Sex in a relationship is important, as are emotional conversations, romance, and joint resolution of everyday issues. But sometimes problems arise in relationships, which is why intimate life collapses in the first place. In this article we will tell you how to persuade your wife to have sex, why a beloved and once passionate woman avoids intimacy and refuses it.
Introduction
The main problem in a relationship, why a woman loses all interest in sex, is dissatisfaction with sex. Unlike men, who can immediately tell whether they feel pleasant or not during intercourse, representatives of the fair sex sometimes manage to deceive their partner, imitating pleasure and orgasm. But the game of one goal cannot continue for long, because the woman begins to feel inferior and dissatisfied.
Sex allows you to throw out accumulated energy, relax and protect yourself from worldly worries, but in most cases, girls just have to endure, please their husband, but receive nothing in return.
Serious problem
When a husband and wife have problems in bed, they must be resolved immediately, because this is evidence that the marriage is beginning to collapse. Of course, sex is not the main thing, but intimate life is important in a relationship. Firstly, because this is a way to trust each other, and the absence of tenderness, caresses and touches indicates that a thick wall arises between husband and wife that cannot be broken through. Secondly, sex life is a great way to get away from all everyday problems, relax and enjoy each other’s warmth. In other words, simple coitus should not overshadow romance, conversations, joint activities and attention, but at the same time it should not be forgotten or ignored.
Main reasons
- Problems between husband and wife arise when a representative of the fair sex feels unsatisfied. In this case, both may be to blame. The husband, because he does not seek to give pleasure to his beloved, but only demands attention to himself. The wife, because she doesn’t want to become more feminine and sexy, choosing old grandmother’s leggings, washed underwear and stretched T-shirts that tell a treacherous story about what the girl cooked for dinner.
- Your wife is really tired. Men tirelessly like to repeat that the 21st century has removed all obligations from a woman, and all that remains for her is to sit in in social networks and enjoy a soft sofa. But even the presence of a dishwasher and washing machine does not save a girl from raising children, preparing dishes, solving everyday issues, because most men limit their activities only to work and reproaches that the fair sex has nothing to get tired of.
- When you and the girl first met, the relationship between you flared up with a bright flame, and after some time the fire began to fade. What's the matter? You may no longer excite your loved one. Analyze how your lifestyle has changed, appearance and a zest for life. If a few years ago you couldn’t live a day without training, you could stay up at night, rave about your dream, make it come true, but now, perhaps, you have acquired a small beer belly, and all that interests you is going to the bar, computer games and lazy housework. This does not excite women, because a relationship is when a couple develops together, and if this does not happen, then one will definitely begin to suffer.
In fact, there are many reasons why a wife refuses sex. This could be the birth of a child, when the new mother cannot even think about intimacy on a psychological level, as well as a serious quarrel or betrayal, or the appearance of a third person in the relationship. But one thing is clear: when excuses or reproaches appear that men only need sex, then it’s time to seriously understand the problems, because no career, everyday problems, or financial troubles can interfere with a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
Method 1. Give her romance
Give your loved one an unforgettable evening, surround her with attention and make her the center of a small family celebration so that you both forget about all worldly worries. Sometimes women really miss a surprise candlelit dinner at home, a relaxing massage, or going to a concert of her favorite band.
You should not expect that simple romantic music will liberate your loved one, especially after long absence sex. You may not be able to get what you want because the woman will only begin to relax. To rekindle the fire of passion, it is necessary to surround him with attention and care more than once. And this doesn’t sound mercantile or selfish, because many men don’t understand that lack of intimacy is a global problem that affects the deepest corners of your soulmate’s soul.
It is important to understand that you need to arrange a romantic date with your wife at a convenient moment for her: not after a long and exhausting work week, not after a hard day spent with small children, not during illness. Do you want to do something nice? Prepare your wife for a family event in advance: send the children to grandma or hire a nanny, help her quickly cope with all household chores so that your beloved does not think about the abyss of problems in which she gets stuck more and more every day. After such romantic music, a fragrant dinner, a clean apartment, well-groomed children, a pleasant and the right gift will do their job.
Method 2. Have a heart-to-heart talk
Usually the problem of lack of sex arises in people who have crossed the 35-year mark. In such cases, a man may hear that a woman’s career and children are now more important, but not intimacy. In most cases, the answer to this problem is that the woman is simply no longer attracted to her husband. At the beginning of the relationship, she was in love, perhaps she believed in an ideal life after marriage and was in a hurry when making any important decisions, but years later the passion passed, and instead came awareness.
In this case, the couple should have a heart-to-heart talk, without hiding anything from each other. Tired of classic sex? Add colors, these can be toys, exciting lingerie, role-playing games and even threesome sex. Try and experiment, don’t be afraid to trust each other and step over your principles in order to bring back the former fire in the relationship.
Method 3. Auxiliary means
It happens that a couple lacks that cherished spark to re-experience each other’s passion and desire. In this case, an erotic film for two will help. At night, turn on your favorite recording, you can complement the pleasant atmosphere with candles, aroma oils with the scent of patchouli or ylang-ylang, or a hot bath. A gentle massage and a glass of hot wine helps to relax and put the girl at ease.
Of course, before persuading your wife to have sex in this way, it is necessary to discuss what genre of erotic film should be included. Don't be shy if your loved one likes BDSM or videos with multiple girls.
Method 4. Pay attention to health
As a rule, when a wife begins to look for love and tenderness on the side. But first of all, it is worth understanding the true reasons for such coldness. Often the problem is solved by going to a gynecologist or endocrinologist and prescribing certain medications.
