid of it. And if we don’t get rid of our fears, we will become disabled – people with “disabilities”, because our fears do not allow us to do a lot, sometimes a lot...
So let’s take a look “without fear or reproach” at what kind of fears there are.
The simplest classification.
In my book “Through Life with Neurosis,” I talked about what the human self-preservation instinct is. It is he who is responsible for the production of our fears, because the evolutionary meaning of fear is to protect us from possible threats. Fear is an instinctive command to escape. An animal, some runaway hare, is incapable of thinking the way we think. It cannot assess the situation with the help of reason and make a meaningful decision, correlating it with its desires and needs. Nature must decide this for the animal itself, without counting on its IQ. So in the animal kingdom, fear essentially functions as common sense.
However, we are not much different from our smaller brothers - we also have fear and it continues to fulfill its evolutionary function as a signal to flee when danger appears in our field of vision. True, we also have reason, sanity (at least that’s what we want to believe). We are able to assess a given situation using our knowledge and logic, calculate options and understand what we should do to achieve what we want. And here the first difficulty arises: it turns out that two subjects are responsible for the same function in our psyche - fear and common sense.
And we must admit that this is the worst management model. It’s good if they agree on a particular situation (although it is not clear why we need two “I approve” resolutions on one document). What if they don't get along? If, for example, fear says: “Run! Run away! Save yourself!”, and at the same moment common sense reassures: “It’s okay! Do not worry it's okay! You are in no danger!” And what do you order to do in such a situation?! You will inevitably remember Ivan Andreevich Krylov, because here there are real swan, crayfish and pike, and in our personal performance! A constant struggle of motives, internal tension, and as a result - neurosis in person.
Now comes difficulty number two. What does the mentioned hare know, and what do you and I know? What does a one-year-old child know, and what does a person who has already lived most of his life know? Do you think there is a difference? Undoubtedly. Now let’s think about what this knowledge gives us. Is it good to know more, how much benefit does this have for our mental apparatus?
Of course, we remember only what is important to us, and only what our instinct of self-preservation deems important is important to us. In other words, everything that can give us pleasure and displeasure (and this is precisely what our instinct of self-preservation occupies) will be identified by our attention and carefully preserved by our memory. What once gave us pleasure will now attract us. What has caused us displeasure, on the contrary, will subsequently frighten us.
And the more we know about what can give us pleasure, and the more we know about what can cause our displeasure, the harder it is for us to live. After all, we want more and fear more. In addition, we worry - what if we fail to get what we want? And won't it be worse if we get it, and isn't it dangerous to achieve this? After all, you never know how things will end and where trouble awaits you. Yes, it was not for nothing that King Solomon said: “Knowledge multiplies sorrow!”
Any animal, compared to us, has no problems at all - a few questions, but it doesn’t know about the rest and, most importantly, cannot know. We, being intelligent and mindful beings, are not only in constant stress, but also tormented by the struggle of motives: “I want it, and it hurts, and my mother doesn’t tell me...” So I want, for example, to the Canary Islands, but to fly there necessary, but scary. I'm suffering. The hare doesn’t need the Canaries for nothing, so there are fewer problems! Or, for example, I want those around me to appreciate and support me (which, of course, is always little, always insufficient), and therefore the fear arises that someday I will be left completely alone - without help and approval. Would such stupidity even occur to a hare?! Never! Yes, the life of a “reasonable man” is difficult.
Finally, the third difficulty. As I already said in the book “With Neurosis in Life,” our instinct of self-preservation is not homogeneous, but consists of three whole instincts: the instinct of self-preservation of life, the instinct of self-preservation of the group (hierarchical instinct) and the instinct of self-preservation of the species (sexual instinct). It is important for us not only to physically preserve our lives, but also to find consensus with other people (our existence also directly depends on this), and, finally, to continue our race, that is, to preserve our lives in our own offspring.
Perhaps it will seem to someone that all this, as they say, is a matter of profit, that one can limit oneself to physical survival, but you go explain it to our subconscious... He has these three “Arkharovites” operating there and conflicting with each other in the most merciless way way!
