Many older women continue to be sexually active even after menopause. Moreover, most of them are satisfied with their intimate experience, are married or have a regular partner.

A large-scale survey commissioned by the British government has found that post-menopausal women are still interested in sex. Thus, half of the 27,000 respondents aged 50-79 said that Last year had sex at least once, and among married women or women with a regular partner, 70% reported this.

Among respondents who were dissatisfied with their sex life, 57% complained about a lack of sex, and only 8% would like to do it less often. As scientists expected, sexual activity decreases with age. The main reasons for stopping active sexual activity are usually the loss of a partner, poor health or poor quality of life.

“This work is the first to show that women's sexual desire does not necessarily decrease with age. We knew that women become less sexually active, mainly due to the loss of a partner, but we thought that they gave up sex without regret. In fact, they continue to be interested in sexual activity,” experts say.

Among the main factors that negatively affect the sexual activity of women, we can distinguish age, low income, lack of a sexual partner, obesity, heart health problems, depression and arthritis.

Related news:

The old saying says that we are only as old as we feel. If you believe in your feelings, women age already at the age of 29, but men believe that they are young in body and soul, up to 58 years.

Ksyusha Petrova

“Survival age” and the stone penis

Naturally, sex at 70 is not the same as at 20 - primarily because normal age-related changes occur with the body. At the age of 45–55, women go through a menopause: within a few years, the ovaries stop producing eggs and hormonal changes in the body occur, which are often accompanied by unpleasant symptoms, such as “hot flashes” (when it suddenly becomes hot and the face begins to “burn”), mood swings, weakness, changes in skin texture, body proportions, the appearance of noticeable wrinkles. Many women note a decrease in libido, vaginal dryness and discomfort during penetration - due to a decrease in the amount of estrogen throughout the body, the vaginal walls become thinner and more sensitive, and less lubricant is secreted. Not all women feel Negative influence menopause, but many report depression, anxiety and emotional instability, much like during PMS (imagine PMS lasting several years!).

By the age of 50, an important stress factor, the fear of unplanned pregnancy, disappears, but the ability to have orgasms remains.

But there is good news: despite all the difficulties associated with hormonal changes, some women note that after menopause their sex life has become better, because by the age of 50, an important stress factor - the fear of an unplanned pregnancy - disappears, and the opportunity to have orgasms remains. Many unpleasant symptoms of menopause can be alleviated - including through sex: we already know how oxytocin, produced during orgasm, is useful, and how sexual arousal and release act on the body.

Men also go through age-related changes - not as dramatic as women's, but no less exciting. By analogy with menopause, the processes occurring in the male body are called andropause - this is not a completely correct term, since men do not lose their ability to reproduce, but experience a gradual decrease in testosterone production. Every fifth man experiences erectile dysfunction during his life. Previously it was believed that this disorder was associated with age-related changes, but now doctors are confident that it is caused by medical or psychological factors: erectile dysfunction is much more common in men with diabetes, cardiovascular and neurological diseases, it is also associated with lifestyle (for example, the habit of alcohol and cigarettes) and psychological state - Like women, many men feel less attractive in adulthood, and erectile dysfunction makes them question their “manhood,” which is collectively associated with a rock-hard penis.

On the screen, you still hardly see a bed scene or a close-up with a kiss of people over 60

The level of attraction, the ability to excite and orgasm in both men and women is affected not only by diseases, but also by the drugs with which they are treated. This is not as scary as it seems: most common problems can be solved by contacting a regular therapist, psychotherapist, sexologist or endocrinologist who will help you choose hormone replacement therapy. In adulthood, there are many advantages that apply to sex: by the age of 50–60, people begin to better understand what they like, listen to their body and take care of it, get rid of stereotypes and unrealistic expectations.

Partners who have lived together for a long time finally cease to be shy of each other - besides, if adult children have safely moved into their homes, parents finally have personal space and more time for each other. Single people can be sexually active too - it's harder for them to get acquainted with partners of their own age than 20-year-olds, but no one has canceled masturbation and sex toys (especially since things like vaginal balls and simulators help keep the muscles of the small pelvis in good shape, so Women after menopause will find them very useful). It turns out that there are no objective physiological reasons to stop having sex at 45 or 60 - cultural attitudes are primarily to blame for the fact that many voluntarily give up sexual activity in adulthood.

Pop culture and eternal youth

Intimate relationships in adulthood is a topic that Mass culture ignores or ridicules: sexually active older people are spoken of either in the spirit of “gray hair, devil in the rib,” as if they are behaving indecently, or ironically and affectionately, as if people over 60 are capable of love and experience pleasure, there is something extraordinary and inspiring. “The natural need for bodily contact, tenderness, the manifestation of sympathy and love is buried behind conversations about decent behavior, age characteristics, and special spirituality of older age. This is ageism, or total discrimination of a person based on age,” says sociologist Dmitry Rogozin.

