Parents who want to baptize their child often wonder whether a husband and wife can be godparents. Disputes on this topic arise in Orthodox forums and among priests, since there are both opponents and supporters of this opinion.
Why can't a husband and wife baptize one child?
First of all, the parents of the child themselves absolutely cannot be godparents. As for other married couples, after marriage, the husband and wife are one whole, and therefore cannot be the adoptive parents of one child.
However, there is an opinion that is based on explanations to the decree of the Holy Synod of 1837. The canons say that to perform the sacrament of baptism, one receiving godfather is sufficient, according to the gender of the child - a godfather for boys and a godmother for girls. The presence of a second godparent is not necessary; thus, two godparents do not have a spiritual relationship with each other, and therefore can be married to each other.
In most cases, the church allows spouses to baptize one child if they were not married, i.e. their marriage is formalized only legally, in the registry office, but not according to Orthodox rites. Also, godparents are allowed to marry after baptism; this will not destroy the sacrament.
It is worth noting that there are unconfirmed superstitions among the people according to which a husband and wife cannot baptize one child, since as a result of this their marriage will fall apart and they will separate, or trouble will come to the child - he will become seriously ill or die.
Who can become a godfather
The person they want to see as a godfather must have some important qualities. First of all, he must be Orthodox. A person of a different religion or an atheist is not allowed to participate in the sacrament, since the essence of baptism and the appointment of a recipient is the upbringing of a child in Orthodoxy. The only exception is a person of the Catholic or Protestant faith, but only if there are no close Orthodox Christians willing to baptize the child.
It’s not enough to be Orthodox, you also need to have a really strong faith, be a church member, be ready to tell your godson about religion, take him to church. Personal acquaintance with this person plays an important role, since you trust him with your child.
As already mentioned, parents cannot become godparents, nor can an outside married couple (except for the cases specified above). However, other close relatives, even older brothers and sisters, are suitable for this role. But we should not lose sight of the fact that over time, in some situations, it would be easier for a teenager to seek help and advice from his godfather, if he is not part of the family.
It is important to remember that the child cannot subsequently be baptized, since the sacrament is performed only once, and accordingly, the godparent cannot be changed.
If the recipient has refused his responsibility to instruct the child religiously, or shows himself in some other bad way, then nothing can be done. You can only pray for him and hope that he will take the right path.
There are superstitions according to which an unmarried woman should not become a girl’s godmother, as this will negatively affect the possibility of future marriage. They are also wary of the idea of choosing a pregnant woman to be a godparent. Such superstitions are categorically rejected by the church; they have no basis. However, it is worth really thinking about whether a pregnant woman or an unmarried girl will be able to approach raising her godson with full responsibility, because one will soon have her own worries, and the second may not have enough life experience.
When a long-awaited baby is born, the parents’ task is to carefully introduce him into the world, protect him from misfortunes, and put him on the righteous path. Orthodox parents share this enormous responsibility with their heavenly patron and godparents. After the baptismal ceremony, the life and fate of the child are entrusted to the aspirations of the Lord and the instructions of the godparents.
How to choose godparents
Baptism is a church sacrament, at the moment of which the future fate of a person’s soul is determined. When a child is baptized, godparents are identified. How to choose godparents for your beloved child, who to entrust such responsibility to, can a husband and wife be godparents?
To be fair, it is worth noting that there is some disagreement within the church on this issue. There is an opinion that in our time a married couple can become godparents, and this is being discussed. But these doubts are theoretical, and Everyday life churches are practically not reflected. In the interests of the further well-being of godparents and godchildren, it is better to follow the approved order of things when choosing.