Imagine some action that, on the one hand, contributes to my personal survival, but on the other, threatens to result in conflict with my fellow tribesmen. I ran away from the front line - it’s scary, after all, and then my comrades with their court of officer’s honor bit me. Or another combination - the sexual instinct is satisfied, but some Montagues or Capulets are ready to make a steak out of me for this “contentment”. In short, it only seems that order reigns inside our head, but in fact the name of the little head is chaos!
But I promised the simplest classification of fears.
It would be great to have a book Remedy for Fear author Kurpatov Andrey Vladimirovich would give you what you want!
If so, then I can recommend this book Remedy for Fear to your friends by setting a link to this page with the book: Kurpatov Andrey Vladimirovich - A Remedy for Fear.
Page Keywords: Remedy for fear; Kurpatov Andrey Vladimirovich, download, free, read, book, electronic, online
Andrey Kurpatov
After I wrote “Happy by My Own Desire,” a whole series of books, “Pocket Psychotherapist,” somehow appeared by itself. In them I tried to talk about those things that, in my opinion, it would be nice for every educated person to know. Well, judge for yourself, in our daily lives we use mathematical knowledge (if not professionally, then at least everyone does it at the grocery store checkout), and therefore it is quite understandable why we should have studied mathematics at school. We use the Russian language - we speak, write, “read with a dictionary,” so it is not by chance that Russian language lessons are included in the “mandatory educational standard.” Finally, it is even difficult to imagine what our life would be like if we had not studied literature at school; at least, we definitely wouldn’t have turned out to be cultured people. All this is natural.
But we use (and every single day!) our psychology, our psyche... And who taught us to use it? Who explained to us what's what here, what's from what and what's behind what? There were no such lessons in our lives, “we all learned a little something and somehow.” As a result, the appointment with the psychotherapist is overbooked, and in the personal lives of most of us - “the hall is empty, the candles have gone out.” So, in fact, in order to somehow relieve the severity of this problem, I wrote books in the “Pocket Psychotherapist” series. And they are addressed to each of those few to whom his own life is not indifferent. Half of these books are devoted to how to live “faithfully and truly” with yourself, the second half to how to live “happily ever after” with others. However, as you might guess, one without the other simply does not work here.
Now, the readers of my “Pocket Psychotherapist”, who realize that the quality of their life depends not so much on external factors, but on how they feel, how they feel, have specific questions. Some were interested in the question of how to cope with sleep disorders (that is, insomnia), others discovered depression and wanted to get rid of it, others were bothered by some specific fears (for example, the fear of flying on airplanes, speaking in front of a large audience, etc. .), the fourth want to improve their health, which has been shaken due to the instability of the nervous system (to overcome vegetative-vascular dystonia, hypertension acquired at a young age, peptic ulcer of the stomach and duodenum), the fifth are concerned about the problem of excess weight, the sixth do not know how to overcome fatigue and overwork, sevenths want to know how to find a common language with their child, eighths are deciding for themselves the issue of “betrayal” (their own or in relation to themselves), ninths have questions from the field of sexology, tenths... In short, questions started pouring in , and I have no choice but to talk about ways to solve these problems.
So these books appeared, these “express consultations” on various problems that we all face, but from time to time and to varying degrees of severity. And I called the series of these books “Express Consultation.” I hope they will be useful to my readers; at least, my patients will find the “remedies” contained in them very, very useful. However, I don’t think that these “express consultations” can completely replace the “Pocket Psychotherapist”. In order to solve a particular problem, you need to know where its roots are located, and for this it is necessary, at least in general terms, to imagine the entire “anatomy” of this tree, a tree whose name is no less than our life.
To complete this preface, I would like to thank all my patients who took part in the creation of this book, as well as the staff of the Neurosis Clinic named after. Academician I.P. Pavlov, in which I have the pleasure of working.
Yours sincerely
Andrey Kurpatov
Introduction.