How to persuade a wife to have sex, who refuses not only sex, but also ordinary caresses? Contact a sexologist, undergo a full medical examination, take all the necessary tests and convince your beloved that this is necessary not only for the sake of increasing libido and desire, but also for her physical and psychological health. Usually the reason lies in the endocrine system and gynecology. For example, this may be due to chronic infectious diseases, inflammation of the ovaries, cysts and neoplasms, hormonal imbalance. Of course, many tests are carried out only for a fee, but your wife’s body will thank you for the help and support provided.
Method 5. Psychological support
Before you learn how to persuade your wife to have sex, you need to understand why your beloved refuses sex. The reason may be psychological and emotional problems that have disturbed the peace of mind of the fair sex.
Find out what is bothering your loved one. Perhaps she has complexes about her appearance and is embarrassed to go to the gym, or is worried about financial troubles in the family, lack of attention from her husband and children, due to a conflict at work or pressure from the director.
Method 6. Psychological help
If talking doesn’t help, as do manipulations, quarrels and reproaches, then it’s time to contact a family psychologist. There are now enough specialists, especially qualified ones, to get to the truth and eradicate the problem.
As mentioned above, sometimes the refusal to have sex hides not just a revision of values and a reference to fatigue, but a much more serious problem. After the first sessions, the psychologist will be able to detect the problem and suggest ways to solve it. But even here it is very important that the husband and wife unite and become one. For a specialist to really help, a couple needs to open their souls without embarrassment, entrusting even their most intimate secrets and emotional experiences to a stranger. And when solutions are found, the husband and wife must make every effort to return the former passion to the relationship.
Method 7. Eternal conflicts
Many men wonder how to persuade their wife to have sex after a quarrel. The answer is simple: no need to persuade. If you feel guilty, then first of all you should apologize, both mentally and sensually.
In most cases, a woman refuses sex because she simply lacks affection. Men, as a rule, are ready to attack their spouse, avoiding gentle touches, passionate kisses, languid glances. Do you want to get the coveted night? Turn on romantic music, start with a hug and take your time. You must completely relax both yourself and the woman. Feel your bodies, breath, voice, vibrations.
Important information
Women who so often reproach their men must accept one truth: sex is not only a need of the body, not an exercise to maintain health, not the whim of the chosen one, and certainly not his concern. Sex is an important element of relationships, as are affection, tenderness, and romance. Without intimacy, which can mean not only intercourse, but also quiet heart-to-heart conversations for many hours, a strong family cannot be built.
When a woman refuses a man, these are the first alarm bells that some problems have arisen. Perhaps it is worth reconsidering your attitude towards each other, towards yourself, everyday life, children, becoming less conservative and getting rid of hypocrisy in order to regain your former passion.
People have different attitudes towards anal sex. Some consider it unhygienic, some are convinced that this type of intimacy is perversion, some are afraid of it, and some take it as one of the ways to diversify their intimate life. Be that as it may, anal sex exists. And in fact, many people are not at all against doing it. But not everyone knows how to make sexual intercourse of this kind as painless and enjoyable as possible for both partners. Still, this is not just a kind of intimate position. This is penetration through the anus, the consequences of which are unpredictable. It can lead to injury to a woman and even cause some estrangement between her and the man in the future. How can you protect yourself from these troubles or at least reduce the risk of their occurrence to a minimum? The main role in solving this issue is played by proper preparation to anal sex.
Features of preparation for anal sex
Women who, in principle, are not averse to trying sex through anal, are usually afraid that they will be hurt when a man penetrates them. They are partly right. At first, a penis entering the narrow passage of a tender butt can really hurt. However, if you carry out good preparation anal sex, this moment will not cause too significant physical discomfort. It begins with hygiene procedures, during which it is better to do an enema. Still, in this type of sex the rectum will be most directly involved, and it can present an unpleasant surprise. In addition, an enema will help relax the muscles of the anus, and the process of preparing anal sex will go faster.
It is advisable to start intimacy in any form with foreplay. In our case this is especially important. A woman needs to relax as much as possible, and for this she needs foreplay. You can drink a little alcohol to relieve muscle and nervous tension, and start caressing. In this case, it is advisable for a man to know that it is better to stimulate his partner with a finger or a sex simulator gently inserted into the anal. Annilingus (caressing the anus with the tongue) is perfect for such a case. If he has no idea about this, he must at least hint to his partner what actions are required of him. Otherwise, everything will go wrong from the very beginning.
To facilitate the insertion of the penis, you need to take care of it when preparing the anal for sex. lubrication. Available for sale special means on water based. You can buy one of these products or use hair gel, or you can take what you have on hand - Vaseline, baby cream, etc. But you should remember that fatty lubricants are not suitable if your partner uses a condom. Because such lubricants increase the likelihood of its rupture. And soap and natural oils They are generally not suitable for preparing anal sex.
In general, during anal sex it is advisable for a man to wear condom Always. Firstly, this will protect both partners from all kinds of infections. Secondly, sexual intercourse of this kind can lead to the formation of microcracks in the anus. Sperm entering them can cause severe burning or irritation. Both of them can hardly be called pleasant.
Before your partner starts inserting the penis, you need to try as hard as possible relax your muscles rectum. To do this, you just need to push a little. The penis is introduced gradually. It is advisable to help your partner with your hand at this time, as he may do it too quickly or at the wrong angle and cause harm. severe pain. If it does appear, there is no need to immediately squeeze the anus. Muscle tension will only increase the pain. It would be better to relax your buttocks as much as possible, push hard while leaning forward, and remove yourself from the penis. The attempt can be repeated again a little later. And in order for it to be more successful, you should first caress each other a little, again prepare the anal for sex and add more lubricant.
