Many older women continue to be sexually active even after menopause. Moreover, most of them are satisfied with their intimate experience, are married or have a regular partner.

A large-scale survey initiated by the British government showed that women after menopause are still interested in sex. Thus, half of the 27,000 respondents aged 50-79 years said that for Last year had sex at least once, and among married women or women with a regular partner, 70% said this.

Among respondents who are dissatisfied with their sexual life, 57% complained about the lack of sex, and only 8% would like to do it less often. As scientists expected, sexual activity decreases with age. The main reasons for stopping an active sexual life are usually the loss of a partner, poor health or a poor quality of life.

“This work is the first to show that women's sexual desire does not necessarily decrease with age. We knew that women become less sexually active, mainly due to the loss of a partner, but we thought that they refuse sex without regret. In fact, they continue to be interested in sexual life,” experts say.

Among the main factors that negatively affect the sexual activity of women, we can distinguish age, low income, lack of a sexual partner, obesity, heart health problems, depression and arthritis.

Related news:

The old saying says that we are only as old as we feel. If you believe in your feelings, women age already at the age of 29, but men believe that they are young in body and soul, up to 58 years.

Ksyusha Petrova

"Age of Survival" and a stone penis

Naturally, sex at 70 is not the same as at 20 - primarily because normal age-related changes occur with the body. At the age of 45–55, women go through a menopause: within a few years, the ovaries stop producing eggs and hormonal changes in the body occur, which are often accompanied by unpleasant symptoms, such as “hot flashes” (when it suddenly becomes hot and the face begins to “burn”), mood swings, weakness, changes in skin texture, body proportions, the appearance of noticeable wrinkles. Many women note a decrease in libido, vaginal dryness and discomfort during penetration - due to a decrease in the amount of estrogen throughout the body, the walls of the vagina become thinner and more sensitive, less lubrication is released. Not all women feel Negative influence menopause, however, many report depression, anxiety and emotional instability, much like during PMS (imagine PMS several years long!).

By the age of 50, an important stress factor disappears - the fear of an unplanned pregnancy, and the ability to get orgasms remains

But there is good news: despite all the difficulties associated with hormonal changes, some women note that after menopause their sex life has become better, because by the age of 50 an important stress factor disappears - the fear of an unplanned pregnancy, and the opportunity to get orgasms remains. Many unpleasant symptoms of menopause can be alleviated - including with the help of sex: we already know how useful oxytocin is produced during orgasm, and how sexual arousal and discharge affect the body.

Men also go through age-related changes - not as dramatic as women's, but no less exciting. By analogy with menopause, the processes occurring in the male body are called andropause - this is not a completely correct term, since men do not lose their ability to reproduce, but experience a gradual decrease in testosterone production. One in five men will experience erectile dysfunction during their lifetime. Previously it was believed that this violation is associated with age-related changes, but now doctors are sure that it is due to medical or psychological factors: erectile dysfunction is much more common in men with diabetes, cardiovascular and neurological diseases, it is also associated with lifestyle (for example, alcohol and cigarette habits) and psychological state - like women, many men feel less attractive in adulthood, and erectile dysfunction makes them doubt their "masculinity", which in the collective consciousness is associated with a stone penis.

On the screen, you still hardly see a bed scene or a close-up with a kiss of people over 60

The level of attraction, the ability to excite and orgasm in both men and women is affected not only by diseases, but also by the drugs with which they are treated. This is not as scary as it seems: most common problems can be solved by contacting a regular therapist, psychotherapist, sexologist or endocrinologist who will help you choose hormone replacement therapy. In adulthood, there are many advantages that apply to sex: by the age of 50–60, people begin to better understand what they like, listen to their body and take care of it, get rid of stereotypes and unrealistic expectations.

Partners who have lived together for a long time finally cease to be shy of each other - besides, if adult children have safely moved into their homes, parents finally have personal space and more time for each other. Single people can be sexually active too - it's harder for them to get acquainted with partners of their own age than 20-year-olds, but no one has canceled masturbation and sex toys (especially since things like vaginal balls and simulators help keep the muscles of the small pelvis in good shape, so they are very useful for women after menopause). It turns out that there are no objective physiological reasons to stop having sex at 45 or 60 - cultural attitudes are primarily to blame for the fact that many voluntarily give up sexual activity in adulthood.

Pop culture and eternal youth

Intimate relationships in adulthood is a topic that Mass culture ignores or makes fun of: sexually active older people are talked about either in the spirit of “gray hair in a beard, demon in a rib”, as if they are behaving indecently, or ironically and touchingly - as if in the fact that people over 60 are able to love and experience pleasure, there is something extraordinary and inspiring. “The natural need for bodily contact, tenderness, the manifestation of sympathy and love is buried behind conversations about decent behavior, age characteristics, and special spirituality of older age. This is ageism, or total discrimination of a person on the basis of age,” says sociologist Dmitry Rogozin.

