Well, this is how it happened - the husband left for his mistress. It seems that the world has collapsed, that there is no point in living anymore, and you can’t go outside at all, because everyone already knows about it and will whisper behind your back. I couldn’t hold it, I couldn’t save it, I couldn’t. You are the one to blame. She has gained weight, her hair roots have grown back, her manicure is crooked, her pedicure is absolutely terrible, her skin is pale. Speaks illiterately, intelligence is below average. There's probably a log in the bed too.
Somehow it has developed and become stronger in our society: the woman is to blame for everything. Even if the fault lies with her husband or children, indirectly she is also to blame. Let the husband go to his mistress, let the son skip school, let the daughter go to culinary school instead of college... She, the wife and mother, didn’t look into all this, couldn’t set it up in the right way, didn’t protect her from rash actions.
Such an organization of society has brought more than one woman to a bed in a psychoneurological dispensary, to a cell in a women’s colony, to the grave. The first thing every woman should firmly understand, even if she still goes to kindergarten: She is not to blame for what others do. When a woman learns this, her life will immediately become easier.
Why do husbands leave for their mistresses?
Of course, there is a share of the woman’s fault that the family collapsed and the husband left for his mistress.
Changes in the wife's appearance. Some women, after getting married and having a child, neglect themselves. They may gain weight, stop taking care of themselves, rarely visit the hairdresser and manicurist, and wear stretched, shapeless clothes. Such a wife is completely unattractive to her husband, since he does not see her beauty: her former beauty is hidden behind an unkempt bun of unwashed hair, a robe “a la collective farmer,” worn-out house slippers and a greasy “donut” at the waist.
Sexual incompatibility. A husband leaves his wife not only when he needs it often and for a long time, but when she needs it rarely and just a little. Incompatibility can also be reversed, which leads to the formation of an incompetence complex in a man and can lead to sexual disorders. Monotony in sex also has a negative impact on marital relationships.
Wife's mismanagement. Men are tolerant of many little things that are noticed and that irritate overly clean women: a couple of plates in the sink, plaque on the tiles, dust on the bookshelves. but even for them such things as an unwashed sink with streaks, a stinking toilet, a bathtub with stains and dried soap scum, litter underfoot and stale, grayed sheets and towels are unacceptable. Such everyday uncleanliness is already beginning to border on the personal uncleanliness of a woman. Also, the reason is often that the wife does not know how to cook or does not cook well.
Problems with children. The peak of husbands leaving the family occurs in the first years after the birth of a child. Spouses often find themselves unprepared for the changes that are inevitable. A child's cry, new unpleasant odors, a wife constantly busy with a baby, restrictions on sex, lack of time for rest and entertainment cause persistent discontent of the young father, accumulate and result in a desire to leave for a woman without children or with grown-up children. Husbands also often leave their wives when their children enter first grade, apparently tired of the increased responsibility. Frequent illnesses of children, disabilities of a son or daughter, childhood behavioral disorders - all these are reasons for a spouse to leave for another woman.
Excessive passion of the wife for something. Hobbies are always good. It helps to diversify life, acquire new skills, and spend time with benefit and interest. But sometimes it happens that a hobby becomes an obsession. Then it begins to create inconvenience for the family of the addicted person. The wife and mother knitting lace scarves looks cute, as if she stepped out of the pages of an old romantic book. But when half of the family budget is spent on threads and knitting supplies, it makes life difficult. The same goes for hobbies. indoor plants. Cacti and aloe on the balcony, chlorophytum in the kitchen and palm tree in the living room diversify the interior. But it happens that all surfaces are covered with pots, and households are prohibited from opening windows or turning on the air conditioner due to possible disruption of the microclimate in the apartment, which will have a detrimental effect on the plants.
What to do if your husband is about to leave?
There is only one answer here - let go. Only by letting go can you hold on. My husband is packing his suitcase - help him. Carefully place his underpants and socks in piles; your opponent will immediately recognize this as a “woman’s hand.”
Don't forget his shaving and hygiene supplies. Among the things there must be a photograph of the children. After all, it is the husband who leaves his wife, but not the father who leaves his children. There is no need to include your photo, it will be annoying.
All things must be collected without tears or lamentations and handed over to the husband with wishes for a good journey and an expression of hope that everything will work out soon.