It must be said that men with this type of intimacy, becoming very excited, sometimes begin to act too actively. And at the same time they become completely deaf to the requests of a woman who is in pain to stop. In order for her to be able to interrupt sexual intercourse as easily and quickly as possible, she needs to choose the most suitable position for this. In general, positions for anal sex do not have any special features. However, when choosing them, one must take into account the specifics of penetration through the anus.
Anal sex positions
Many of us think that having sex is a simple matter. They say that from time immemorial people have copulated, and no one particularly teaches them the first and subsequent sexual acts. However, this is not quite true. They copulate, but does everyone really enjoy it? Well, with men we go back and forth. What about women? No, not all of them. There are many reasons for this. One of them is an incorrectly chosen pose. But if in ordinary types of sex an incorrect position simply reduces the pleasure of sexual intercourse, then in the case of intimacy through anal it can cause very unpleasant sensations in a girl. Therefore, before preparing for anal sex, this issue should be immediately discussed with your partner. And choose a position that suits both.
What positions are most suitable for sex through the anus?
1. If a man has a rather long penis, it is better to use the following position. The partner lies on her stomach, legs slightly spread. The man lowers himself on her and carefully enters the girl’s anus from above. In this position, his penis penetrates shallowly and does not cause pain to the woman’s anus. Of course, guys don’t always like this situation. But it can be used before moving on to another pose. It is important to prepare your partner for this.
2. This position is suitable for any penis size. The man lies on his side next to the girl, who is in this position, but with her back to him, and inserts his penis into her. This option is good because it is not tiring, allows partners to caress each other with their hands, and the woman has the opportunity to remove her hips if necessary.
3. This position is more suitable for couples who already have experience in anal sex or if the man has a small penis. The partner leans on her elbows and knees. The partner kneels behind the girl, hugs her around the waist and inserts his penis between her buttocks. You should not practice this position if a woman is having anal sex for the first time. In excitement, the partner can press her tightly to him, and it will be difficult to free himself from his embrace.
4. This version of the pose is good because the girl has the opportunity to control the speed of friction and the depth of penetration of the penis. This is what he looks like. The man lies on his back and lowers the woman’s hips onto himself, as if putting her on his penis. She, spreading her legs, sits down and helps him with her hand. And then, when the penis enters the anus to a certain depth, it begins to move.
5. This position is suitable for a passionate girl who wants to get maximum pleasure from anal sex. The woman lies on her back, raises her legs and places them on her partner's shoulders. The man kneels in front of her, leans on his outstretched arms and guides his penis into the woman’s anus.
In principle, each couple decides which position to choose for this type of intimacy in accordance with personal taste preferences. The main thing is to discuss this option when preparing for anal sex for the first time. And then you can experiment, invent, try. In fact, such sexual intercourse is no different from other types of intimacy. Is that preparation for anal sex is somewhat specific. Well, when a woman has a desire to try it, the issue is resolved! It is likely that this type of copulation will bring more pleasure than the traditional one. And for this to happen, it is advisable to follow a few tips.
Tips for anal sex
As we have already said, anal sex is one of the options for sexual intercourse, which, like the others, is aimed at achieving orgasm. Moreover, it is desirable that both partners experience maximum pleasure. Otherwise, it may happen that a man will desire such sex, and a woman will begin to avoid it. And problems will arise in the relationship between them, which may not exist if you adhere to the following tips:
1. For the first sex through the anus, it is better to choose a partner who is experienced in these matters. It will be very good if he has a long, but thin penis. This will reduce the likelihood that a woman will experience significant pain;
2. Anal sex requires foreplay and stimulation of the anus. Therefore, you need to deal with it with someone you trust and with whom you can discuss these issues;
3. Copulation should occur after preliminary lubrication and in the position that is as safe as possible for the woman at the moment. You should not take the choice of position with a new partner lightly, even if you have experience in anal sex. First you need to study each other’s anatomical features at least a little.
If a man has already entered inside and it does not cause any discomfort and is even pleasant for the woman, you can work with as much passion as you want. Let the body do whatever it pleases, and let the consciousness fly to heaven, to pleasure. In order to reach its peak, there is no need to discuss any technical details proximity. It’s better to discuss all this in advance, otherwise detailed instructions will not allow you to relax and feel the beauty of anal sex. Yes, not all women will be satisfied with it in the end. But it's still worth a try!
We can safely admit that not only men expect that a romantic date will continue in the bedroom. However, unlike men, women prepare for such “dates with continuation” as if they were going to conquer Everest.
You can be of any build: if a man has chosen you, then you no longer need to feel complex because of the folds on your sides. But taking care of the quality of body skin is a sacred duty. Smooth, soft and even body skin is one of the most powerful aphrodisiacs for the stronger sex. To achieve the kind of skin that will blow your mind, perform a couple of simple manipulations:
Epilation should be done a day or two before the date. This will give the skin time to calm down if it suddenly experiences any irritation from the intervention.
Immediately before your date, get into the bath and apply a scrub to your face. oil based on dry(!) skin. Thoroughly massage every inch of your beautiful body. Rinse off the scrub.
To moisturize, choose a non-greasy lotion or dry body oil. They do not have a “chemical” taste, are quickly absorbed and do not leave a sticky feeling.
For a special effect, you can choose oil or cream with reflective pigments. This will make your skin glow. But don’t overdo it - it should be light illumination, not full illumination.
