It is not customary to talk about this in society, but we will talk anyway!
Have you ever wondered why we fart? Although, perhaps, there is no need to think here - this is natural process, which helps our body to get rid of air bubble masses that occur in the intestines due to decay products.
The main role in this is played by beneficial bacteria that are in our gastrointestinal tract. However, sometimes farting (gas formation) is increased. In other words, we want to emit gases everywhere and everywhere - at home, at work, in bed with loved ones ... In this case, we are looking for any ways to get rid of gases. We'll talk about this.
What makes us fart?
To begin with, let's explain that increased gas emission begins when air accumulates in the intestines, expanding it or the stomach and causing some discomfort. This results in both belching from the mouth and farting from the rectum. There are several reasons for increased gas emission, including:
- fast and not too thorough chewing of food;
- if a person eats, experiencing some nervous discomfort;
- binge eating;
- when we eat for the coming dream;
- an allergic reaction to certain foods, for example, potatoes, garlic and mushrooms with eggs.
By the way, farting from pregnant women is the most common occurrence, because the fetus growing in the womb squeezes the rectum. If the reason for the question of how to get rid of gases is only this, then you should not bother, but what if not this? It needs to be identified immediately!
If farting is systematic, then you should visit a doctor. It is he who will advise you on this matter, advise methods and means on how to get rid of gases easily and quickly. By the way, speaking about doctors within the framework of such a delicate topic, it is impossible not to mention the main therapist of our television - Elena Vasilievna Malysheva. Personally, she sees nothing wrong with excessive gas emission. According to her, she herself happily "bulges two liters of air a day" /quote/. And more recently, a respected professor approved of the emission of intestinal gases ... during orgasm! The doctor, of course, knows better. We will not argue here.
- First of all, try to thoroughly chew what you eat, and with your mouth closed. This will prevent air bubbles from traveling down the esophagus into the abdomen and then into the intestines.
- Bifidobacteria know very well how to get rid of gases in the stomach. The fact is that they are able to create a favorable environment in our stomach, perfectly coping with the emerging air masses, preventing their penetration into the intestines.
- Drink as little strong coffee and tea as possible. Do not eat too hot or, conversely, very cold foods, as this also contributes to the swallowing of excess air masses and, as a result, increased gas formation.
- In the end, go to the pharmacy and buy there special means aimed at solving the question of how to get rid of gases in the body. These are activated carbon or special food enzymes. B vitamins and magnesium with potassium should be taken from time to time as these minerals help reduce bloating. By the way, teas made from chamomile, peppermint, as well as the most common dill water also help a lot in combating this problem.
By "fart" is meant a certain composition of winds, which are released from the anus noisily or muffledly, with a smell of different intensity. The Latins called it Crepitus ventris, the English - fart, the Old Saxons - Furlin or Partin.
General information
A fart can be defined as some wind or gas that accumulates in the lower abdomen. The reason for this, according to some doctors, is an excess of cooled mucus. With weak heating, it separates, softening, but not completely dissolving. The formation of such accumulations is facilitated by the use of certain foods or seasonings. Also, a fart can be defined as one that, in search of an exit, passes inside the body and, having found it, hastily flies out. In society, according to the rules of good manners, it is forbidden to emit gases in this way and somehow comment on this process.
Classification
How can you fart? There is a conditionally accepted classification. By strength, there are several types of farts. It may be simple. In this case, it can be compared with a strong single and instantaneous volley. It is formed when the gap through which the air comes out is sufficiently stretched, and the force pushing it out is powerful enough to push it out the first time. A complex fart is fired in a burst. Volleys follow each other continuously. Some authors call them "diphthongs". There is also a statement that with a strong physique, a person is able to fire a couple of dozen volleys in a row.
Mechanism of diphthong volleys
How to fart? The condition of the anus plays a key role in the mechanism of the diphthong salvo. Before farting, certain conditions must be met in order to ensure the correct exit of air. When releasing a volley, it is advisable to follow some recommendations. As a result, you can experience quite pleasant sensations from the process.
- It is necessary that it be spacious and surrounded by a sufficiently elastic and strong sphincter.
- There should be enough air to make a simple ordinary fart.
- After the first volley has been fired, the anus should cover somewhat, but not completely and not too tightly. This is necessary so that the air can easily open it again, provoking a slight and pleasant irritation in it. Some people compare the sensations they experience while having an orgasm.
- After the air is released, close the hole, then open it again. And so several times.
- If necessary, you can hold the remaining air to release it at another time.
For those who would like such volleys to come out effortlessly, people with experience recommend eating foods that contribute to the accumulation of air in the intestines. These include, in particular, peas, turnips, legumes, garlic, rutabaga.
The influence of diphthong volleys on the state of others
It has been practically established that such a fart can be very scary. People with such a volley can easily unbalance, scare and even deprive of reason. This conclusion is made on the basis of frequent observations, taking into account the constituent components from which such a bunch is formed.
Since you can fart hard enough, the gas, breaking out, shakes the air quite noticeably. It certainly grabs the attention of others. Knowing how to fart loudly can easily clear your way or get rid of people you don't want to be around. Such a "weapon" is especially effective in rooms or crowded places.
How to fart quietly?
It is not always possible to let the air come out noisily. Often you have to hold back volleys at work, in crowded places. So how do you fart quietly? In general, such a silent release of air is called "small" or "semi-vocal". There are people who always fart quietly. This is due to the fact that their anus is not wide enough. Most often, this feature is characteristic of young girls.
In turn, a small fart can be clean, medium and "aspirated". In the first case, the air gently and gently passes through the outlet channel. This is accompanied by a light and quiet whistle, similar to that heard when blowing a straw. In the common people, it is called "girl's fart". In this case, there is no air outlet bad smell that irritates the nose.
The middle fart is different in that the air comes out without any effort. The hole at this point should not be too compressed or open. How to fart silently if you feel that the air supply is too large? You should slightly strain the sphincter, thus delaying the bursting volleys. The anus should be opened gradually. With regular exercise in favorable conditions amazing results can be achieved. However, this does not guarantee the absence of odor.
What is flatulence, and why does it produce an unpleasant odor? Gas can make anyone blush, but one thought that this is the most common function of the human body that leads to improvement general condition, can reduce suffering a little. And this can happen not only to an ordinary citizen, but also to the Queen of England. We have collected 10 interesting facts about flatulence.