If you believe the statistics, then neurotic fears are found in every third inhabitant of our long-suffering planet. It has even been calculated how many fears there are - how many people are afraid of flying on airplanes, how many live in anticipation of imminent death from some far-fetched, but at the same time “incurable” disease, how many people are afraid of “open space”, how many are afraid of “closed” space, etc. etc., etc. In short, the scientists counted all of us and “placed” each of us in our own column.
But, you know, I don’t really trust these numbers. We all understand well that what is important is not how much is counted, but what is important is how to count. For example, I have never seen data on how many people are guided in their daily lives not by their “I want”, but by their “I’m afraid” - “if only something would happen,” “won’t they think something?” such" and “what will it look like” (I’ll tell you a secret that everyone who does this doesn't think are already sitting in the “yellow houses” scattered in abundance across the expanses of our vast homeland).
If we add up all the fears of a “normal person” (at least those that he experiences during one day), then we get the strength of anxiety, measured in thousands of amperes! However, here the question immediately arises: maybe this is how it should be if the “fearless” are “lodging” in madhouses? But do we really have only two alternatives - either not to be afraid and live in hospitals, or to be afraid, but at least in freedom? And in general, is it really necessary to suffer from fear neurosis in order to be considered normal? No, of course! Firstly, there are much more alternatives; they are not limited to the two listed; secondly, a truly good life is a life free from fear. Mental health and fear are completely incompatible things with each other.
Freeing yourself from fear is, by and large, not difficult. We only need to know how it arises in us, how it works and where it hides. In fact, I invite you to go out with me “on the hunt” for “gray predators - mature and puppies,” that is, your big and small fears (especially since the latter threaten to grow up and turn into seasoned ones at the first opportunity) . We will find out the habits and habits of our fears; we will understand what feeds them - the legs or, perhaps, some other part of the body; We will finally find a remedy against them.
The main danger in this life are people who want to change everything - or not change anything.
Nancy Astor
The main thing is to know why you are doing it. If only to “calm the nerves,” then the success of our “hunt,” to put it mildly, is not guaranteed. If we launch this “expedition”, wanting to free ourselves for a happy life, then we will not return without booty - we will defeat everyone. Yes, I need exactly this mood - forward and with a song! And if you set goals for yourself, then only grandiose ones: all fears are in vain, and you want to live!
Chapter 1. Fear - what it is.
When in my classes and lectures I ask: “Who has fears?”, only a few people answer “Yes” at first. Then I have to tell you about what kind of fears there are in general, and the number of people answering “Yes” among those present approaches one hundred percent. Why is that? There are two reasons.
First, we remember our fears when we find ourselves in circumstances that provoke those fears. Without these circumstances, we simply would not remember these fears. For example, if I am terrified of cockroaches, I am unlikely to remember this while sitting in a lecture hall.
Secondly, there are fears in our arsenal that we never remember at all, because we have found a way to avoid the corresponding situations. If, for example, I am afraid to swim in the open ocean, then I will not try to get to the corresponding resort; my vacation will traditionally take place on a personal plot or at a ski resort.
But even if, as they say, I don’t remember my fear offhand, this does not mean that it does not exist. Tell me about him, and I will immediately confess. But do I need to remind you? And is it necessary to get rid of fear, which, in essence, appears to us relatively rarely? I think yes. And there are also two reasons.
If we remember our fear only at the moment when it appears to us, then we will never get rid of it. And if we do not get rid of our fears, then we will be disabled - people with “disabilities”, because our fears do not allow us to do a lot, sometimes a lot...
So let’s take a look “without fear or reproach” at what kind of fears there are.
The simplest classification.
In my book “Through Life with Neurosis,” I talked about what the human self-preservation instinct is. It is he who is responsible for the production of our fears, because the evolutionary meaning of fear is to protect us from possible threats. Fear is an instinctive command to escape. An animal, some runaway hare, is incapable of thinking the way we think. It cannot assess the situation with the help of reason and make a meaningful decision, correlating it with its desires and needs. Nature must decide this for the animal itself, without counting on its IQ. So in the animal kingdom, fear essentially functions as common sense.