Older people are already underrepresented in popular culture, and romantic and sensual relationships between them are rarely shown: although there has been a slight shift towards positive portrayals of old age in cinema, you still hardly see a sex scene or close-up of older people kissing on screen 60. One such exception is the Berlin Film Festival-winning film 45 Years, in which Charlotte Rampling and Tom Courtenay play spouses who have lived together for almost half a century. The film differs from other stories about a family crisis not only in that it contains a realistic sex scene, but also in that the intimate relationship of an elderly couple is shown outside of a comedic context. “It was funny and strange to watch how, during the screenings, an awkward silence suddenly arose in the auditorium; the public is sure that Charlotte’s heroine, Kate, will now close the door to the bedroom behind her, and the episode will end there. But that’s not the case - we continue to film in the bedroom,” said the director of the film, Andrew Hay, after the premiere. “The fact that, as people get older, people stop being sexually attracted to each other, for me, a 42-year-old man, is a very sad circumstance.”

In most Hollywood films, "those who are over" sex appears only as an occasion for jokes: in box office hits like "The Marigold Hotel. The best of the exotic ”all sexual scenes remain behind the scenes, and in those films where there are still sex scenes with elderly people, the attention of the audience is focused on comical difficulties, like a crunching back at the wrong time or the need to run to the kitchen for Viagra. There is also a gender imbalance: scenes involving mature men and much younger women are common, and vice versa - almost never. 70-year-old men often play 50-year-olds, and the situation is reversed with women: however, even if the age of the actress corresponds to that prescribed in the script, it is unlikely that real women will associate themselves with superstars like Charlotte Rampling or Meryl Streep.

“45+” and Russian pensioners

It would be dishonest to compare Russian pensioners with Western ones without mentioning the differences in their standard of living: most Russians over 60 live, to put it mildly, poorly, and pressing problems like a lack of medicine or food clearly push problems with sex into the background. It’s hard to imagine that Russian women over 70 are as happy with a new vibrator as the heroine of the series “” - primarily because such a vibrator costs as much as three pensions. The same can be said about consultations with a sexologist, and about psychotherapy, and even about buying condoms - all this is available to a narrow layer of more or less wealthy pensioners. However, the main problem remains ageism and a culture of shame in which older people are denied sexuality and physicality in general.

From the USSR we inherited the belief that in youth you can have a little fun, and then “you have to raise your children” and no longer have time for sex - after the birth of grandchildren, sex should completely disappear by itself. According to surveys of Russian pensioners, it becomes clear that people give up physical intimacy at the age of 45–55 voluntarily, without serious reasons - simply because it is customary. There are many lonely people in the older generation, especially women - the difference in life expectancy also affects, and the fact that new relationships “at the end of life” (although the “sundown” can take 20 or 30 years) is unusual and scary to start.

“Is it possible to live as brightly at the age of 45+ as in your youth? Today, a woman is even capable of this! ”, - thematic sites cheerfully declare, deftly ignoring the fact that 45 is not old at all. Relationships, falling in love and sex are for the young, thin and healthy, therefore any manifestations of sexuality and eroticism at an older age (45–60 years are considered the “older age” for sex in Russia) are surrounded by an aura of shame. Nevertheless, Russians over 60 have sex - and, as RANEPA sociologists have found out, they are even ready to talk about it. The head of the study, Dmitry Rogozin, notes that women are much more willing and calmer to talk about relationships and intimacy: apparently, this is due to the fact that all romantic topics are labeled as “female”, and it is “undignified” for men to discuss such topics, so the language for talking about sex is they were developed at the level of bragging in front of the boys. It is important to understand that not only glamorous slender old women like Buddy Winkle- the most ordinary elderly people also have an intimate life, those who have never gone online in their lives, live in a small town, watch talk shows on Channel One and embody other stereotypes about old age in Russia.

Life hacks and security

If you search for “sex and older people” you will get a bunch of links to porn. In an English-language search, porn also comes up, but the situation is generally better: for the query “sex seniors”, links appear to lifestyle publications for older people with advice, safety rules, dating forums and personal stories. Western doctors and sexuality researchers are confident that there is nothing abnormal in the intimate life of older people, but they emphasize the need for sex education: not everyone knows that after menopause, condoms are also needed - pregnancy certainly will not occur, but you can easily pick up an infection.