A fart is air accumulated in the body, which can come out of various openings. This includes the air that was swallowed when eating food. Some gases are caused by bacteria that live in the human intestine. Fart is made up of 4% oxygen, 7% methane, 9% carbon dioxide, 21% hydrogen, and 59% nitrogen. The smell of gas gives sulfur, which is also contained in the fart.
The more sulfur in the consumed products, the brighter the smell will be. Some products contain a large number of sulfur than others. For example, beans, peas, soda, cheeses, and eggs can give a fart such a flavor that the paint will peel off the walls.
3. People pass gases about 14 times a day
Regardless of gender, a person produces about 0.5 liters of methane every day. Moreover, the concentration of methane in the female and male body with equal food intake is different. In females, methane accumulates more. If a person emits gas continuously for 6-9 years, then this energy will be comparable to the energy of an atomic bomb.
As usual, the smell of methane lingers in the air for about 10 seconds. But, although this speed is not so great, it is quite enough to reach the nostrils.
5. Containment can negatively affect human health
Doctors are constantly arguing about the extent of the harmfulness of holding back gases in the body. Some argue that this is not so scary, while others believe that the intestines can be seriously affected and even hemorrhoids can form from this.6. In some cultures, farts are commonplace.
In most cultures, the emission of gases in public is suppressed by moral norms, but here are some nationalities who consider this a normal phenomenon. There are tribes in India who call this process Yanomami and use it as a greeting. And in China there is even such a position - an official farter.
7 Termite Flatulence Could Cause Global Warming
Termites may have an impact on the onset of global warming. They fart more than any mammal. According to statistics, termites release into the atmosphere from 2 to 22 Tg annually. It is the second largest natural source of methane.8. Human gases are highly flammable.
As already written earlier, when hydrogen and methane interact, the gas becomes combustible. In medical practice, there are cases when gases in the intestines cause an explosion during surgery.
9. If you hold back gases, they will come out in a dream.
If a person contracts the muscles of the fifth point throughout the day, then the gases will still find a way out, but this will only happen in a dream.10. A person farts even after death
The fact that a person emits gas after death has long been proven. This happens for the reason that gases continue to accumulate in the body and are looking for ways out. As a result, the dead can fart and belch up to three hours after death.The data given in the material are the results of scientific research and sociological surveys. The latter, by the way, can be very interesting and even funny, such as.
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O. Zhuravleva- In Moscow, 21 hours and almost 4 minutes, this is Nevzor Wednesday, my name is Olga Zhuravleva. And Alexander Nevzorov greets us from St. Petersburg.
A. Nevzorov- Olenka, hello!
O. Zhuravleva- Hello.
A. Nevzorov- Dymarsky is nearby, who wants to talk about the event at Helvetia.
O. Zhuravleva- Vitaly Dymarsky, good evening.
V. Dymarsky- Good evening, we always start with our events.
A. Nevzorov- Yes. And they have an interesting event.
V. Dymarsky- "Amateur Readings".
A. Nevzorov- "Amateur Readings" with a very interesting and, I would say, strong, one of the strongest to date ...
V. Dymarsky- Anti-utopians.
A. Nevzorov- Anti-utopians and in general, as it were, quite even publicists.
V. Dymarsky- Well, yes. This is Dmitry Glukhovsky here tomorrow at Helvetia at 7 pm. Still available.
O. Zhuravleva- Do you still have tickets?
V. Dymarsky- A little, but there is.
A. Nevzorov- It makes sense to listen to him, and it makes sense to talk about him, and talk to him.
Let's go.
O. Zhuravleva- Let's talk to you.
A. Nevzorov- Yes.
V. Dymarsky- Let's. What about dystopias? You are in Moscow.
O. Zhuravleva- In Moscow, as you know, there is a dispute over renovations, but we will probably return to them a little later, right? It happens to you in St. Petersburg too.
V. Dymarsky- We have not a single five-story building in St. Petersburg ...
A. Nevzorov- Yes, of course, but with us it’s all much more noble and without all this Moscow rudeness, without Moscow’s stupid scale and rapture with the possibility of legally mocking people and in this way too.
O. Zhuravleva- Listen, but Putin said that he would never sign any decree if the rights of people are not fully respected there. Putin is a bunny.
A. Nevzorov No, he's not a bunny...
V. Dymarsky- He's not a bunny, he's an angel.
A. Nevzorov: In the presence of their superiors, their brains turn off, that is, they work only with their backs and only in a bend
O. Zhuravleva- He's an angel, yes, sorry.
A. Nevzorov- Fine. But here is Vladimir Vladimirovich, he still trusts excessively to people who, probably, should not be trusted, because even in this story with the angel, in general, they managed to somehow expose Vladimir Vladimirovich in a very wrong way. After all, it is clear that in the presence of superiors, the brain of associate professors turns off, that is, they work only with their backs and only in a bend. And so they somehow forgot to tell him when he heard about the fact that ...
V. Dymarsky“…that he is an angel?”
A. Nevzorov“No, he didn’t hear, he saw…
O. Zhuravleva How an angel fights the devil.
A. Nevzorov- Yes. Film of the Geographical Society, and immediately applied all this to himself, calling himself an angel. Unfortunately, no one explained to him that the sea angel is, besides the fact that it is, excuse me, a gastropod mollusk ...
O. Zhuravleva- Yes, I noticed it.
A. Nevzorov- It's also a hermaphrodite, Olya, right?
O. Zhuravleva- ABOUT…
A. Nevzorov- Yes. Moreover, it is the sea angels, which is the most offensive and foul in this story, that toothless pygmy whales, as well as blue whales, feed on. True, the only thing that, perhaps, allows the head of the state to compare himself with such a creature is that the sea angel really eats very picturesquely, I must say, yes. He manages to shove such keratinized chitinous processes into the shell of this very monkfish and scratch out this devil for a long, long time, when he just gets tired of this whole vile procedure of scratching and snatching it away from him piece by piece, and he crawls right into the mouth opening of the so-called angel.
V. Dymarsky- Alexander Glebovich, let's reassure our listeners - this is not yet behavior.
A. Nevzorov- No, it's not behavior yet.
O. Zhuravleva- But you, by the way, offended the docents in vain, as you say.
A. Nevzorov- Why?
O. Zhuravleva“Because maybe it was so special, it was a subtle hint. Everything that you describe can be attributed to Vladimir Vladimirovich and is rather non-complementary.