Dec 9, 2016Remedy for Fear Kurpatov Andrey
(No ratings yet)
Title: Cure for Fear
About the book “The Remedy for Fear” Andrey Kurpatov
On our website about books, you can download the site for free without registration or read online the book “The Remedy for Fear” by Andrey Kurpatov in epub, fb2, txt, rtf, pdf formats for iPad, iPhone, Android and Kindle. The book will give you a lot of pleasant moments and real pleasure from reading. You can buy the full version from our partner. Also, here you will find the latest news from the literary world, learn the biography of your favorite authors. For beginning writers, there is a separate section with useful tips and tricks, interesting articles, thanks to which you yourself can try your hand at literary crafts.
Quotes from the book “The Remedy for Fear” Andrey Kurpatov
It is what we are attached to that is our weak link, it is our desires, faced with the impossibility of their realization, that drive us crazy.
In short, “everything is fine” (the usual formulation of decent people for such cases, which should be interpreted approximately as follows: “I have no strength, I’m fed up with everything, I would die, but there’s no way”).
If a person is truly responsible and serious, then he must understand that neurasthenia is a disease, and a serious disease, it is not something to joke about. You can, of course, push yourself day and night, like a riding horse, but everything has a limit, and at some point this horse will simply, to put it mildly, fail.
Neurasthenia moves like an avalanche - it all starts with a small internal conflict - a “sore point” - or simply with overexertion, and then one thing begins to cling to another. Being exhausted, our nervous system becomes much more sensitive and vulnerable, which is why our general anxiety increases and a wide variety of fears appear, irritability increases, and this, in turn, leads to even greater depletion of our mental apparatus. Overexertion leads to sleep disturbances, and we are deprived of proper rest, which, as you understand, with neurasthenia is like death.
Title: Cure for Fear
Writer: Andrey Kurpatov
Genres: Medicine
About the book “The Remedy for Fear” Andrey Kurpatov
In the modern world, it is difficult to avoid various stressful situations, fears and irritability, so it is extremely necessary to have some psychotherapeutic knowledge. For those who care about their health, we recommend reading the book “The Remedy for Fear,” written by the famous Russian psychotherapist Andrei Kurpatov. The work will reveal to you a lot of interesting things about fears and their varieties. The author will also explain to you the main reasons for their appearance and, of course, tell you about methods of getting rid of them.
Andrey Kurpatov is a leading specialist in psychotherapy, television producer, creator of Russia’s first television programs about psychology. Andrey began his scientific activity while studying at the Military Medical Academy and was able to achieve tremendous success in his knowledge of psychology. The acquired knowledge helps the author not only reveal the roots of the problem, but also find ways to solve them. We know that each person is unique and inimitable in his own way, so Andrei Kurpatov did a lot of work, in which he was helped by scientific research, knowledge of psychology and philosophy. His techniques are very popular and have been able to help many people.
The book “The Cure for Fear” examines the types of phobias that exist in our world. At the same time, the author pays attention to each individually and considers the symptoms of their manifestation. He also tells what caused the manifestation of these symptoms and very popularly explains how to deal with them. Andrey Kurpanov showed himself not only to be a talented person, but also an excellent specialist, capable of penetrating to the very depths of a problem and finding the right solution.
The author also makes a comparison of heart disease with VSD and ordinary neurosis, characteristic of almost every person. VSD should not be perceived on a physical level, but considered as a psychological disorder that requires a special approach. The book has several sections describing the internal processes that occur in the human body under the influence of various situations. You can also find chapters describing medications, their composition and properties, which will be very useful to know before using them.
Andrei Kurpatov explains all the information presented in the book “The Remedy for Fear” in simple and accessible language with the addition of a humorous form so that it can be easier to perceive. Despite the numerous terms, the book “The Remedy for Fear” is quite easy to read, and it can also help you cope with phobias. For the desired result, you need not only to read the book, but also to begin to apply the acquired knowledge in practice.