Epilator Silk Epil 5 BRAUN; oil-elixir “Transfiguration” Fructis GARNIER; vitamin emulsion with tanning effect SOLEIL NOIR; body scrub Polynesia THALGO; bikini trimmer BRAUN; scented hand cream Amor Sabonete FERNANDA; body lotion with the scent of Touch of Seduction perfume CHRISTINA AGUILERA.
Don't overload your hair with styling products. More than 80% of men have a special fetish - running your hand through a woman’s hair; most likely, yours will also want to touch you in this area. He will not be very pleased to get into the ultra-strong hold gel or feel the slippery fatty oil.
It's better to just wash your hair, apply a heat protection spray and blow dry your hair. You can leave it like that or curl your curls. Depending on the length of your hair and haircut, use a minimum of fixing agents. Choose styling that does not require this.
For volume, use cream or powder. For fixation, use a paste; it is matte and does not stick the hair together. For shine - spray or special dry oil, which should be applied only to individual strands or ends. For texture - salt spray.
Today, every second fragrance has lightweight analogues. This could be a hair spray, a solid perfume, or a fragrant veil. They impart a light aroma that follows you in a thin trail, but does not overwhelm you.
Be careful with solid perfumes. They have a very specific taste. No, we don’t think that you or your counterpart will try them. But imagine a situation where you applied them to your neck, for example, or to your décolleté, and a man wants to kiss you in this very place.
The ideal place to apply perfume is the area behind the ears, wrists, hairline at the back of the head, hairline at the temples.
It is better to choose aromas that are not harsh, but that stimulate the “appetite”. Aphrodisiac notes include: vanilla, chocolate, ylang-ylang, jasmine, sandalwood, leather, cinnamon, neroli, patchouli, rose, musk and bergamot.
Dry golden oil for body and hair LEONOR GRAYL; Radiance BB cream for face DR.JART+; Idealia eye contour cream VICHY; intensive antiperspirant dry spray with soft atomizer Neo GARNIER.
Stage 2 – plateau stage.
It is characterized by a woman’s desire to accept the penis into the vagina and begin friction. The nature and intensity of frictional movements, their rhythm, direction and depth of insertion of the penis can be different. They are selected and tested by each couple individually.
A common symptom of the plateau stage is subjective feeling maintaining excitement at a certain level for some time without increasing, which is why the phase got its name. However, despite the absence of a feeling of increasing arousal, objective physiological changes continue to go their own way.
During the plateau phase, blood flow continues to the genital organs: labia, vagina, body of the uterus and other pelvic organs.
The vaginal lumen is greatly narrowed due to the overflow of blood into the tissues surrounding it. The narrowing ensures closer contact between the sensitive areas of the vagina and penis, and, consequently, their more active stimulation. Thanks to this, large penis sizes are not a necessary condition woman's satisfaction during sexual intercourse. The physiological narrowing of the vagina allows it to actively respond to contact even with a partner’s small-sized penis. This mechanism is especially effective when the insertion of the penis is carried out in a timely manner, that is, already against the background of the unfolding processes of sexual arousal, a rush of blood to the genitals and the beginning of a narrowing of the vagina.
Knowledge and understanding of the physiology of sexual reactions, correct technique sexual intercourse will avoid many sexual problems.
At the end of the plateau phase, the vaginal muscles tighten and tightly wrap around the penis.
Stage 3 – stage of orgasm, is the culminating phase of sexual intercourse and harmoniously completes all of the above processes with a powerful neuromuscular discharge, already described in the previous chapter.
Stage 4 – resolution stage or reverse development phase.
During it, a feeling of satisfaction and relaxation comes. As noted above, the feeling that arises largely depends not so much on the severity of physiological reactions during orgasm, their quantitative or intense indicators, but on a number of psychological factors: the emotional contact of the partners, the appropriateness of the technique of sexual intercourse, the environment in which it took place, the partner's reactions to the expectations that the woman had.
During the resolution stage, all the changes that occurred in the first three stages disappear quite quickly (within 2-5-10 minutes), the body returns to its original state, all the changes that have occurred to it seem to unwind back - to the starting point, like in a film shot backwards. That is why this phase is called phase of reverse development.
In cases where a woman has reached the level of arousal characteristic of the plateau phase, and she has most of changes corresponding to this stage, and intercourse or other sexual stimulation was stopped before orgasm occurred, genital congestion may persist for a long time. Long-term stagnation of blood in the genitals is accompanied by unpleasant sensations in the lower abdomen. Women may notice a feeling of heaviness, pressure, possible itching in the genitals, and sometimes pain. With these complaints, they often turn to gynecologists, and they are often diagnosed with “chronic inflammation of the appendages”, “itching of the vagina and genitals”, “chronic colpitis”, “endometriosis”, etc. Gynecological treatment of these “diseases” can give a short-term positive effect, but if the true cause of the complaints is not detected and eliminated, they often return again. Sometimes during treatment there is even an increase in pain.
Thus, the widespread opinion that sexual life without orgasm is harmful to a woman’s health is completely justified. However, it would be wrong to say that any sexual intercourse without orgasm is harmful for a woman. It's not like that at all.
Firstly, only those sexual acts that are accompanied by a woman’s pronounced sexual arousal, but do not end in orgasm, are harmful. In those cases when, during sexual intercourse, a woman’s arousal either did not arise at all, or only mild physiological changes occurred in the genital organs, characteristic of the initial stage of arousal, chronic overflow of blood to the genital organs does not occur. Such sexual acts do not cause so-called physiological harm and do not lead to diseases, but they also do not provide sexual release.