A. Nevzorov- Well, I don’t know, at least here I had to be more careful, and Vladimir Vladimirovich didn’t have to pick up this story with an angel and a devil so happily. Therefore, let's not raise it to some criteria, to some, let's say, estimated values of everything, so let's talk about Khrushchev a little later.
O. Zhuravleva- Come on, okay.
A. Nevzorov“Yes, we have a lot of things besides that, interesting and maybe not so bleeding. We recently had an assault on the Reichstag.
V. Dymarsky“It’s fighting, isn’t it bleeding like that?” What are you?
O. Zhuravleva- Okay, this is a reenactment.
A. Nevzorov- It was a fight between cotton wool and plywood. That's what it was.
V. Dymarsky- No blood.
A. Nevzorov- No, well, someone’s noses were bloodied there, good stuntmen worked there, but since everyone understood the conventionality and some bastardity, let’s say, of actions, they worked, as they say, almost without a twinkle and didn’t give much. And everything was decided only by a huge crowd and that cool, calm attitude, attitude as to reconstruction, attitude as to something decorative - well, here is a kind of ritual of sacrificing plywood buildings, as a sacrifice to the God of Victory. But I would say that almost all those participating there were already, to put it mildly, atheists.
O. Zhuravleva- Tell me, Alexander Glebovich, would you like to participate in such an event as a stuntman? So that Shoigu admires you from the podium?
V. Dymarsky And if so, on whose side?
O. Zhuravleva- By the way!
A. Nevzorov- As always - the question of price.
O. Zhuravleva- Oh, that's it!
A. Nevzorov- Yes, absolutely right.
V. Dymarsky- Would you stand up for the Reichstag?
A. Nevzorov: Uncle Zyu will be happy to irrigate himself with the "Smell of Ilyich" and will be popular
A. Nevzorov- No.
V. Dymarsky- In reconstruction, of course.
A. Nevzorov- Of course not. I don’t do reconstructions at all and I don’t really understand why they are needed. Moreover, I believe that this is one of the most ridiculous varieties of lies and lies, because really, under the guise of history, we are offered as history its dried, polished, perfumed version, a surrogate that it never was, because everything that happened then was, of course, a billion times more monstrous, a billion times more extreme and far from being so victorious, beautiful, heroic and necessary, because, after all, we know that this unfortunate Rechstag and Berlin were taken precisely in order to meet certain dates, that tens and hundreds of thousands of people were packed so that, God forbid, the British or Americans would not come there. Therefore, everything is not so simple at all, and I would refrain from all these cult events altogether.
V. Dymarsky- No matter how cynical it sounds, but, in my opinion, from the point of view of such purely financial costs, it was cheaper, in my opinion, then it was worth it than now.
A. Nevzorov- Maybe.
V. Dymarsky- Now it is a third of a billion dollars ...
A. Nevzorov“Perhaps, yes, we don’t know how much we sawed off from it yet. But, by the way, this is no longer our business, it happened, and Russia's insane passion for window dressing was to some extent satisfied for some time.
O. Zhuravleva- But tell me, Alexander Glebovich, also about the passion for window dressing and about the attitude to history. In connection with Lenin's birthday, the topic of the mausoleum arose again - to close, open, bury ... What should be done here?
A. Nevzorov- And you know, here you need to calculate how much it costs to maintain this luxurious dead house, and if there are people who are ready to invest in it, if there are people who can put money on a barrel so that all this continues to exist in this form, so let it be. In general, this is a goldmine. After all, in the same place, in this mausoleum, you can arrange luxurious shows, right? Well, a nerve-trickling show: "Night with Ilyich", right?
V. Dymarsky- Corporates.
O. Zhuravleva- You can sell magnets with Ilyich there.
A. Nevzorov- It can be taken to corporate parties. You can take him to GUM, where he would work as a mannequin for the latest collection, there, Dolce & Gabbana. It would be possible to publish perfumes, to produce perfumes - you remember “The Smell of Ilyich” from the Soviet era.
O. Zhuravleva- And the soap "In Lenin's places", yes, of course.
A. Nevzorov- Yes. No, if there are such spirits, then we will be able to recognize the communists by smell.
O. Zhuravleva“Many of them already recognize them.
A. Nevzorov- Uncle Zyu with great pleasure will irrigate himself with the “Smell of Ilyich” and will be even more popular with himself ...
V. Dymarsky- But tell me, you are a big fan of all sorts of scientific things, but in this whole operation to save Ilyich, is there some kind of scientific component?
A. Nevzorov- There is a very large scientific component, but everything that could be milked from this story, everything that could be learned, has already been learned. In addition, as you yourself understand, Vladimir Ilyich lies in the mausoleum, being absolutely brainless.
O. Zhuravleva“Of course, the brain is stored elsewhere.
A. Nevzorov- It is not stored, it was a long time ago ...
V. Dymarsky- Withdrawn.
A. Nevzorov- It has long been divided into many micropreparations, according to him it was back in the days of Sarkisov, the then director of the Institute of the Brain. In general, Karl Vogt, who was invited by the Bolsheviks, started it all, and then the neuromorphologists who studied Lenin's brain had the task of finding something extraordinary in Lenin's brain that distinguishes this brain from the brain of other people.
V. Dymarsky- Did you find it?
A. Nevzorov“No, they didn’t find it absolutely, and they couldn’t find it, because, well, there is no correlation between giftedness, between aptitudes, and between anatomy and even microanatomy. Does not exist.
V. Dymarsky- But the famous St. Petersburg Bekhterev clinic was engaged in the brain, yes, now the Chernihiv clinic is engaged in the brain.
A. Nevzorov- As for Chernigovskaya, understand, here you are, for example, a physicist, right?
V. Dymarsky- Well, just for example.
A. Nevzorov- Eg. And you take physics seriously, you already know that the propagator is not only a seedling box, you can use the wave function. Here you open a book that says that Einstein is a fool, that gravity is a Jewish fiction, and the Earth is flat.