Older people are already underrepresented in popular culture, and romantic and sensual relationships between them are shown very rarely: although there is a slight shift towards a positive image of old age in the cinema, on the screen you still hardly see a bed scene or a close-up with a kiss of older people 60. One such exception is the Berlin Film Festival-approved film 45 Years, in which Charlotte Rampling and Tom Courtney play spouses who have lived together for almost half a century. The picture differs from other stories about a family crisis not only in that it has a realistic sex scene, but also in that the intimate relationship of an elderly couple is shown outside of a comedic context. “It was funny and strange to watch how during the screenings in the auditorium there was suddenly an awkward silence; the public is sure that Charlotte's character, Kate, will now close the door to the bedroom behind her, and the episode will end there. But it wasn't there - we continue to shoot in the bedroom, - director Andrew Hay said after the premiere. “The fact that, as people get older, people stop being sexually attracted to each other, for me, a 42-year-old man, is a very sad circumstance.”

In most Hollywood films, "those who are over" sex appears only as an occasion for jokes: in box office hits like "The Marigold Hotel. The best of the exotic ”all sexual scenes remain behind the scenes, and in those films where there are still sex scenes with elderly people, the attention of the audience is focused on comical difficulties, like a crunching back at the wrong time or the need to run to the kitchen for Viagra. There is also a gender imbalance: scenes involving mature men and much younger women are common, and vice versa - almost never. 70-year-old men often play 50-year-olds, and the situation is reversed with women: however, even if the age of the actress corresponds to that prescribed in the script, it is unlikely that real women will associate themselves with superstars like Charlotte Rampling or Meryl Streep.

"45+" and Russian pensioners

It would be unfair to compare Russian pensioners with Western ones without mentioning the differences in their standard of living: most Russians over 60 live, to put it mildly, rather poorly, and pressing problems like lack of medicines or food clearly push sex problems into the background. It is hard to imagine that Russian women over 70 are happy with the new vibrator just like the heroine of the TV series "" - primarily because such a vibrator costs like three pensions. The same can be said about sexologist consultations, and about psychotherapy, and even about buying condoms - all this is available to a narrow layer of more or less wealthy pensioners. However, the main problem remains ageism and a culture of shame in which older people are denied sexuality and physicality in general.

From the USSR, we got the belief that in youth you can have a little fun, and then “you need to raise children” and no longer have sex - after the birth of grandchildren, sex should finally disappear by itself. According to surveys of Russian pensioners, it becomes clear that people give up physical intimacy at the age of 45-55 voluntarily, without serious reasons - simply because it is customary. There are many lonely people in the older generation, especially women - the difference in life expectancy also affects, and the fact that new relationships "at the end of life" (although the "sundown" can take 20 or 30 years) is unusual and scary to start.

“Is it possible to live as brightly at the age of 45+ as in youth? Today, a woman is even capable of this! ”, Thematic sites cheerfully declare, deftly ignoring the fact that 45 is not old at all. Relationships, falling in love and sex are for the young, thin and healthy, therefore any manifestations of sexuality and eroticism at an older age (45–60 years are considered the “older age” for sex in Russia) are surrounded by an aura of shame. Nevertheless, Russians over 60 have sex - and, as RANEPA sociologists have found out, they are even ready to talk about it. The head of the study, Dmitry Rogozin, notes that women are much more willing and calmer to talk about relationships and intimacy: apparently, this is due to the fact that all romantic topics are labeled as “female”, and it is “undignified” for men to discuss such topics, so the language for talking about sex is them developed at the level of boasting to the boys. It is important to understand that not only glamorous slender old women like Buddy Winkle- the most ordinary elderly people also have an intimate life, those who have never gone online in their lives, live in a small town, watch talk shows on Channel One and embody other stereotypes about old age in Russia.

Life hacks and security

If you search for “sex and seniors”, you will get a bunch of porn links. In English searches, porn also comes across, but the situation is generally better: the search term “sex seniors” brings up links to lifestyle publications for older people with tips, safety rules, dating forums and personal stories. Western doctors and researchers of sexuality are sure that there is nothing abnormal in the intimate life of older people, but they emphasize the need for sex education: not everyone knows that condoms are also needed after menopause - pregnancy certainly will not occur, but you can easily pick up an infection.