On our literary website you can download the book “The Remedy for Fear” by Andrey Kurpatov for free in formats suitable for different devices - epub, fb2, txt, rtf. Do you like to read books and always keep up with new releases? We have a large selection of books of various genres: classics, modern fiction, psychological literature and children's publications. In addition, we offer interesting and educational articles for aspiring writers and all those who want to learn how to write beautifully. Each of our visitors will be able to find something useful and exciting for themselves.
This page of the site contains a literary work Remedy for Fear the author whose name is Kurpatov Andrey Vladimirovich. On the website you can either download the free book The Remedy for Fear in RTF, TXT, FB2 and EPUB formats, or read the online e-book Andrey Vladimirovich Kurpatov - The Remedy for Fear without registration and without SMS.
Archive size with the book The Remedy for Fear = 228.03 KB
Express consultation -
“Cure for Fear”: Neva; 2003
annotation
A truly happy life is a life free from fear. By and large, it is not difficult to free yourself from fear. We only need to know how it arises in our country, where it “hides” and how to “smoke it out” from there. This book will reveal to you the nature of your fears and teach you how to overcome them.
The author of the book is Andrey Kurpatov, a unique and authoritative specialist, head of the St. Petersburg City Psychotherapeutic Center, psychotherapist at the Neurosis Clinic named after. Academician I.P. Pavlov, member of the Baltic Pedagogical Academy. His books, written in easy language, fascinating, full of humor, self-irony, with exceptional content, inevitably become bestsellers. Everything he writes is not only interesting, but most importantly – important and practical.
Andrey Kurpatov
Remedy for Fear
Preface by the author.
After I wrote “Happy by My Own Desire,” a whole series of books, “Pocket Psychotherapist,” somehow appeared by itself. In them I tried to talk about those things that, in my opinion, it would be nice for every educated person to know. Well, judge for yourself, in our daily lives we use mathematical knowledge (if not professionally, then at least everyone does it at the grocery store checkout), and therefore it is quite understandable why we should have studied mathematics at school. We use the Russian language - we speak, write, “read with a dictionary,” so it is not by chance that Russian language lessons are included in the “mandatory educational standard.” Finally, it is even difficult to imagine what our life would be like if we had not studied literature at school; at least, we definitely wouldn’t have turned out to be cultured people. All this is natural.
But we use (and every single day!) our psychology, our psyche... And who taught us to use it? Who explained to us what's what here, what's from what and what's behind what? There were no such lessons in our lives, “we all learned a little something and somehow.” As a result, the appointment with the psychotherapist is overbooked, and in the personal lives of most of us - “the hall is empty, the candles have gone out.” So, in fact, in order to somehow relieve the severity of this problem, I wrote books in the “Pocket Psychotherapist” series. And they are addressed to each of those few to whom his own life is not indifferent. Half of these books are devoted to how to live “faithfully and truly” with yourself, the second half to how to live “happily ever after” with others. However, as you might guess, one without the other simply does not work here.
Now, the readers of my “Pocket Psychotherapist”, who realize that the quality of their life depends not so much on external factors, but on how they feel, how they feel, have specific questions. Some were interested in the question of how to cope with sleep disorders (that is, insomnia), others discovered depression and wanted to get rid of it, others were bothered by some specific fears (for example, the fear of flying on airplanes, speaking in front of a large audience, etc. .), the fourth want to improve their health, which has been shaken due to the instability of the nervous system (to overcome vegetative-vascular dystonia, hypertension acquired at a young age, peptic ulcer of the stomach and duodenum), the fifth are concerned about the problem of excess weight, the sixth do not know how to overcome fatigue and overwork, sevenths want to know how to find a common language with their child, eighths are deciding for themselves the issue of “betrayal” (their own or in relation to themselves), ninths have questions from the field of sexology, tenths... In short, questions started pouring in , and I have no choice but to talk about ways to solve these problems.