That is, Chernigovskaya, and all these, let's say, current trends, including Savelyev, this is already such a parascience after all, these are what are called alternative scientists who have moved away from Einstein's theory, the theory of brain physiology, this is Pavlov's theory, this is the theory of conditioned reflexes, and which, in general, are funny, but do not deserve serious discussion.
V. Dymarsky- I will invite Chernigovskaya to answer you.
A. Nevzorov: There is a kind of show business called the Russian Orthodox Church, they play their role-playing games
A. Nevzorov- Let those who are able to pay for this fun, pay for it, or it's time to stop all this fun.
V. Dymarsky- I think that it can be combined, you can take not the Reichstag, but the mausoleum.
A. Nevzorov- Can.
O. Zhuravleva- I beg your pardon, Alexander Glebovich, this question has actually seriously occupied me for a long time, and every time when officials begin to say that this issue can be discussed when it is not such an acute topic, when Lenin's body can cause a split. And what, is it really that such a huge number of people in the country still revere Vladimir Ilyich? I have a feeling that a huge mass of the population no longer even knows who it is. Where does this idea come from that the burial of Lenin can cause a social explosion, a split and other disasters? How do you think?
A. Nevzorov- Don't know.
O. Zhuravleva“Maybe they’re just all old already?”
A. Nevzorov I suspect it's fantasy. Maybe there they will really shake their shopping bags and beat a few pensioners with earflaps on the pavement of Red Square, but nothing will happen in connection with this. And most importantly, it’s not necessary, really, if there is an opportunity to make money on this story and open it to someone, there, JSC “Mausoleum”, then let them open it. And there is no need to interfere with this business, the only question is to whom it will go.
V. Dymarsky- But today Sergei Stepashin said that he was a witness, he was then the Minister of Internal Affairs under Yeltsin, that Yeltsin allegedly ordered in 1998, if I am not mistaken, not only to bury Lenin, but also to demolish the mausoleum. And what to do with the mausoleum? Demolish or leave under AO?
A. Nevzorov- I think that a cool boutique could be organized there.
O. Zhuravleva- Well, by the way, when there was a handbag, remember, the famous handbag on Red Square?
A. Nevzorov- Yes Yes.
O. Zhuravleva- There were such jokes when they painted the mausoleum in the photographs accordingly. It would totally work.
A. Nevzorov- No, the building is nice, and you can leave this mummy there if you find some worthy commercial use for it, because it no longer works as a symbol of anything. And I am absolutely not interested in discussing the advantages or disadvantages of Ilyich, they are all in the distant past, and this has no effect on our life today. Only here, of course, there are gourmets, there are specialists in historical subtleties and details, but there are not so many of them to take into account in the broad sense of the word ...
V. Dymarsky- But you never know what was a long time ago? Long time ago Nicholas II...
O. Zhuravleva- Yes, I also thought about Matilda.
V. Dymarsky- But still does not give rest.
A. Nevzorov- Well, now Medvedev stood up for Matilda.
V. Dymarsky- Yes.
A. Nevzorov To my deepest surprise.
V. Dymarsky- What surprised you?
A. Nevzorov- I was surprised that Medvedev, who is usually very obedient to the general Kremlin trend, was suddenly entrusted with either going against it or voicing it. This is amazing, this is weird.
V. Dymarsky- Do you think that these are all pro-Kremlin affairs? ..
A. Nevzorov- And I don’t think that anyone has the right to carry any gag on serious topics from those stands and from those heights. The fact is that here, I must say, the intelligentsia itself let us down again, because there was no need to rattle the spine. And explain to the same Teacher again that there are no legal normative acts that would oblige him to even know that Nicholas II is a saint.
There is a kind of show business called the ROC, they play their role-playing games with dressing up, where they can call each other whatever they want, that's how we have mushroom elves in Udelny Park, there are people who, in all seriousness, play gnomes and call each other by Thorin Oakenshield or “Your dwarfism”, “Your meanness”. In the same way, inside this role-playing game of the ROC, they can call each other whatever they want, but we are not obliged to know who their saint is, we are not obliged to think about this topic at all, there are no legal grounds to force us to do this or demand, so that we can be aware of it.
And besides, it was necessary to honestly say: here you have your Nicholas II, you want to worship him and shed tears about him, and we want to laugh, and for us this figure is miserable and anecdotal. Do not rattle your spine, do not tell that, ah, that's how not to offend them a little. In the end, they can withdraw into their little world, and no one has the right to get into this little world, and no one imposes this on them, because after all, the Teacher does not have divisions of submachine gunners who will drive poor Orthodox to the cinema - go or not, that’s their choice.
O. Zhuravleva- But in any case, Medvedev expressed common sense - it's wonderful.
A. Nevzorov- Sound words, and maybe it really makes sense to move on to practice, when films, and books, and articles, and radio programs will be marked with a certain sign, such as, well, they are not recommended for the so-called believers.
O. Zhuravleva- Well, yes, “16+”, and “cross minus”.
V. Dymarsky- And the deputies.
A. Nevzorov- Yes, “cross minus”, absolutely right. And then let the filmmakers and radio program hosts suffer losses, maybe they will have a smaller audience, but ...
V. Dymarsky- There is a danger there, because when they put the numbers 16+, then the plus looks like a cross.
O. Zhuravleva- That's it, a disaster.
A. Nevzorov I think we'll come up with...
O. Zhuravleva- And right here.
A. Nevzorov“They are offended by everything again. They are even offended - well, I looked at the mail on Ekho Moskvy, they are even offended by the fact that Gundyaev is called Gundyaev. But in this, pardon me, when I say "Gundyaev", there is not even any challenge in this, I'm just once again I make it clear that I am not taking part in this role play with disguise, and therefore I call him by the surname under which he exists in the state.
O. Zhuravleva- Yes, for some reason Poltavchenko can be called Poltavchenko, but Gundyaev cannot be called Gundyaev. Marvelous.
A. Nevzorov- Yes.
O. Zhuravleva- You can, by the way, about one more person, who is also called by his last name, that same Medvedev. Here is Levada's poll, which showed some terrible rating drops, incredible. Then there was the reaction of the press secretary Timakova, who said that this is understandable, from Levada - this is a political order. Can you imagine who could order Medvedev in such a way for Levada? What kind of forces are so terrible in the country?