It’s a good idea to remind the departing spouse that on Tuesday the younger one needs to be taken to the dentist, and on Sunday the older one will have an important competition, where he invited his dad last month. Along with the suitcase, the spouse must come to the understanding that his paternal rights and responsibilities have not gone away and have not changed in any way. If dad read a fairy tale to the children before bed, then it is quite normal for them to call him in the evening and ask him to read the fairy tale over the phone. This is for dad once again will remind you that he has beloved children, and will irritate his mistress from the very first day.
What to do if your husband has already left?
You need to calm down, relax and think about what caused your spouse’s demarche from the family.
If it's a matter of appearance, then it is necessary to immediately take measures to restore physical attractiveness. A common misconception is that you need a lot of money to be beautiful. In fact, you can be well-groomed in very budget ways. No diet required special costs. Even if there is no money to buy fresh vegetables and fruits in winter, simply reducing carbohydrates and fats in the diet, reducing the calorie content of dishes, coupled with exercises that do not require exercise equipment, will lead to the desired result. The same applies to hairstyles and manicures: at home it is quite possible to keep your hair clean and take care of your nails and cuticles.
If the reason for the husband’s departure is sexual incompatibility, then a similar problem may well arise with the next partner. A woman needs to solve this problem. If it’s a matter of self-doubt or fear of “doing something wrong,” then you can turn to manuals on organizing your sexual life. Fortunately, you can find books, articles, and videos on this topic on the market. If the issue is persistent complexes instilled during upbringing or acquired with previous men, then in this case you will need qualified help from a sexual psychologist, psychotherapist or sexologist.
If a woman has neglected her apartment, then she herself will soon want to escape from it. After all, the dust unpleasant odors, garbage on the floor and other surfaces have a depressing effect on anyone who is forced to observe them day after day. Before you think about how to get your husband back, you need to put your home in order, wash the tables, stove, bathtub, sink, toilet, floors and walls; wash curtains, towels, tablecloths, bed linen; get rid of dead plants, an aquarium with stagnant water, and other damaged and unnecessary things. A sofa can be reupholstered with new upholstery, and a scratched table can be covered with a special furniture varnish. The house should look so that you want to return there. As for culinary abilities, they develop just like any other abilities.
Problems with children, if this is what caused the breakup, cannot be solved in one fell swoop. If the husband left due to the child’s illness or behavioral disorders, it will be difficult to get him back. It is more difficult for fathers to come to terms with the fact that the child is somehow “different”. This is due to different approaches to the concept of parental love. The mother loves the child simply because he exists. The father loves the child for something, this is his nature: because he is the smartest in the class, the most dexterous in the section, spoke or started reading before others. When a child is seriously ill, his progress is scanty, and in comparison with other children he loses greatly. It is difficult for a man to come to terms with this thought; he may not be able to stand his disappointment and leave his family.
If the reason is the wife’s excessive passion for something, then the husband’s departure will open up either the opportunity for her to freely do what she loves and raise quails in the bedroom, or eyes, and then she will understand that her hobby has become destructive for the marriage.
In parallel with working on yourself, you need to work on establishing long-distance relationships with your spouse.
After your husband leaves, you need to pause and remind him of some old promise - hang a chandelier, nail a shelf, change the faucet. Remind gently and delicately, and not in the form of “you forgot as always, but it’s been dark in our hallway for two months.”
It is always necessary to involve your husband in solving issues related to children. Dad can go to parent-teacher meetings even when he doesn’t live with mom. And spending the weekend with the children has been their long-time dream.
It's rare that a mistress can stand it.
Valeria Protasova
Reading time: 10 minutes
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The family breaks up, my whole life goes downhill. The usual way of life, which was woven from little things dear to the heart, has been destroyed. My husband left me! And he didn’t just leave, but went to another woman. What is wrong with me? So what's now? These are the questions that concern women who find themselves in a similar situation.
Today we will try to help them by giving some useful recommendations.
My husband left for his mistress: reasons
Marriage is a very complex topic. There is no advice in the world that would help in any life situation. After all, there are a huge number of reasons why a husband can destroy a family. We will list the most common: 
What should a deceived wife do if her husband left for his mistress?
No psychologist, friend or magazine article will give you the correct answer to this question. You must decide for yourself what you want, for your husband to return or to start new life without him. To understand this, you need to honestly answer the following questions:
- Was I completely satisfied with my married life? What exactly didn't suit you?
- Do I want to continue living with my husband? Does it have any disadvantages?
- Do I love my husband? cheating on him?
- Will I be able to live without my husband?