So these books appeared, these “express consultations” on various problems that we all face, but from time to time and to varying degrees of severity. And I called this series of books “Express Consultation.” I hope they will be useful to my readers; at least, my patients will find the “remedies” contained in them very, very useful. However, I don’t think that these “express consultations” can completely replace the “Pocket Psychotherapist”. In order to solve a particular problem, you need to know where its roots are located, and for this it is necessary, at least in general terms, to imagine the entire “anatomy” of this tree, a tree whose name is no less than our life.
To complete this preface, I would like to thank all my patients who took part in the creation of this book, as well as the staff of the Neurosis Clinic named after. Academician I.P. Pavlov, in which I have the pleasure of working.
Yours sincerely
Andrey Kurpatov
Introduction.
If you believe the statistics, then neurotic fears are found in every third inhabitant of our long-suffering planet. It has even been calculated what kind of fears there are - how many people are afraid of flying on airplanes, how many live in anticipation of imminent death from some far-fetched, but at the same time “incurable” disease, how many people are afraid of “open space”, how many are afraid of “closed”, etc. etc., etc. In short, the scientists counted all of us and “placed” each of us in our own column.
But, you know, I don’t really trust these numbers. We all understand well that what is important is not how much is counted, but what is important is how to count. For example, I have never seen data on how many people in their daily lives are guided not by their “I want”, but by their “I’m afraid” - “if only something might not work out”, “won’t they think of something like that” and “what will it look like?” “(I’ll tell you a secret that everyone who doesn’t think so is already sitting in the “yellow houses” scattered in abundance throughout the expanses of our vast homeland).
If we add up all the fears of a “normal person” (at least those that he experiences during one day), then we get the strength of anxiety, measured in thousands of amperes! However, here the question immediately arises: maybe this is how it should be if the “fearless” are “lodging” in madhouses? But do we really have only two alternatives - either not to be afraid and live in hospitals, or to be afraid, but at least in freedom? And in general, is it really necessary to suffer from fear neurosis in order to be considered normal? No, of course! Firstly, there are much more alternatives; they are not limited to the two listed; secondly, a truly good life is a life free from fear. Mental health and fear are completely incompatible things with each other.
Freeing yourself from fear is, by and large, not difficult. We only need to know how it arises in us, how it works and where it hides. In fact, I invite you to go out with me “on the hunt” for “gray predators – mature and puppies,” that is, your big and small fears (especially since the latter threaten to grow up and turn into seasoned ones at the first opportunity) . We will find out the habits and habits of our fears; we will understand what feeds them - the legs or, perhaps, some other part of the body; We will finally find a remedy against them.
The main danger in this life is people who want to change everything - or not change anything.
Nancy Astor
The main thing is to know why you are doing it. If only to “calm the nerves,” then the success of our “hunt,” to put it mildly, is not guaranteed. If we launch this “expedition”, wanting to free ourselves for a happy life, then we will not return without booty - we will defeat everyone. Yes, I need exactly this mood - forward and with a song! And if you set goals for yourself, then only grandiose ones: all fears are in vain, and you want to live!
Chapter 1. Fear - what it is.
When in my classes and lectures I ask: “Who has fears?”, only a few people answer “Yes” at first. Then I have to tell you about what kind of fears there are in general, and the number of people answering “Yes” among those present approaches one hundred percent. Why is that? There are two reasons.
First, we remember our fears when we find ourselves in circumstances that provoke those fears. Without these circumstances, we simply would not remember these fears. For example, if I am terrified of cockroaches, I am unlikely to remember this while sitting in a lecture hall.
Secondly, there are fears in our arsenal that we never remember at all, because we have found a way to avoid the corresponding situations. If, for example, I am afraid to swim in the open ocean, then I will not try to get to the corresponding resort; my vacation will traditionally take place on a personal plot or at a ski resort.
But even if, as they say, I don’t remember my fear offhand, this does not mean that it does not exist. Tell me about him, and I will immediately confess. But do I need to remind you? And is it necessary to get rid of fear, which, in essence, appears to us relatively rarely? I think yes. And there are also two reasons.