V. Dymarsky- Not only, by the way, Levada, and Navalny, right?
A. Nevzorov- And to everyone else.
O. Zhuravleva“Rich people, we need to get to know them. So. And who are these people?
A. Nevzorov- I suspect that they still will not come down, but to assume that a figure of such a large caliber in Russian politics can be attacked without a signal from Putin is pointless and extremely naive. Another thing is that this may be a false attack, it may be an attempt to just knock off the trail so that, having dragged Medvedev's figure in their toothless dented drooling gums a little, the public would play enough and forget for a while, because the teeth- then the public doesn’t have it anyway, and you can let anyone play without fear that this “anyone” will be bitten. We know that it still remains, shall we say, very, very theoretical.
V. Dymarsky- Alexander Glebovich, by the way, tell me, as a Petersburger with experience, I would say, to us, Petersburgers without experience. Medvedev, he is still younger, did he enter at one time, there, in the 90s, into this Petersburg circle, which almost entirely moved to Moscow?
A. Nevzorov- Well, very much, I would say, like this, half a foot, a quarter of a foot, well, maybe one thumb even, let's just say.
V. Dymarsky- That is, he was not a full member of the cooperative? ..
A. Nevzorov- No, he didn’t play these games at all then, he was mobilized and called up for civil service much later.
V. Dymarsky“Just because of your age?”
A. Nevzorov- Because he really has some real virtues - normal kindness, normal tolerance - he has a lot, and at that moment he looked like a very reliable person. And now, indeed, I feel sorry for him, because of all this terrible host of bloodsuckers, he is the most harmless, the most kind, the most funny and the most humanoid. This is not Mizulina, who once again suddenly, after a long silence, took it and burst out ...
O. Zhuravleva― Porn addicted children.
A. Nevzorov- Yes. About the fact that watching pornography leads to infertility. Well, all right, she would say this on her own, after all, it’s okay, because it’s hard to think with the help of a brace, especially when there is only one brace. But she refers to some scientific research, it is quite possible that she simply confused the Ig Nobel Prize with the Nobel Prize. And some other explanations, but the truth is, she is not supposed to know this either, she, in general, is such a narrow-minded girl with us, but very fond of forbidding everything and talking about everything.
It is clear that there are no interconnections, and maybe you will also be interested, because this is already from the history of pornography. And in the 18th century, this kind of product was in great demand and aroused interest, but then the golden youth of England and France used very badly printed obstetric guides, guides for midwives, where not a damn thing was visible at all.
O. Zhuravleva“Then some obscene postcards appeared.
A. Nevzorov- Yes. But wait. Just imagine for a second what these engravings of the 18th century looked like. Nevertheless, the youth of that time managed to masturbate, looking at this horror, and this horror was enough for them to be involved in some first pornographic ...
O. Zhuravleva- Well, by the way, they didn’t die out, which means that it didn’t cause infertility.
A. Nevzorov“If you look at the first images, the first sculptures of mankind, they are absolutely pornographic, these are the so-called Neolithic Venuses.
O. Zhuravleva- Yes Yes.
A. Nevzorov- There is no face, it is not essential.
O. Zhuravleva But there is a figure.
A. Nevzorov- There are gigantic boobs, a very deep vaginal (indecipherable) is drawn, that is, two main principles are drawn, according to which a woman differed from a man. But then, don't forget, she still required extraordinary corpulence, a woman was considered only as a child-bearing machine, and, on an extreme rainy day, food.
V. Dymarsky- This will now be called the initial accumulation of pornographic capital.
A. Nevzorov- Yes, absolutely right. And yet, despite the fact that this pornography has been present since the very first days of human history, no one really died, as Olya rightly noted. But we are all inadequate. Now they killed a Russian soldier in Armenia, I thought that the State Duma would demand without fail that Armenian radio be banned throughout the territory Russian Federation.
That is, everything is senile, and against this background, Medvedev with his slippers and his harmless villas, well, believe me, the least of the evils.
O. Zhuravleva- You just said “villas”, I imagined Medvedev with a pitchfork and in slippers ...
V. Dymarsky- Remembered the magazine "Crocodile".
A. Nevzorov- There clearly sounded two "l".
O. Zhuravleva- Good, yes.
Alexander Nevzorov: Against this background, Medvedev with his slippers and harmless villas is the lesser of two evils
V. Dymarsky Do you remember the Crocodile magazine? A crocodile with a pitchfork stood.
A. Nevzorov- Yes. In our country, everything is, to one degree or another, extremely hypocritical, as it was the hypocritical ridiculous storming of the Reichstag. Also there, for example, poor Maksakova was left without a fee, although very ...
V. Dymarsky She left without a husband.
A. Nevzorov- She was left without a fee, because she very convincingly fainted, sobbed, portrayed grief, but this billion-dollar inheritance somehow flew past her.
V. Dymarsky- Yes you!
A. Nevzorov- Yes.
V. Dymarsky How did this get past me?
A. Nevzorov- Although it was probably still her best acting job.
O. Zhuravleva- Stop it! A great human feeling… You somehow deny natural manifestations to a person. Why is that? You even, I suppose, deny Macron that he married his teacher for love.
A. Nevzorov- No, I hope that he was guided by higher and brighter motives, that is, normal self-interest or the expectation of an imminent inheritance. Then all this can be understood, forgiven and explained, it becomes, mind you, so beautiful at once ...
V. Dymarsky- Who are you rooting for? Macron or Marine Le Pen? Or do you not care?
A. Nevzorov“I don’t root for anyone at all. I am well. I don't care which one. Although, of course, LePenche made such picturesque and insane mistakes that only a Frenchwoman could make, who poorly evaluates, let's say, herself and her appearance. This is her pilgrimage to Moscow, falling at the feet of Putin - it's all very beautiful. But I'm afraid that civilized Europe will not appreciate this demarche, and if it does, it will only be strictly negative.
V. Dymarsky- But did the Americans appreciate Trump?
A. Nevzorov- Therefore, I think that this election is most likely - I explain, I'm not sick, I don't care - this Macron will most likely win.
O. Zhuravleva We're taking a news break here. These are "Nevzor environments". Alexander Nevzorov, Vitaly Dymarsky and Olga Zhuravleva will come to you after the news.
O. Zhuravleva― 21:35 in Moscow, this is Nevzor Wednesday. From Moscow, Olga Zhuravleva, and from St. Petersburg, as expected, Alexander Nevzorov and Vitaly Dymarsky. Gentlemen, are you with us?