We once wrote that an erect penis is not necessary for sex - the same idea is promoted by specialists who advise sexually active pensioners. Mature age is the time to reconsider your attitude towards intimacy in principle and expand your sexual practices: changes in the body and some diseases do not always make it possible to have sex in the same way as in youth, but they turn on the imagination and force you to try new things. Massage, oral sex, long foreplay, hugs and touches - these and many other sexual practices are available to even the oldest couples.

It is also recognized for residents of nursing homes - in progressive institutions, older people are given the opportunity to have privacy and are given free condoms, and established couples can live together. This is not a call for depravity, but respect: old people are often treated like helpless children, even if everything is in order with their intellect, and they are deprived of their last shreds of independence.

If the idea of sex at 80 still seems ridiculous to you, you may remember that in Pushkin's times a 25-year-old woman was considered a respectable lady, and a 50-year-old woman was considered an ancient crone, but average duration Life and ideas about old age have changed a lot since then. If modern Russian pensioners are primarily Soviet people who are not used to talking about sex, then in the West, 80-year-olds are those who hung out at Woodstock, lived in hippie communes, participated in the Stonewall riots, the May 1968 demonstrations and the first gay -parades - or at least followed these events in the news. Those who were sexually active in their youth do not want to stop because of someone’s prejudices - so we can expect even more from the current generation of emancipation and sex education.

Photos: Land of Women, Peter Rommel Productions, Fabula

Older women prefer younger men...
Perhaps today you have begun to pay more attention to couples where an older woman is in a relationship with her younger partner. You yourself know how society treats such acquaintances. For me, this is hypocrisy and double standards. Why, then, this respectable society closes its eyes and considers it in the order of things when a crumpled, but packed old man takes a girl who is fit for his daughter or even granddaughter as his wife.

Let's now think about why older women prefer younger men?

Have you ever thought about the fact that even an elderly lady can fall in love. As they say, "you can't command love" and now, we are already seeing a picture of how this very love makes a seemingly already experienced woman do strange things.

The first thing that comes to mind is that
.

Between the ages of 18 and 27, guys reach their sexual peak, while women reach the same peak between the ages of 35 and 45. And here we see a picture that by the age of 40+ men are less eager to show off in bed, they are already tired of everything, everything is predictable, and in the end they are lazy, their priorities are already different (doctors say that this is somehow connected with a decrease in testosterone) . Well, but our young stallions kick with their hooves, and as they say, “throw themselves at everything that moves,” which means that our elderly heroines in their person find themselves in bed.

Young men tend to look up to older women and appreciate them. They charm them with compliments, well, as you know, everything women love compliments, especially if it’s all presented correctly.

Young guys are more open, for older women it’s like a breath of fresh air.

Well, we are missing out on equally important attractive factors, such as: young and strong bodies, sparkling eyes and a smile, which gives their relationship more romantic shades. Here our elderly hero loses on all counts with his, and sparkling... . And what are his boring thoughts about the meaning of life and eternal discontent and laziness worth?

The other side of the coin.

Many older ladies throw themselves at young men, perhaps because they want to prove, both to themselves and to others, that they are still young enough and can attract the attention of younger individuals to their person.

After many years of marriage, when she does not receive attention from her husband, when her children are already grown-up and living independently, she feels the need to prove to herself that she is still desirable to someone.

Another reason why older women prefer younger men.

Don't you think that we are all children at heart, regardless of age?

And this is probably the reason that makes older women, but young souls, "break away" - remember your youth !
These include noisy parties, long trips or hikes, extravagant outfits on the verge of a foul, or... the desire to stay overnight with a young man.

Young men make older women feel younger.

Moreover, according to my observations, modern women those aged 40+ today look younger than their peers in their 40s and 50s.

Perhaps another factor pushing older women into relationships with younger men is satisfying their maternal instincts. The desire to educate and dictate your terms. This manifests itself especially in women who have been married for a long time to a spouse who suppressed her desires and desires to express herself.

Many women from the former USSR feel that by the age of 50 their lives are already over.

It is no secret that current mass culture is a culture that fetishizes youth and beauty. But times are not the same, comrades!
Look at 40, 50, 60... successful women today. Over the past half century, the social and financial status of women has changed significantly. Today women feel much more confident and independent than they did before.

Today the show has become popular in the west "Age of Love" featuring 20 year old young girls - "Kittens" and more mature ones - "Cougars" 40 year old women. Women compete for the grand prize - love 30 year old tennis star Mark Philippoussis. After NBC aired this show, literally within a couple of days its ratings went through the roof!

How many times do you have to repeat the hackneyed phrase that "Age is not about how old you are, but about how you feel." There are many young women who are already old women at heart, and vice versa.

At any age, you can start living anew. The age difference should not be a criterion for those who like another person, although he is younger than you.