If we remember our fear only at the moment when it appears to us, then we will never get rid of it. And if we don’t get rid of our fears, we will become disabled – people with “disabilities”, because our fears do not allow us to do a lot, sometimes a lot...
So let’s take a look “without fear or reproach” at what kind of fears there are.
The simplest classification.
In my book “Through Life with Neurosis,” I talked about what the human self-preservation instinct is. It is he who is responsible for the production of our fears, because the evolutionary meaning of fear is to protect us from possible threats. Fear is an instinctive command to escape. An animal, some runaway hare, is incapable of thinking the way we think. It cannot assess the situation with the help of reason and make a meaningful decision, correlating it with its desires and needs. Nature must decide this for the animal itself, without counting on its IQ. So in the animal kingdom, fear essentially functions as common sense.
However, we are not much different from our smaller brothers - we also have fear and it continues to fulfill its evolutionary function as a signal to flee when danger appears in our field of vision. True, we also have reason, sanity (at least that’s what we want to believe). We are able to assess a given situation using our knowledge and logic, calculate options and understand what we should do to achieve what we want. And here the first difficulty arises: it turns out that two subjects are responsible for the same function in our psyche - fear and common sense.
And we must admit that this is the worst management model. It’s good if they agree on a particular situation (although it is not clear why we need two “I approve” resolutions on one document). What if they don't get along? If, for example, fear says: “Run! Run away! Save yourself!”, and at the same moment common sense reassures: “It’s okay! Do not worry it's okay! You are in no danger!” And what do you order to do in such a situation?! You will inevitably remember Ivan Andreevich Krylov, because here there are real swan, crayfish and pike, and in our personal performance! A constant struggle of motives, internal tension, and as a result - neurosis in person.
Now comes difficulty number two. What does the mentioned hare know, and what do you and I know? What does a one-year-old child know, and what does a person who has already lived most of his life know? Do you think there is a difference? Undoubtedly. Now let’s think about what this knowledge gives us. Is it good to know more, how much benefit does this have for our mental apparatus?
Of course, we remember only what is important to us, and only what our instinct of self-preservation deems important is important to us. In other words, everything that can give us pleasure and displeasure (and this is precisely what our instinct of self-preservation occupies) will be identified by our attention and carefully preserved by our memory. What once gave us pleasure will now attract us. What has caused us displeasure, on the contrary, will subsequently frighten us.
And the more we know about what can give us pleasure, and the more we know about what can cause our displeasure, the harder it is for us to live. After all, we want more and fear more. In addition, we worry - what if we fail to get what we want? And won't it be worse if we get it, and isn't it dangerous to achieve this? After all, you never know how things will end and where trouble awaits you. Yes, it was not for nothing that King Solomon said: “Knowledge multiplies sorrow!”
Any animal, compared to us, has no problems at all - a few questions, but it doesn’t know about the rest and, most importantly, cannot know. We, being intelligent and mindful beings, are not only in constant stress, but also tormented by the struggle of motives: “I want it, and it hurts, and my mother doesn’t tell me...” So I want, for example, to the Canary Islands, but to fly there necessary, but scary. I'm suffering. The hare doesn’t need the Canaries for nothing, so there are fewer problems! Or, for example, I want those around me to appreciate and support me (which, of course, is always little, always insufficient), and therefore the fear arises that someday I will be left completely alone - without help and approval. Would such stupidity even occur to a hare?! Never! Yes, the life of a “reasonable man” is difficult.
Finally, the third difficulty. As I already said in the book “With Neurosis in Life,” our instinct of self-preservation is not homogeneous, but consists of three whole instincts: the instinct of self-preservation of life, the instinct of self-preservation of the group (hierarchical instinct) and the instinct of self-preservation of the species (sexual instinct). It is important for us not only to physically preserve our lives, but also to find consensus with other people (our existence also directly depends on this), and, finally, to continue our race, that is, to preserve our lives in our own offspring.