A. Nevzorov- Certainly.
V. Dymarsky- Yes.
O. Zhuravleva- It's good that you answer in chorus, well done. By the way, in pursuit of what Alexander Glebovich said about Marine Le Pen, the European Parliament began the procedure for depriving Mrs. Le Pen of her parliamentary immunity. She is suspected of organizing a scheme to pay salaries to her employees at the expense of EU funds. Listen, it's amazing, no matter who they are, no matter how humanoid or vice versa ugly, in reality the majority turns out to be petty thieves. And these people, by the way, solve the issues of war and peace in different countries...
V. Dymarsky“And these people forbid us to pick our noses…”
O. Zhuravleva- ... they forbid us to pick our noses, watch Matilda or anything else. Terrible politicians.
A. Nevzorov- Look, we have North Koreans again, they threatened Australia this time, right?
O. Zhuravleva- God! I missed everything.
A. Nevzorov“…they will bomb it…”
V. Dymarsky- But New Zealand will regret.
A. Nevzorov- Because the Australians brilliantly explained to the North Koreans that the North Koreans, what is called, have a short pepper ...
O. Zhuravleva- And the Earth is round.
A. Nevzorov- But what a magnificent diplomatic form they found in order to formalize and pack this statement into a text. But I think that sooner or later North Korea will unite with the DPR, and Zakharchenko and plump Kim, they will threaten the world together, they love to do it. Zakharchenko will threaten on Tuesdays, Kim Jong-un will threaten on Thursdays, and on Monday they will do it in a duet, because they are both the same ...
V. Dymarsky Thursday is fish day.
A. Nevzorov- Yes.
O. Zhuravleva- By the way, our General Staff, Alexander Glebovich, reports that the US missile defense creates an opportunity for a covert nuclear strike against Russia. For a sudden nuclear strike or covert. The wording here is different, but I like it.
A. Nevzorov- We suddenly have winter, stadiums suddenly collapse and subways explode, everything happens suddenly.
V. Dymarsky“The winter is coming to an end for us.
A. Nevzorov“It ended, but then, as you know, it started again.
V. Dymarsky Yes, and it continues.
A. Nevzorov- The main thing for us is not to forget about behavior, because today, today, directly and specifically, we have Artemon's day.
O. Zhuravleva- Which dog is this?
A. Nevzorov- No, Saint Artemon - his only merit and famous deed was that he sneaked into the temple of Artemis and committed an act of primitive rude vandalism there, for which even in the Russian Federation he would still have received at least five, if not 10 years of strict regime .
A. Nevzorov: I think that sooner or later North Korea will unite with the DPR, and Zakharchenko and Kim will threaten peace together
V. Dymarsky- Without the right of correspondence.
A. Nevzorov“He smashed all the antique statues he could get his hands on and then set them all on fire. Moreover, we must understand that where we find evidence in some Gibbon that the early Christians destroyed almost all ancient art, there is no exaggeration in this. And even if we, let's say, leave the story of Artemon on the conscience of the authors of the lives - perhaps everything was not so, it's all always fantasy - then we must understand that ancient art was really exterminated with extraordinary passion.
And today's stupid passion of priests to desecrate exhibitions, to ban operas, to encroach on films - it all comes from there, because there are examples of behavior for them. And this Artemon, who became famous for vicious vandalism against the monuments of ancient art, he is a saint, that is, this is a creature that is a model of behavior ...
V. Dymarsky- And who declared him a saint?
A. Nevzorov He has been canonized by the Christian Church.
V. Dymarsky- The Vatican?
A. Nevzorov- No.
V. Dymarsky Or Orthodox?
A. Nevzorov- This is a common saint, this is also ...
O. Zhuravleva Is this before 1054?
A. Nevzorov“It’s actually the 4th century.
O. Zhuravleva- It's clear.
A. Nevzorov- But where even these saints are not common, they are still Christian saints, and where we again pay attention to what style of behavior is proposed as normative, let's remember St. herself to such a state that worms started up in her clothes.
O. Zhuravleva“It seems to me that you have already talked about some similar heroine.
A. Nevzorov- No, it was another saint, I was talking then about Simeon the Stylite, who bred worms in the ulcers of his body.
O. Zhuravleva“I think you talk about worms every show.
A. Nevzorov“Wait, we talk about Christian saints all the time. Worms and Christian saints, they all crawl somewhere near each other. And just understand that this Margarita, whom I am talking about, was not some street homeless woman, she was the daughter of King Bela IV, she was the so-called princess. But no one wants to pay attention to the patterns of behavior that Margarita offers. They want to perfume themselves, they are believers, and I think that if Christian saints gathered and sniffed, for example, the Synod of the Russian Orthodox Church, they would simply anathematize it at that very second only on one principle, on the principle of smells, yes ?
But there is a lot of cheerful hypocrisy, because, let's remember, there was also such Saint Macrina, she, in my opinion, was also somewhere these days. Saint Macrina had a boil on her chest, but she said that she would rather die of blood poisoning and gangrene than show her breasts to the doctor.
O. Zhuravleva Well, it's still very popular now.
V. Dymarsky- It has its own logic.
A. Nevzorov“I don’t remember that any young girls now ...
V. Dymarsky- But what chastity.
A. Nevzorov“Well, chastity is relative…”
O. Zhuravleva“And you just don’t look at all believers. In Islamic, for example, traditions, someone there called for the extermination of all male gynecologists, I don’t remember in which country. Well, not in the sense of exterminating, but in the sense of forbidding men to work as gynecologists. All for the same reason, for the reason of chastity.
A. Nevzorov– This was accepted in Europe too, and even those masters of obstetrics who were recognized specialists, such as Ruysch, for example, before he began to make a collection of his monstrous babies, now exhibited in the Kunstkamera, he was a famous gynecologist and obstetrician, but he always made examinations in total darkness.
O. Zhuravleva- Oh my God!
V. Dymarsky- To no-no.
A. Nevzorov- Not to see.
O. Zhuravleva- And you say pornography.
V. Dymarsky And that she didn't see him.
A. Nevzorov- No, well, she's okay, but anyway, the doctor was not allowed to look, he could very approximately ...
V. Dymarsky- All by touch.
A. Nevzorov- By touch, and as I understand it, there were a couple more standing nearby midwives, midwives and mizulins of that time, who beat him on the hands so that he would not touch something that was not right. That is, the European doctors were also very difficult ...