We once wrote that an erect penis is not necessary for sex - the same idea is promoted by specialists who advise sexually active pensioners. Mature age is the time to reconsider your attitude to intimacy in principle and expand your sexual practices: changes in the body and some diseases do not always make it possible to have sex in the same way as in youth, but they turn on the imagination and make you try new things. Massage, oral sex, long foreplay, hugs and touches - these and many other sexual practices are available even to the most elderly couples.

It is also recognized for the inhabitants of nursing homes - in progressive institutions, older people are given the opportunity to retire and distribute free condoms, and formed couples can live together. This is not a call to depravity, but respect: old people are often treated like helpless children, even if everything is in order with their intellect, and deprive them of the last grains of independence.

If the idea of sex at 80 still seems ridiculous to you, you can remember that in Pushkin's time, a 25-year-old woman was considered a respectable lady, and a 50-year-old woman was considered an ancient old woman, but average duration life and ideas about old age have changed a lot since then. If modern Russian pensioners are primarily Soviet people and are not used to talking about sex, then in the West, 80-year-olds are those who hung out at Woodstock, lived in hippie communes, participated in the Stonewall riots, demonstrations in May 1968 and the first gay -parades - or at least followed these events in the news. Those who were sexually active in their youth do not want to stop because of someone's prejudices - so more can be expected from the current generation of emancipation and sex education.

Photos: Land of Women, Peter Rommel Productions, Fabula

Older women prefer younger men...
Perhaps today you have begun to pay more attention to couples where an older woman is in a relationship with her younger partner. You know how society treats such acquaintances. As for me, this is hypocrisy and double standards. Why, then, this respectable society closes its eyes and considers it in the order of things when a crumpled, but packed old man takes a girl who is fit for his daughter or even granddaughter as his wife.

Let's now think about why older women prefer younger men?

Have you thought about the fact that even an elderly lady can fall in love. As they say, "you can't command love" and now, we are already seeing a picture of how this very love makes a seemingly experienced woman do strange things.

The first thing that comes to mind is that
.

Between the ages of 18 and 27, guys reach their sexual peak, while women reach the same peak at the age of 35-45. And here we are seeing a picture that by the age of 40+, men are already less striving for manifestations in bed, they are already tired of everything, everything is predictable, and laziness in the end, the priorities are already different (doctors say that this is somehow connected with a decrease in testosterone) . Well, on the other hand, our young stallions beat with their hooves, and as they say "throw at everything that moves), which means that our elderly heroines in their face find themselves in bed.

Young men tend to look up to older women with admiration and appreciation. They charm them with compliments well, as you know, everything women love compliments especially if it's well presented.

Young guys are more open, for older women it's like a breath of fresh air.

Well, we are missing out on equally important attractive factors, such as: young and strong body, sparkling eyes and a smile which makes their relationship more romantic. Here our elderly hero loses in all respects with his own, and sparkling .... And what are his boring thoughts about the meaning of life and eternal discontent and laziness.

The other side of the coin.

Many older ladies throw themselves at young men, perhaps because they want to prove, both to themselves and to others, that they are still young enough and can attract attention to their person of younger individuals.

After many years of marriage, when she does not receive attention from her husband, when her children are already grown up and live on their own, she feels the need to prove to herself that she is still desirable for someone.

Another reason why older women prefer younger men.

Don't you think that we are all in the soul, regardless of age, in essence we are children.

And perhaps this is the reason that makes older women, but young souls, "break away" - remember youth !
These are noisy parties, and long trips or hikes, extravagant outfits on the verge of a foul, or .. the desire to stay overnight with a young man.

Young men make older women feel younger.

In addition, according to my observations, modern women aged 40+ today look younger than their peers in their 40s and 50s.

Perhaps another factor pushing older women into relationships with younger men is satisfaction of their maternal instincts. The desire to educate and dictate their terms. This manifests itself especially in women who have been married for a long time to a spouse who suppressed her desires and aspirations to express herself.

For many women from the former USSR, it seems that by the age of 50 their life is already over.

It's no secret that today's mass culture is a culture fetishing for youth and beauty. But the times are not the same, comrades!
Look at 40, 50, 60... successful women today. Over the past half century, the social and financial status of women has changed significantly. Today, women feel much more confident and independent than they used to be.

Today the show has become popular in the west "Age of Love" featuring 20 year old young girls - "Kittens" and more mature "Cougars" 40 year old women. Women compete for the grand prize - love 30 year old tennis star Mark Philippoussis. After the NBC airing of this show, just a couple of days later, its ratings just went through the roof!

How many times do you have to repeat the hackneyed phrase that "Age is not about how old you are, but about how you feel." There are many young women who are already old women at heart, and vice versa.

At any age, you can start living anew. Age difference should not be a criterion for those who like another person, although younger than you.