Photo © iStockphoto.com © Fotolia.com
Photo: wikipedia.org

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The truth about intimate relationships among older people

Intimate relationships are an important element in the life of every person at any age. However, there is an opinion in society that sex is the lot of the young, and upon reaching a certain age, interest in this activity is lost and the need for it disappears. But all this is nothing more than a myth - even people of advanced age continue to enjoy all the delights of intimacy with their partner. In this article we will debunk the most popular myths regarding sex in old age.

Elderly people don't have sex

Undoubtedly, the quality of life leads to the fact that the older a person gets, the weaker his health becomes. All this directly affects libido, which is often no longer as pronounced as at 18-20 years old. Older men begin to experience problems with erections, but this is not a reason to forget about sex. Firstly, fortunately, not everyone experiences these problems, and secondly, there is always the opportunity to seek help from a specialist who will select effective treatment and prescribe the necessary medications.

Over time, the need for sex is lost

In a long-term relationship, the spark begins to fade over time and passion becomes less and less, and intimate life moves from the foreground to the very background. But there are many examples of the opposite, when over the years of marriage, neither the passion, nor the spark, nor the desire of the partner not only goes away, but flares up with renewed vigor. Couples both after 40 and after 60 can begin a new honeymoon.

In general, it has been noticed that people who have sex in their lives, and not only in their youth, are much happier in life than those who lack it. Recent studies prove this - in 60% of cases, married couples over 65 years of age who have sex more than twice a month confirmed that they are very happy and satisfied with their lives. 80% of respondents assured that, among other things, they were satisfied with their marriage. But of those older respondents who do not have intimate relationships, only 40% expressed satisfaction with the quality of their life.

Sex in older people is always accompanied by pain

Age-related changes in female body differ from men's, the problems that ladies face during intimacy are also different. Menopause leads to the fact that during sex a woman may experience discomfort and pain, which is directly related to hormonal changes in the body, causing dry mucous membranes.

You can quickly solve this problem with the help of a lubricant, which is sold in any pharmacy. You can also contact a gynecologist who will tell you how to approach the solution of the problem in a comprehensive manner. In any case, pain and discomfort will disappear, but pleasure will remain.

If problems with sex arise due to pain in the joints, back or other place, you can talk with your partner about your problem and choose the most suitable positions. You can use a pillow as support, but in the most severe cases, painkillers are used. Of course, it is better to consult a doctor before doing this.

The older a person gets, the less likely it is to increase libido

When libido and sexual desires decline with age, this is quite natural. And if this happens at the same speed as the partner, then problems in intimate life do not arise. But if your spouse is okay with this, and your own condition begins to worry you, then you can’t leave it to chance. A specialist will help you find out the cause of the problem. Talk to your doctor; perhaps the decrease in libido is due to an illness that prevents you from enjoying intimacy.

Remember that the state of health directly affects the sexual life. Active people who have good physical health are satisfied with the quality of their sex life, which cannot be said about those who suffer from various problems. The cause of decreased sexual desire can be diseases such as hormonal imbalance, vascular pathologies, and uncontrolled diabetes. Even simply taking certain medications can affect libido levels, so you may need to review and change the medications you are taking, but this should only be done with the permission of your doctor.

Sex is dangerous in old age

Movies quite often show scenes where an older man has an accident during sex. heart attack, and sometimes intimacy and ends in death. This creates fear in people and the idea that sex at an advanced age is dangerous. This is especially troubling for patients with cardiovascular pathologies.

But instead of protecting yourself from any physical activity, including sex, you just need to visit a doctor who will tell you in detail about what is threatening and what is completely safe for your life. If you have doubts about the competence of a doctor, it is better to consult several. Only in the most rare cases can sex cause serious problems other than joint and muscle pain. Studies conducted on this topic show exactly the opposite results - sexual activity in old age helps improve both mental and physical health.

Sex in youth is much better and brighter

Another common misconception - many believe that all the delights of life are concentrated only in youth, and that sex at this time is much better. And in old age, everything goes sluggishly and boringly, there is no passion and romance, little turns on. But no! Over time, many find that the most best moments with a partner, it turns out, were only ahead. Of course, one can indulge in memories of how athletic they once were, how beautiful the body was, but this is not all that makes sex bright and exciting. The quality of an intimate life is directly proportional to the quality of the relationship - the closer the partners are spiritually, the more mutual understanding they have, the more love - the more pleasure sex brings.

Just imagine, the results of surveys of women around the age of 67 showed that 60% of them are very satisfied with their intimate life, and 2/3 of this number also regularly experience orgasms. And one more interesting proven fact - the older a woman becomes, the easier and faster she reaches the peak of sexual pleasure.

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