O. Zhuravleva“But the years went by.
A. Nevzorov- Years passed, ideas about decency changed. By the way, I'll bring you sooner or later, you love all this historical crap, there is such a wonderful book by Caspar d'Horno. You don't know, no?
O. Zhuravleva- No.
A. Nevzorov: Worms and Christian saints, they all crawl somewhere next to each other
A. Nevzorov- This Caspar d "Horno, who made the translation of Nicolas Hurteau, a treatise, a book called" The Art of Emitting Gases ". And there, in all seriousness ...
O. Zhuravleva- Alexander Glebovich, some of us write that they are having dinner.
A. Nevzorov- All right, let them put on gas masks.
V. Dymarsky- And this is Alexander Glebovich who wants to donate this to Gazprom.
A. Nevzorov- Quite right.
A. Nevzorov- And here 7 types are described, how different classes were allowed to do it. How girls were supposed to do it, how masons could do it, and how an archbishop could do it, for example. That is, everything was then very graduated and very fun. Ideas about decency in general were completely different.
O. Zhuravleva- By the way, a question for this case, this, in general, is also included in behavior. Glazyev told us that the recipe for saving the economy is to live according to the commandments of Christ: to love each other and so on. Could you list the commandments that are necessary to save the economy?
A. Nevzorov- I suspect that perhaps the Russian Federation should better think about changing God, because Jesus Iosifovich does not ensure either the aiming of bombing or the success of import substitution, something incomprehensible is happening with the national currency, and now there are a lot of deities who hang out without work with perfect references.
For example, there is the ancient Egyptian goddess Mut. A miraculous creature, she should really please the voters and should make a great impression on the Russian population - she gives birth to living soldiers.
O. Zhuravleva- Wow! Comfortable.
A. Nevzorov She has a fierce hatred for tourism, cosmetics and travel. But the best part is that the cult activities associated with the goddess Mut are much simpler than in Christianity, kilometers of brocade are not required. In order to make a sacrifice and serve the goddess Mut, the leadership of the country and the high priesthood must come to the bank of a full-flowing river and perform the act of emitting a seed into this river, and this should incredibly increase milk yield, productivity ...
V. Dymarsky- GDP...
A. Nevzorov- ... the exchange rate of the national currency, GDP. At least in Ancient Egypt all of this has been tested.
O. Zhuravleva“And it all worked.
V. Dymarsky- And such a simple recipe: “do not steal”, - they offer us.
A. Nevzorov- No, what are you doing!
V. Dymarsky- At the same time, "thou shalt not kill," by the way.
A. Nevzorov- No, no, let's not extremism. You do not forget, the article is valid, be careful.
O. Zhuravleva- By the way, about extremism. Jehovists were recognized as extremists. Is that fair, don't you think? You do not love all believers.
A. Nevzorov- No, don't, Olya, well, my friend, don't repeat this nonsense! I treat all believers with great sympathy and great attention. I say that I am an entomologist, I study, I study them, and an entomologist cannot but love beetles, he treats all beetles with equal affection.
As far as Jehovah's Witnesses* are concerned, this is excessive cruelty, this is a competitive struggle. This is good only in the sense that the document that was prepared by the court in relation to Jehovah's Witnesses is absolutely applicable, for example, to the Russian Orthodox Church, on all counts, as well as to any other religious organization. And when the question arises about the extremism of the Russian Orthodox Church or about the banning of this organization on the territory of the Russian Federation, which will happen sooner or later, they just messed up such firewood and, in general, have already acquired such a bad reputation that, most likely, it will not do without it . And for this case, a regulatory document has already been prepared, judgment, because everything that is said about Jehovah's Witnesses can be said about any other sect - large or small, the Russian Orthodox Church or the Old Believers, about mushroom elves and Buddhists. It no longer plays any role. This is where this push is made - a push in the good sense of the word, not what you thought, Dymarsky. And already, I think that what is called, things will get off the ground. But in general they all deserve each other.
O. Zhuravleva- Alexander Glebovich, can I read a little of our listeners, what they write? First, they offer Demeter, who helps agriculture.
A. Nevzorov- Great.
O. Zhuravleva- Secondly, they report that GAZs are produced at the Gorky Automobile Plant - listen, but this is bravo! This is amazing. And "do not make yourself an idol" is good for the economy.
V. Dymarsky- Olya, I'm sorry, I also read text messages, there is just a question for Alexander Glebovich that I cannot help but ask.
A. Nevzorov- Yes please.
V. Dymarsky“Here, as a representative of the scientific community, they ask you: “Don’t you understand that the speed of light cannot be measured?”
A. Nevzorov Well, let them dig up Einstein and tell it to his remains. Let them go to the Nobel Committee and prove their views in this Nobel Committee. This is not for me. I'm a user of science, I don't create science myself. I generally can afford to confuse Boltzmann and Balmann, right? Despite the fact that both of them have a constant - there is a Boltzmann constant, and Balmann also has a constant, this is a line above the knee of jeans, which passes from one collection to another. I am a publicist. This is a little different, and I do not answer, I only perceive these scientific discoveries and use them for my work.
V. Dymarsky- Thank you.
O. Zhuravleva- By the way, this is a little bit about our development, because we kind of described the entire economy somehow, but forgot that we are still making rockets. This week we learned about the departure of four cosmonauts from the Russian cosmonaut detachment at once, including well-known ones, they say that they have nothing to do, they are tired of messing around. In general, it is somehow very tragic about our space prospects, which we are so proud of, in general.
V. Dymarsky- It seems that there is some kind of conflict inside.
O. Zhuravleva- And what, we will no longer fly to Mars, and in general everything is gone?
A. Nevzorov- And I propose not to poke around in all these cosmonauts' brawls, but to pay attention to the fact that a wonderful article by Charles Limoli has been published, although it is not very fresh, but now it has been translated into Russian, and it is finally, as it were, accepted by the scientific community of the West. Limoli is the University of California, and it confirms everything that I have been saying on Ekho Moskvy for a long time, that most likely space and the conquest of space is a myth, that it does not shine for us, and that earthlings will most likely be doomed to watch at each other's nasty faces, bye, sorry ...