Such sexual life can be perceived and assessed in different ways. Women often note its positive aspects: it brings pleasant sensations, creates a general erotic mood, confidence in the strength of family relationships, in the love of a partner, etc. Psycho-emotional satisfaction can largely determine a positive attitude towards sex life and partnerships, even in those cases when intimate contacts are not accompanied by orgasm. In the end, the main thing in intimacy between two people is the expression of feelings for each other, mutual enjoyment of each other and the joy of giving and receiving pleasure. If these conditions are met and there is no frustration (painful feeling of dissatisfaction, disappointment), the significance of orgasm decreases.
Some women are quite indifferent to sexual intercourse that does not lead to orgasm, however, for some it can also cause unpleasant feelings of a psychological nature. You can often hear statements along the following lines: “Why do I need sex life if there are no pleasant sensations!”, “Only men enjoy sexual intercourse,” “Only men need sex life,” “I am an inferior woman, everyone has an orgasm.” , but I don’t,” up to more aggressive ones: “If I don’t have an orgasm, then my partner is not a real man.”
Secondly, it is not any single sexual act that is unfavorable, or even several sexual acts that do not culminate in orgasm. Chronic dissatisfaction brings harm: physiological (leading to chronic stagnation of blood in the genitals), as well as psycho-emotional (due to chronic dissatisfaction - frustration of existing sexual needs).
Readiness for sexual intercourse
In the previous chapter, we discussed that increased arousal during sexual intercourse leads to orgasm and sexual satisfaction. Its appearance and growth is the result of exposure to erotic stimuli. They can be different: olfactory (smells), visual (admiring the beauty of a partner’s body; clothes that emphasize his sexuality, as well as viewing erotic pictures, films), auditory (music, sensual sounds, sighs, interjections, special words, sexually charged conversation) , tactile (tender loving touches; effects on special areas of the body - erogenous zones). However, despite all the differences, they have a common property. Not every woman has the same stimuli and will not always have an erotic effect that causes sexual arousal and a desire for intimacy. Sexual arousal occurs only under the influence of adequate stimuli (stimuli that a particular woman perceives as exciting her) and only against the background of emotional readiness to perceive these stimuli in a sexual way. In the absence of such readiness, even very intense sexual stimulation will not lead to arousal. For example, insertion of the penis into the vagina and intense frictional movements in the absence of readiness for their erotic, sexual perception will not only not cause excitement or at least pleasant sensations, but can often lead to psychological rejection of intimacy. Sometimes women in such situations say: “I have a feeling that something foreign is doing something in the vagina and it’s unclear what and why.”
In this regard, perhaps nothing is as important for the emergence and growth of arousal, and, consequently, for achieving orgasm, as a woman’s readiness for intimate contact.
The period of “sexual preparation” is accompanied by a reorientation of thoughts and feelings in an intimate way, a turn of the sensory and mental processes in a sexual direction. If there is a pronounced emotional readiness, even ordinary touches to any part of the body, not to mention the most sensitive erogenous zones, can be perceived as powerful sexual stimuli. The whole body becomes an erogenous zone. A woman can feel strong arousal from touching her fingers, the occipital region and other parts of the body, which in another situation that does not have an intimate connotation are completely indifferent.
How is psycho-emotional readiness for intimate contact formed? What does it depend on?
First of all, it depends on the general emotional mood, on the content of thoughts with which a woman approaches the point where intimate contact begins. Even before the start of sexual stimulation, a kind of “computer” begins to work in a woman’s head, often regardless of her consciousness and desire, which instantly evaluates a number of parameters.
It takes into account the desirability and appropriateness of sexual contact at a given moment and in a given setting, the emotional attitude towards the partner, his known or expected personal and sexual qualities, the desirability and appropriateness of sexual contact with this particular partner.
The previous sexual experience must be assessed: how pleasant or unpleasant it was, how much the present situation or the present prospective partner corresponds to that past situation and that past partner with whom past pleasant or unpleasant sensations arose.
The attitude of others, real and sometimes absent or even dead, to the upcoming sexual contact is assessed. Thoughts may flash through your head: “What would mom say if she knew,” “Nothing good can happen anyway,” “I’m being used,” “Nothing will work out for me anyway,” “Nothing will work out for him anyway.” “,” “If he loves me, he shouldn’t do this (or vice versa, “should do it differently”),” etc.
The assessment of this entire variety of parameters occurs instantly. Based on it, the brain, often unconsciously, produces a result, makes a “decision” - whether or not to respond to the current erotic stimulus, “to be or not to be” sexual arousal. This solution seems to switch the toggle switch to the desired position.
If “to be”, then impacts on erogenous zones cause acute sexual sensations. The woman becomes involved in the process of arousal and becomes more sensitive.
If the decision is made “not to be sexually aroused,” even very intense and varied sexual stimulation will be perceived as indifferent, or unnecessary, or irritating, or even painful. In a situation not related to intimate communication, which does not have a sexual connotation for the patient, the impact on the erogenous zones will not cause sexual sensations. A simple example: for the vast majority of women, during a gynecological examination, the impact on sensitive erogenous zones causes sensations that are very far from sexual.
Approximately the same state of “asexuality” can arise if sexual intercourse is performed at the wrong time or in the wrong environment, when thoughts are preoccupied with problems, when intimate intimacy does not proceed or is planned the way the woman wants, not with who she wants, etc. d. It is difficult to expect that immediately after thoughtfully reading professional literature, or fiction, but not related to the sphere of relationships between men and women, after complex accounting calculations, preparing homework with a child or putting him to bed, a woman will immediately be in the mood for intimacy. Reorientation takes time and some effort. And, of course, understanding by both the woman and the partner of the need for this time and the need for certain actions to create an erotic context.