Photo © iStockphoto.com © Fotolia.com
Photo: wikipedia.org

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The truth about older people's intimate relationships

Intimate relationships are an important element in the life of every person at any age. However, there is an opinion in society that intimacy is the destiny of the young, and upon reaching a certain age, interest in this activity is lost and the need for it disappears. But all this is nothing more than a myth - even people of respectable age continue to enjoy all the delights of intimacy with their partner. In this article, we will debunk the most popular myths regarding sex in old age.

The elderly do not have intimacy

Undoubtedly, the quality of life leads to the fact that the older a person becomes, the weaker his health becomes. All this is directly reflected in the libido, which is often not as pronounced as in 18-20 years. Men at an older age begin to experience erection problems, but this is not a reason to forget about sex. Firstly, fortunately, these problems do not pile up on everyone, and secondly, there is always the opportunity to seek help from a specialist who will select an effective treatment and prescribe the necessary drugs.

Over time, the need for sex is lost

In a long-term relationship, the spark begins to fade over time and passions become less and less, and intimate life moves from the foreground to the very back. But there are many examples of the opposite, when over the years of living together, neither passion, nor spark, nor desire for a partner not only does not go anywhere, but also flares up with renewed vigor. For couples after 40 and after 60, a new honeymoon can begin.

In general, it has been noticed that people who have sex in their lives, and not only in their youth, are much happier in the life of those who have a deficiency of it. Recent studies prove this - in 60% of cases, couples over 65 who have sex more than twice a month confirmed that they are very happy and satisfied with their lives. 80% of respondents assured that, among other things, they are satisfied with their marriage. But of those older respondents who do not have intimate relationships, only 40% expressed satisfaction with the quality of their lives.

Sex in the elderly is necessarily accompanied by soreness

Age changes in female body differ from men's, the problems that ladies face with intimacy are also different. Menopause leads to the fact that during sex a woman may experience discomfort and pain, which is directly related to hormonal changes in the body, causing dry mucous membranes.

You can quickly solve this problem with the help of a lubricant, which is sold in any pharmacy. You can also contact a gynecologist who will tell you how to approach the solution of the problem in a comprehensive manner. In any case, the pain and discomfort will disappear, but the pleasure will remain.

If problems in sex arise due to pain in the joints, back or elsewhere, you can talk with your partner about your problem and choose the most appropriate positions. You can take a pillow as a support, but in the most severe cases, painkillers are used. Of course, before doing this, it is better to consult a doctor.

The older a person gets, the less likely it is to increase libido

When libido and sexual desires decline with age, this is quite natural. And if this happens at the same speed as that of a partner, then there are no problems in intimate life. But if the spouse is all right with this, and his own condition begins to bother, then you can’t let it take its course. A specialist will help you find out the cause of the problem. Talk to your doctor, perhaps the decrease in libido is due to an illness that prevents you from enjoying intimacy.

Remember that the state of health directly affects the sexual life. Active people who are in good physical health are satisfied with the quality of their sex life, which cannot be said about those who suffer from various problems. The reason for the decrease in sexual desire can be diseases such as hormonal imbalance, vascular pathology, uncontrolled diabetes. Even the simple use of certain medications can affect the level of libido, so you may need to review and change the medications you take, but this should be done only with the permission of the attending physician.

Sex is dangerous in old age

In the cinema, scenes are often shown when an elderly person during sex happens heart attack, and sometimes intimacy and ends in death. This gives rise to fear in people and the opinion that sex at an older age is dangerous. This is especially worrying for patients with cardiovascular pathologies.

But instead of protecting yourself from any physical activity, including sex, you just need to visit a doctor who will tell you in detail about what threatens and what is completely safe for your life. If there are doubts about the competence of a doctor, it is better to consult several. Only in the most rare cases can sex cause serious problems other than pain in the joints and muscles. Studies conducted on this topic show exactly the opposite results - sexual activity in old age improves both mental and physical health.

Sex in youth is much better and brighter

Another common misconception - many believe that all the delights of life are concentrated only in youth, and that sex at this time is much better. And in old age, everything goes sluggishly and boringly, there is no passion and romance, little turns on. But no! Over time, many find that the most best moments with a partner, it turns out, were only ahead. Of course, one can indulge in memories of how athletic they once were, how beautiful the body was, but this is not all that makes sex bright and exciting. The quality of an intimate life is directly proportional to the quality of the relationship - the closer the partners are spiritually, the more mutual understanding they have, the more love - the more pleasure sex brings.

Just imagine, the results of surveys of women around the age of 67 showed that 60% of them are very satisfied with their intimate life, and 2/3 of this number also regularly experience orgasms. And one more interesting proven fact - the older a woman becomes, the easier and faster she reaches the peak of sexual pleasure.

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