O. Zhuravleva- Until Kim Jong-un can be launched.
A. Nevzorov“…until gamma quanta separate them. Here is a very detailed beautiful juicy study of the impact of high-energy ions, protons, high-energy iron ions on the human body, he describes in detail and in detail what will happen to a person in space.
O. Zhuravleva- If it's a very long flight.
A. Nevzorov- No, this is if the flight exceeds at least two or three weeks, because there are even more serious factors. And besides, let's say, there is also research that was done in the NASA space radiation laboratory, and there, in general, it is clear that in order to protect this person in space, well, it is required, probably, to weight these rockets by almost forty times, because the protection that may be, it will create such a weight for this rocket, and this, of course, is already impossible to lift.
Most likely, even if some astronauts are launched, according not to me, but according to these Limoli studies, then in 2-3 weeks instead of these astronauts in open deep space, where electromagnetic fields are not protected by any major planet- who have these fields, not all planets have - then instead of a team of astronauts, we will have a crowd of senseless, blind, who have forgotten their names, who have lost their coordination of movements, idiots who ...
O. Zhuravleva- Which at the same time will be very brave, as I understand it. They lose their sense of fear.
V. Dymarsky- Wait, Alexander Glebovich, maybe someone will fly to us?
A. Nevzorov- Don't know. With these forecasts, it’s definitely not for me, but I think that we’re just as long as Rogozin is in charge of space, I’m afraid that we don’t represent any interest for any civilization, galactic or intergalactic.
O. Zhuravleva- Wait, but they will not fly to us, but to the Earth as a whole, we have more than one Rogozin involved in space. Maybe they will fly to Kim Jong-un?
A. Nevzorov- They understand that Rogozin will meet, and this one circumstance deprives the slightest sense of coming to Earth for any life forms, even for silicon ones.
V. Dymarsky- And if it comes with bread and salt?
A. Nevzorov“I suspect the bread and salt will also fall.
O. Zhuravleva- And Glazyev will stand nearby and say: love each other!
V. Dymarsky- Don't steal.
O. Zhuravleva Yes, don't steal.
A. Nevzorov- We have a lot of fun as always.
O. Zhuravleva- Okay, tell me something really funny then. Did you remember the Ig Nobel Prize, something new was discovered?
A. Nevzorov- No, but the Ig Nobel Prize, it is always charming, it is always a refined banter over the darkest features of professorship and science. But this year there were no such brilliant sparkling awards. There was some kind of presentation to a scientist who lived with goats for 3 days and found that during these 3 days, in principle, the goat smell is absorbed into the sweater so thoroughly that the sweater cannot be cleaned. For this he received the Ig Nobel Prize.
O. Zhuravleva- And he could be recognized as a saint, by the way, judging by your stories.
V. Dymarsky- Yes Easy.
A. Nevzorov- And he certainly would have been, but he would have had to be born several centuries earlier. But I suspect that, judging by the notes of Tallemand de Reo, this is such a wonderful French book, “Funny Stories” by Tallemand de Reo, everything stank so strongly that it is unlikely that a three-day stay among goats could strongly distinguish a person, because in the same Talleman de Reo about one of the French kings, his mistress says that if he were not a king, then I could not fuck with him, because he smells like a dead man.
V. Dymarsky- Do you know, by the way, what is the name of the Ig Nobel Prize in France? There the French give the prize.
A. Nevzorov- No.
V. Dymarsky- Lysenko Prize.
A. Nevzorov- Lysenko Prize. Well, you see, and you say that somewhere they do not honor Russian science.
V. Dymarsky- This is an analogue of the Shnobelevskaya.
A. Nevzorov- In addition to Lysenko, we also had the beautiful Lepeshinskaya ...
V. Dymarsky- Ballerina?
A. Nevzorov: A small part of the population has to pay for the fun of people living on earthen floors in lice and mud
A. Nevzorov- No, I'm talking about the largest biochemist, the author of a completely crazy, at the same time very funny theory, nevertheless, she received the Nobel Prize, and in biochemistry for a long time she was almost the same as Trofim Lysenko was in genetics. That is, she just managed to rot everything reasonable and bright, and the rest of the academicians, although brilliant scientists, but cowards, such as Alexander Ivanovich Oparin, who was the first to talk about coacervate drops, was the first to discover the principle of abiogenesis. In any case, he agreed and did not mind.
V. Dymarsky Wait, what award did she get?
A. Nevzorov- Stalin's.
V. Dymarsky- Oh, Stalin! And you said - Nobel.
A. Nevzorov- Not only did she receive the Stalin Prize ...
V. Dymarsky- Stalinskaya is almost Shnobelevskaya.
A. Nevzorov- I don’t know, Olya, I will have time to tell you about Sergeyev’s wonderful book, which I would recommend to everyone. Sergei Sergeev. Very unbiased...
O. Zhuravleva- Literally a minute. Let's.
A. Nevzorov- Yes, there it calls into question the existence of the Russian people, and it is called "The Russian Nation, or the Story of the History of its Absence." Very interesting, very unbiased, very non-Russophobic work, where monstrous facts are presented. For example, you knew that at the entrance to the Tauride Garden in the 19th century there was a notice: entry is prohibited for persons in Russian dress.
O. Zhuravleva- Well, it’s clear who these people in Russian dress are.
A. Nevzorov- Yes Yes. And at every step here are just as picturesque, just as offensive, insulting, and at the same time destroying various myths examples. Because it is very difficult to talk about some kind of unity of the nation, when part of the nation trades in another part of the nation as property, where periodically foreign language becomes dominant, where a very small part of the population has to pay for the fun of people living on earthen floors in lice and mud.
V. Dymarsky- This is in connection with the preparation of the Law on the Russian nation.
A. Nevzorov- Yes, probably.
O. Zhuravleva- And in connection with the renovation at the same time. Unfortunately, we did not talk about it in detail, but there will still be a reason.
A. Nevzorov- Yes, sure.
O. Zhuravleva- This is Nevzor Wednesday, thank you very much, gentlemen. Vitaly Dymarsky, Alexander Nevzorov, my name is Olga Zhuravleva.
V. Dymarsky- Thank you.
O. Zhuravleva- Best wishes!
* - the activity of the organization is prohibited on the territory of the Russian Federation