Often, during conversations with women, one hears complaints about the lack of mood for sexual contact at the time when they go to bed with their spouse. When we begin to figure out the situation, it turns out that until the last minute the woman is either doing household chores, or finishing some work, or reading a book (not of erotic content), or dealing with the children, etc. By the time the partners get together , a man is already internally ready for intimacy and, after an extremely short, formal foreplay, begins sexual intercourse. At this time, the woman still cannot disconnect from her previous affairs. It is not surprising that with such constant sexual practice, orgasm is not achieved and sexual desire does not arise.
It is perhaps worth giving a somewhat grotesque example, which very clearly demonstrates the results of a discrepancy in the degree of readiness of partners to begin sexual intercourse.
A woman approached my colleague with complaints about problems in her sex life. Her husband, a creative and excitable man, often experienced attacks of sexual desire in the full sense of the word. He could run home from work for a short while (fortunately, the work was 5-10 minutes from home) and quickly persuade her to have sexual intercourse. Sometimes at home, suddenly, for example, during dinner, he would put everything aside and literally attack his wife, while she did not have any sexual thoughts. The woman experienced severe discomfort because, as a rule, she was not ready for such sudden sexual intercourse, and by the time it was over, arousal was just beginning to appear. This caused frustration after sexual intercourse. The woman’s sexual desire was quite pronounced; in other situations she could become well aroused and experience an orgasm. However, after a certain period of time, against the background of frustration, she began to notice that arousal ceased to occur even with less sudden sexual intercourse, and unpleasant sensations began to appear.
It happens that the need to prepare for sexual intercourse causes internal resistance in women and men. There are false sexual beliefs according to which it is believed that if partners love each other and are sexually attractive enough to each other, then sexual attraction should arise on its own, spontaneously. It is also believed that real sexual intercourse, truly “correct” sexual intercourse, which is an expression of true love and desire, should take place spontaneously, without any preparation.
This opinion is completely wrong. Any sexual act requires preparation, it can be conscious, it can be unconscious, but it should still be there. And the most important preparation is to revive the memory of past pleasant experiences of sexual relations. If there is no such experience, or worse, there is an unpleasant experience of sexual relations, waiting for the “spontaneous” occurrence of arousal and its smooth “spontaneous” increase until orgasm usually ends in failure.
Obtaining practical experience of sexual reactions and satisfactory intimate relationships may require some work and effort. And most importantly - desires. Fantasies, daydreams, imagining various life situations.
Sometimes women dealing with sexual problems have inflated desires to receive a “magic pill” from a sexologist, recommendations that will immediately solve all their difficulties, or the hope that there is a way that will immediately, without their own efforts and guarantee the emergence of desire at any time and achieving orgasm during any sexual intercourse. It must be said frankly that this is impossible in the sexual sphere. A similar example can be given from the creative sphere. A ballerina, before going on stage and performing her dance, the dance of love and high eroticism, has been doing the most difficult physical exercises for many years, repeating and honing completely non-erotic movements over and over again, and only then they create a magical, deeply sensual dance pattern. A similar situation occurs in sexual life, which largely consists of creativity.
A woman’s lack of a quickly and spontaneously arising sexual desire in the right situation and a guaranteed orgasm does not mean that the partners are not sexually suitable for each other or that she is frigid. It is quite possible that the matter is simply a lack of preparation for sexual intercourse, a reluctance to make any efforts to achieve what you want, or the sexual incompetence of at least one of the partners.
Speaking about the desire for spontaneity, it should be said that everyone has a choice. Either a fruitless wait for the “spontaneous” emergence of desire, which should arise on its own, or be bestowed by someone from above, a doctor, a “real man”, at the sight of whom women begin to tremble, etc. This supposed life scenario is called: “waiting by the sea good weather." Another way is sexual activity, collecting bits and pieces of positive experience in intimate relationships, discussing with your partner the desires, opportunities and difficulties of each, trying to synchronize your own and your partner’s sexual reactions. And then sexual satisfaction will be the inevitable result.
Here's an example:
A married couple sought help after 5 years of marriage due to the wife's dissatisfaction. The wife, let's call her Marina, said that this was her first marriage and first sexual partner. I married for love, my relationship with my husband is good. I experienced orgasm for the first time after 2 years of sexual activity. Since then, once every 3-4 months, if she puts in a lot of effort, she can achieve orgasm in an active position on top. She also noticed that to achieve orgasm she needed intercourse lasting 5–6 minutes, and her partner average duration sexual intercourse – 2–3 minutes. In this regard, in most cases, during sexual intercourse, one does not have time to experience an orgasm, even though one tries. Therefore, there is not always a desire to make efforts. She has no experience of masturbation, her husband also does not use additional stimulation of the clitoris during intimate contact, they consider this unnatural. When discussing the situation of preparing for intimate contact, it turned out that the couple live in the same room with a 3-year-old child, so sexual activity occurs only after he falls asleep. This usually happens late, at about 24 hours, since traditionally the mother puts him to bed after the nanny leaves at 22 hours. By this time, the husband already wants to sleep (he is a morning person), sexual intercourse is carried out quickly, there is no foreplay or other preparation for sexual intercourse. Sexual intercourse begins when the husband already has an erection, and Marina’s thoughts are still occupied with housework and she has not had time to change her mind. As a result, by the end of sexual intercourse, Marina is just beginning to develop arousal, but cannot achieve orgasm.