Perhaps it will seem to someone that all this, as they say, is a matter of profit, that one can limit oneself to physical survival, but you go explain it to our subconscious... He has these three “Arkharovites” operating there and conflicting with each other in the most merciless way way!
Imagine some action that, on the one hand, contributes to my personal survival, but on the other, threatens to result in conflict with my fellow tribesmen. I ran away from the front line - it’s scary, after all, and then my comrades with their court of officer’s honor bit me. Or another combination - the sexual instinct is satisfied, but some Montagues or Capulets are ready to make a steak out of me for this “contentment”. In short, it only seems that order reigns inside our head, but in fact the name of the little head is chaos!
But I promised the simplest classification of fears. So: our fears are divided into those that fall under the “department” of the instinct of self-preservation of life; those that arise in the system of our social relations (here the hierarchical instinct dominates), and, finally, we have fears associated with the sphere of sexual relations, that is, with the sexual instinct. Since friction constantly arises between consciousness and subconsciousness, I am guaranteed fears for each of these points - for life, for social life and for sexual life.
Fears:
1) For your own life, health, safety (fear of death)
2) Connected with other people (fear of conflicts, “loss of face”)
3) In the sphere of sexual relations (sexual fears)
Lessons from a dead language.
The variety of our fears is outstanding! But they cannot be left unnamed, and so scientific minds began to “inventory” human fears. Since Latin was adopted as the international medical language, then, accordingly, our fears received proud Latin names, however, there are also ancient Greek ones. Now anyone can call their neurosis not just a neurosis of fear, but pompously, in a dead language. Here are a few of these “titles”.
Agoraphobia (from ancient Greek agora - square where public meetings are held) - fear of the so-called “open space”. What exactly people suffering from agoraphobia are afraid of, they themselves don’t really know. Often they can't even explain what they call "open space." They are afraid to go out into the street, and even more so to a square or embankment, sometimes to cross the road, to find themselves in an unknown place, etc. Trying to explain their fear, they say that “something could happen,” “something might happen.” What exactly? Or with health, or God knows what.
Claustrophobia (from Latin claudo - to lock, to close) is the reverse of agoraphobia, the fear of “closed space”. However, despite the apparent differences, they usually “go hand in hand.” What is a person afraid of in this case and what does he consider a “closed space”? This is a mystery for a spy. Apparently, there is some fear that “if something happens,” you won’t be able to get help behind closed doors. What's about to happen? There is a need for invention here - the fear of suffocation, the fear of a heart attack, the fear of epilepsy, etc., etc. In short, you will need an explanation, we will find it!
Oxyphobia (aichmophobia) is the fear of sharp objects. It seems to the owner of this fear that the sharp object has its own life and plans to injure him (this object) - either this person himself, or someone else, but with the help of this person. The basis of this fear is the fear of losing control over one’s actions, and the most remarkable thing about all this is that those who suffer from this fear are those who have excessive control over themselves and their actions more than anyone else.
Statistics say that one in four Americans suffers from some kind of mental illness. Think about your three best friends. If they are ok, then it is you.
Rita M. Brown
Hypsophobia (acrophobia) – fear of heights. The latter comes in two forms: one resembles the previous one - it’s scary to lose control over yourself and jump from a height in this state (“What if I go crazy and jump from the balcony?!”); the second is reminiscent of agoraphobia (“What if I feel bad, I won’t keep my balance and fall down the stairs, or, in extreme cases, I’ll just slip.”) People susceptible to this fear are often afraid of the escalator in the subway.
Dysmorphophobia is the fear of physical deformity and unattractiveness.
It would be great to have a book Remedy for Fear author Kurpatov Andrey Vladimirovich you would like it!
If so, then would you recommend this book? Remedy for Fear to your friends by placing a hyperlink to the page with this work: Andrey Vladimirovich Kurpatov - A Remedy for Fear.
Page Keywords: Remedy for fear; Kurpatov Andrey Vladimirovich, download, free, read, book, electronic, online