The role of godparents in the life of a godson
According to church rules, adult Orthodox parishioners can be recipients of baptism. After all, godfathers and mothers should become spiritual mentors to the child for life. For example, will the husband and wife you know be able to be worthy godparents for your child? After all, their role only begins after baptism: they must introduce the godson to the church, introduce him to Christian virtue, and teach the basics of religion. These must be responsible, sincerely believing people, because it is their prayers for their godson throughout his life that are paramount to the Lord. Choosing godparents for a child is a responsible step. The main thing is the ability of these people to be responsible for their godson before God, take care of his spiritual development and guide him on the righteous path. The Church believes that a godfather must take upon himself all the sins of a godson under 16 years of age.
Who should not be chosen as a godparent?
When choosing godparents, the child's family is puzzled by the problem: can a husband and wife be godparents? For example, a familiar married couple, close to the godson’s family in spirit and in church, is ideally suited to the role of mentors. Their family is a model of harmony, their relationships are imbued with love and mutual understanding. But is it possible for this husband and wife to be godparents?
Can a husband and wife be godparents for one child? No, according to church laws this is unacceptable. For the spiritual connection that arises between the recipients at baptism gives rise to a close spiritual union, which is higher than any other, including love and marriage. It is unacceptable for spouses to become godparents; this would jeopardize the continued existence of their marriage.
If the husband and wife are in a civil marriage
The church clearly decides in the negative whether a husband and wife in a civil marriage can be godparents. According to church rules, neither a husband and wife, nor a couple on the threshold of marriage can become godparents. While preaching to Orthodox people the need to enter into a church marriage, the church at the same time considers a civil marriage, that is, registered in the registry office, to be legal. Therefore, the doubt whether a husband and wife who have approved their union by registration in the registry office can be godparents is resolved by a negative answer.
Engaged couples cannot become godparents because they are on the verge of marriage, as well as couples living together outside of marriage, since these unions are considered sinful.
Who can become a godfather
Can a husband and wife be godparents to different children? Yes, this is a completely acceptable option. The husband, for example, will become the godfather of the son of loved ones, and the wife will become the godfather of her daughter. Grandparents, aunts and uncles, older sisters and brothers can also become godparents. The main thing is that he is a worthy Orthodox Christian, ready to help the child grow up in Orthodox faith. Choosing a godfather is a truly responsible decision, because it is made for life. The godfather cannot be changed in the future. If the godfather stumbles on the path of life, goes astray from the righteous direction, the godson should take care of him with prayers.
Baptismal rules
Before the ceremony, future godparents undergo training in the church and become familiar with the basic rules:
Before the sacrament of baptism, they observe a three-day fast, confess and receive communion;
Be sure to wear an Orthodox cross;
Dress appropriately for the ceremony; women wear a skirt below the knees and be sure to cover their heads; do not use lipstick;
Godparents must know and understand the meaning of “Our Father” and “Creed”, as these prayers are said during the ceremony.
Controversial cases
In exceptional cases, situations arise when parents have no other choice for godparents other than a single married couple. Doubts whether a husband and wife can be godparents for a child are more than relevant in this case. We must remember that, according to church rules, it is quite enough to assign only one godfather to the child, but of the same sex, that is, we choose a godfather for a boy, and a godmother for a girl.
In each case, when parents have individual questions or doubts about whether a husband and wife can be godparents, they should be discussed with the priest during preparation for baptism. Rarely, but still there are cases when the question of whether a husband and wife can be godparents is decided positively by the church by special permission and due to exceptional circumstances.
Baptism is an important process in Russia. Even those couples who do not believe in God or believe, simply because they have to, baptize their children. From a religious point of view, baptism is the process of cleansing a newborn from original sin. The child thus connects with God. At the same time, parents think about who to make a spiritual mentor for their child. And the question is often raised about whether a husband and wife can be godparents.
Why can't husband and wife be godparents?
Our church has a negative attitude towards this situation and prohibits a married couple from becoming the adoptive parents of one child. In this case, a couple can baptize different children from the same family.
A husband and wife cannot be godparents to the same child.
The Orthodox Church explains this prohibition by the fact that there is already a spiritual connection between husband and wife. During baptism, the bond between husband and wife can weaken, since the bond that is formed with the child during this process is the strongest.