This is a fairly common case of disharmonious sexual relationships. A woman is able to experience orgasm and even knows what is needed for this, but the spouses cannot synchronize their sexual reactions. The duration of the husband’s sexual intercourse cannot be called too short, and the wife, in fact, did not need very long sexual intercourse to achieve orgasm. A discrepancy of 2 minutes can be easily eliminated if certain conditions are met. Firstly, review the daily routine, put the child to bed earlier and begin intimate contacts earlier. Secondly, erotic foreplay before sexual intercourse can significantly shorten the frictional period necessary to achieve orgasm. Thirdly, more active behavior of the wife during foreplay and sexual intercourse will speed up the solution to the problem.
What determines a woman's ability to experience orgasm?
A feature of female sexuality is the instability of orgasmic function.
Female sexuality develops and is realized according to its own laws, which are somewhat different from those according to which male sexuality is realized. First of all, this concerns orgasm. The female orgasm has some peculiarities.
Firstly, this is the time of its appearance. Men begin to experience orgasm from the first ejaculation. Orgasm and ejaculation are usually inseparable. For women, things are a little different. The formation of orgasmic function is very relatively related to the period of puberty. The onset of the first menstruation (menarche) is by no means a sign of the emergence of the ability to feel orgasm. Some girls may experience orgasm before menarche, but more often than not, the end of puberty does not mean that the brain structures responsible for orgasm have matured. The process of “additional formation” of the orgasmic function ends later, sometimes much later. Impact on erogenous zones during intimate caresses, their stimulation during sexual intercourse greatly accelerates this process. Against the backdrop of regular sexual activity, the ability to experience orgasm manifests itself. That is why in most cases, at the beginning of sexual life, intimate contacts in a woman do not end with orgasm. This phenomenon is completely normal, especially for women who began sexual activity at a young age.
In most cases, at the beginning of a woman’s sexual life, there is a certain period during which female sexuality awakens, adapts to the characteristics of the partner’s sexuality (sexual adaptation in a couple), and also completes the formation of the ability to experience orgasm. During the first months or even years of sexual activity, partners try different options for sexual interaction, affection, and experiment. At the same time, sensitive erogenous zones are identified, the most pleasant ways to influence them, a woman’s sensuality awakens and intensifies. To awaken sensuality, it is important that intimate touches be carried out in an atmosphere of peace and relaxation. An appropriate emotional mood and a loving relationship between partners are required. Of great importance is the image of the partner, his sensitivity, interest in satisfying the partner, the ability to know and understand the specific female sexual needs, and attentive attitude towards them.
At the beginning of sexual activity, and often later, the main sexual need of a woman is not so much sexual actions (sexual intercourse), but erotic interaction (kissing, hugging), petting (kissing and stimulation of the breasts, nipples, etc.) Therefore, the partner should pay attention to these caresses and gradually move on to sexual intercourse, ensuring appropriate readiness for it.
Gradually, from the entire variety of intimate influences, the most effective and exciting ones are selected, and the woman gradually gains experience of pleasant, sexually charged sensations. Against this background, the first orgasm arises.
However, it does not yet mean that the process of developing mature sexuality in a woman is over. To stabilize the orgasmic function, it usually takes some more time, during which a certain set and sequence of sexual influences are selected, leading to orgasm with great consistency. A so-called optimal sexual stereotype is developed. If in the first stages of sexual life, foreplay and preparation for sexual intercourse took quite a lot of time, then after developing an optimal sexual stereotype, their duration can be reduced, but they are not completely excluded. A very important question that interests many is: during what period of regular sexual activity should a woman acquire the ability to experience orgasm during intimate contact? For how long is the absence of orgasm a normal, natural state, and when does it become a sexual disorder and it is advisable for a woman to seek help from specialists with this problem? What reasons may delay the ability to respond with orgasm to sexual stimulation? What helps a woman go through this period of “sexual adaptation” faster?
Most often, the focus is shifted to the partner. There is a belief that a man bears full responsibility for the female orgasm, for developing a woman’s ability to experience it. This especially applies to first permanent sexual partners and, of course, to husbands. Their role is really very great. A woman’s first sexual experience largely determines her attitude towards sex life, gives her first ideas about her own sexuality, a feeling of confidence or self-doubt. In order for it to become a positive incentive for the further development of female sexuality and the full development of its capabilities, the partner must have an understanding of the characteristics of female sexuality and some rules that must be followed. We will pay ample attention to this in the second part of the book.
Pleasure
Maybe it's time to find out how to satisfy a woman V sexual relations. You go on dates with a charming girl, your communication is easy and relaxed and makes both of you happy. But a little worm of fear has settled in my soul: will she feel just as good in bed with you?
And here sexual experience is not so important, it’s just that the female essence is multifaceted, and different girls get pleasure from completely opposite actions.
How to please a woman in an intimate relationship so that your relationship remains long and bright? A satisfied woman should scream from orgasm.
Orgasm (ancient Greek ὀργασμός from ὀργάω - to fill (with juice), to swell; to glow with passion) is the culmination of sexual arousal, characterized by a strong feeling of pleasure and satisfaction.
What helps for strong orgasms How to satisfy a woman in bed
In fact, everything is much simpler than it seems in the question of how to please your wife in bed, the main thing is to feel what your beloved wants, try to understand her desires, and not behave repulsively.
The partner feels great satisfaction from the very presence of the object of her passion: the aroma of perfume, a caressing look, the timbre of her voice. Observing a person who excites her excites a woman even without his touch.
How to satisfy a woman if she can't cum
Of course, you may be more interested in the question of what movements should be done with the clitoris and anus, because a woman cannot come. It is impossible to choose one technique for everyone. But we can recommend a clitoral stimulator (click on the link above). This attachment will bring any young lady to a squirting orgasm, it’s been tested.
Experiment on how to satisfy a girl
Always look for how to satisfy a girl in bed during sex. Finding out whether she is faking an orgasm or not is quite simple.
Unless you have discussed certain radical experiments in advance, do not ask for them immediately during intercourse, otherwise you will lose her trust. It will also be superfluous to boast about your rich intimate life - the woman will begin to compare herself with previous passions and will not be able to relax.
From how to satisfy a woman during sex so that she screams with pleasure, you can use powerful and safe means to prolong sexual intercourse. You can buy them in an intimate pharmacy (since 2014). Its uniqueness is that you can even buy 1 tablet to try the sensation.
This is a proven resource that has been operating online since 2004, which not everyone can boast of. Sells only high-quality goods, gives full consultation, advises about discounts and promotions. All drugs cope with the task of satisfying a woman in bed, while making her moan and scream.
How to satisfy your wife until she moans
Joy in proximity To ensure that a woman is satisfied at the moment of intimacy with you, try to show a little patience and a lot of tenderness. A wife satisfied with sex is able to become a lioness in bed and allow herself everything.
Good helpers on how to satisfy your wife until she moans will be a glass of wine, a cozy atmosphere, pleasant music, so that at the moment of passion nothing can distract you.
Orgasm can be achieved by stimulating erogenous zones. Mechanical stimulation of the genital organs during vaginal intercourse, oral or anal sex, masturbation, stimulation of erogenous zones with the partner’s hand, tongue and other forms of sexual activity.
Move to intimacy gradually: a look full of desire, exciting touches, kisses. Don’t rush if your loved one doesn’t want it herself.
Slow but passionate caresses excite a woman, making it clear that she is desired. Your partner will be 100% satisfied if she can express herself sexually with you.
Don’t give her limits that are familiar and comfortable to you. Give a woman the freedom to express her imagination, and it is very possible that she will surprise you with her unspent passion.
Often intimate female fantasies are more extensive than they sound out loud. Demonstrate that you see no boundaries in sex and are ready to support any idea.
The most loving, faithful and kind woman is the one who is satisfied with sex.
When everything satisfies Don't be a slave to stereotypes. Don’t forget, each representative of the fair sex is individual, and a satisfied woman is kindness itself. Consider her sexual desires and remember that her complete satisfaction is only in your hands.
A woman already determines from the first minutes of sexual play whether she will be satisfied or not. Casanova himself admitted that there is no ineptitude worse than the inability to caress a woman. Don't do what your loved one doesn't want. When touching the neck, chest and other erogenous zones, try to feel whether your partner likes it or not.
Clitoral orgasm in women is caused by stimulation of the clitoris (the clitoris is usually protected from external stimuli by the labia). It is possible to have an orgasm in your sleep; in men, this phenomenon is accompanied by ejaculation and is called wet dreams (usually during puberty).
If she is tense or has suddenly changed tactics, it means she feels discomfort, not pleasure. When your caresses make her skin crawl and take her breath away, you are on the right track and your woman is satisfied.
On the first night, you shouldn't pretend to be a super giant. You must determine whether the woman wants another intercourse or not. Caress her further, and if you feel her response, continue; if not, do not force her in any way. figure out which orgasm, clitoral or vaginal, gives more pleasure.
Women have different threshold sensitivity and for some time after orgasm, their erogenous zones are impervious to caresses. If you do not take this into account, a woman may feel unpleasant, and sometimes painful, moments, and will attribute this to your rudeness. The best option there will be deep and passionate kisses. A woman who enjoys sex will always do everything to satisfy a man.
Satisfy a woman in bed
When thinking about how to satisfy a woman in bed, do not forget that for her sex is not just physical release, but unity with a man. Therefore, after completing the love game, there is no need to immediately move away from the lady, demonstrating that “the job is done,” this is often especially frustrating and even insulting to the partner.
Show a little more tenderness, hug, gently kiss your neck and shoulders. These caresses will be very pleasant for the woman and will enhance the effect of sexual intercourse. Such attention will be highly appreciated - the beloved will be grateful for the wonderful sensations and will want the next meeting.
A girl or wife satisfied with sex is always in a good mood.
How to understand that you are not satisfying a girl in bed
How can a man understand that his girlfriend does not have an orgasm in bed, that is, you do everything but do not satisfy her:
- A woman produces little lubrication in her vagina;
- During orgasm, her vaginal muscles tighten and the penis should feel this contraction; if a girl imitates satisfaction, then she screams and moans, but the penis does not feel the contraction.
- Constant dissatisfaction and reluctance to have intimate intimacy.
In these cases, look for how to satisfy a woman in bed, not so that she screams, but so that she gets an orgasm.
How to excite your partner as much as possible in bed
If you don’t know how to quickly arouse your partner as much as possible, do not hesitate to use stimulants and prolongators, and choose the right movements. Remember, orgasm can be different. For the clitoris, fingers, tongue and circular movements during intercourse will help. For vaginal, alternating movements: fast, slow, circular, with deep entry and again slow, fast and circular.
How to satisfy a fat wife
IN family relationships there comes a period of fading passion. With age, men have to look for information on how to satisfy, bring to orgasm, a fat wife.
Unfortunately, overweight ladies lose the feature of high libido. Here it is important to learn to caress with the tongue, that is, to give pleasure not through simple intercourse, but through hands, tongue and toys. Ordinary caresses will not bring the desired result.
Technique
In the pictures, sex techniques are chosen for the full satisfaction of women and men.
Sex technique These positions allow you to penetrate deeply and give the lady a vaginal orgasm. There are other positions that allow you to achieve clitoral jet satisfaction.
Movements