At the same time, it is possible that the priest will turn a blind eye to this if the couple has not been married or is not yet married. But it is not advisable to do this. If you are a believer, then know that your connection with your husband at the wedding will be weak.
This is also explained by the fact that the husband and wife are already one, so neither of them can form one with the child.
Who can be godfather
Godparents can be:
- Relatives of children: grandparents, sisters, brothers and so on.
- People whose children you are a successor to.
- Godparents of your first child. If you have already baptized the first child, then when baptizing the second, you can ask the same people to become the second’s successors.
- Priest. If you don’t have really close people to whom you could entrust this, then a priest can do it.
- There are superstitions that believe that a pregnant or unmarried woman without children will bring bad luck to her newborn. Don’t believe it, such girls can become godparents.
Take the choice of a spiritual mentor for your son or daughter responsibly, since it will no longer be possible to change your choice.
Baptism is an important process. Remember also that if the parents are divorced, then the stepfather cannot become a stepfather. This important choice, so choose people who really care about your son or daughter. Godparents should be mentors to children and help them develop spiritually. Therefore, take this seriously.
An offer to be godparents is a sign that you have been recognized as worthy of raising a new person who has just been born in Christian morality. This means that future parents have no doubt about your religiosity. But increasingly, the number of godparents for one child becomes between parents and the church. How many should a husband and wife have for one child? How many spiritual parents can a person have?
The question of whether a husband and wife can be godparents at the same time torments the minds of Orthodox people and causes debate even in religious forums and in disputes between priests. According to the Orthodox canon, in order for the ritual to be considered perfect according to all the rules, one perceptive spiritual parent is enough - for male infants this should be the godfather, and for girls - the godmother, respectively. There does not have to be a second godfather, this is only at the request of the parents.
Orthodox priests argue heatedly on this topic. Definitely, only the mother and father of the child cannot be godparents. From the point of view of opponents of the godparents of the husband and wife being in a real marriage, the spouses after marriage are a single whole, and if both of them are godparents, this is wrong. But this cannot become an obstacle for them in baptizing different children from the same family. Supporters of what can be godparents appeal to the fact that he introduced clarifications in the decree of December 31, 1837. They stated that according to the Trebnik, one godparent is enough, depending on the gender of the godson, that is, there is no reason to consider godparents as people who are in some kind of spiritual relationship and therefore prohibit them from marrying each other.
The answer to the question of whether a husband and wife can be godparents can be formulated as follows. If their marriage was registered only in the registry office and was not consecrated by the church, then most likely the priest Orthodox Church will not object to the spouses both becoming recipients at baptism, because according to the laws of the church, their marriage is not sealed in heaven. The same applies to the following cases when it is possible to be spiritual parents - the godparents of the husband and wife can enter into their marriage after and will still remain godparents.
Modern parents, of course, want to be close to their godson’s family, and choose their godchildren from among friends or relatives. Regular quantity Godparents during the ceremony are two people of different sexes. Rarely does anyone get by with just one godfather. The reason for this lies not so much in the spiritual as in the material aspect. Christenings impose on spiritual parents not only religious and educational responsibilities, but also material ones - for example, they must congratulate the spiritual child on holidays, and therefore give gifts. And, of course, it is believed that the more successful the godfather or godmother, the better for the child.
In the outback, with the question of whether a husband and wife can be godparents, the situation is even simpler. Often in villages you can even encounter the tradition of four or more godfathers. There they choose two or four married couples, and they don’t bother at all with such questions - whether this is right or wrong, from the point of view of religion. But if issues of Orthodoxy are important to you, it is better, of course, to consult with a priest and then choose godparents. And it’s best to choose them not according to your wallet, but according to your heart. Truly believing people, even without being godparents according to the ritual, will always support your child in difficult times and guide him on the right path, but whether they will be husband and wife is not so important. For your child, both the godparent's spouse will automatically be the godparent.