If you are honest with yourself, you can easily understand whether it is worth fighting for your marital happiness, or maybe you just need to let your loved one go.
Effective ways to return a husband who left for his mistress
If you have come to the conclusion that your life has no meaning without your beloved spouse, you are ready to forgive him for cheating, then don’t despair, and feel free to start the fight for your family happiness. And we will try to help you with this:
Statistics is a rather harsh science that says that 75% of men still return
back to the family.
Has your husband gone to his mistress? Start a new life
Well, if you decide that there is no turning back, and you need to start a new interesting life, forward with us:
We talked to women who were in a similar situation. They gave us some very useful tips:
Your husband left for his mistress - what would you do? Reviews from women from forums
Sveta, 30 years old:
In such a situation, the main thing is not to give up and not get depressed. Remember, you are young and you can overcome anything. Set yourself specific life goals and gradually achieve them.Natalya Petrovna, 45 years old:
My husband left me after 20 years of marriage. Of course, at first I became very depressed. But then she pulled herself together and began to build a new life. After all, I have children who need me. You won’t believe it, but even at such a respectable age, I met a new love, and again I felt like an 18-year-old girl.
There are situations - quite frequent - when husband left for his mistress, then he began to visit the previous family again, first with reason, then without. The wife quietly rejoices, but prematurely - the husband still does not return. The mistress is angry - why are you still running around?! So long time, then there, then here.
I am sometimes reproached for being too categorical when I call for giving a traitor a kick in the right place - they say, male psychology is structured differently. Okay, today I will tell you about the psychology of such men. I’ll even tell you how to make a man stop jumping back and forth. Just remember to dust yourself off after reading it.
At my last job, I had several male colleagues - they all walked, regardless of age. One of them was frank about his adventures, I even knew his mistress. When I asked, “You understand that your wife, sooner or later, can also take advantage of the fact that you are not always at home and get someone?” To which he responded very emotionally: “I’ll kill you!” No, first I’ll get a divorce, then I’ll kill you!” To my great satisfaction, after about 3 years, his wife finally cuckolded him. Do you think he stole someone or ran to get a divorce so that he could finally go to his mistress? No matter how it is. He turned into a tearful, snotty nonentity who sobbed on the shoulders of his colleagues, his mistress, his wife’s friends and drank valerian with Corvalol. Having survived the first stress, he directed all his efforts towards restoring his relationship with his wife. Realized that he was a bad husband, began to learn to cook, etc.
This is not the only story. Main mistake wives who decide to keep unfaithful husbands are trying too hard. Show that she is better than her opponent, focus on children, family, etc. Understand one thing: if a man has no intention of leaving, he will not leave, no matter how hard he tries or not. If he wants, the same thing. Therefore, the best thing you can do is to speed up his departure if he is hesitating, or throw him out if he is not thinking about anything and is not going to leave. I will explain this from a psychological point of view below. I don’t advise you to cheat in response - because here the result is 50/50. Maybe he will forget his mistress and rush to return you, or maybe he’ll throw you out with a black eye. Very often, after a wife’s reciprocal betrayal, relationships improve for some time, including sexual relations. The husband needs to prove that he is better and show the woman what she is losing. Don't take moments like this seriously.
Also, my advice is to never admit to cheating, even if your husband has found evidence. Stay until the last minute. His suspicions are sufficient revenge on your part, believe me. But if you are caught red-handed, don’t say “he means nothing to me!” It’s easier for us women to hear such excuses. For men it's the opposite. If you say that you met a week ago and just drunkenly slept together, your husband will think that his woman is an easily accessible whore that anyone can lay down after a couple of drinks. It’s better to say that this man wooed you for six months, gave you flowers, swore his love, and you couldn’t resist his charm.
So what to do if husband left for his mistress or lives a double life. It will also be useful for lovers to read. But keep one thing in mind - if a man left for another immediately, collected a minimum of things, and disappeared from your life, then you are unlikely to fix anything here.
IN love triangle Both the wife and the mistress suffer. As long as they are patient, the man is comfortable, he is not going to decide anything. In the article, I wrote that even a great feeling for a mistress may not be a reason for divorce, because a man loses much more than his family - he loses his usual way of life. In exchange for the woman he already has. As soon as his wife or mistress, or both at the same time, begin to put pressure on him with a choice, the man falls into severe stress. Moreover, much more than each of them experiences. There can be several outcomes of such stress:
1. A suspended situation that lasts for years, when a man withdraws himself and leaves women to fight for him while he passively stands on the sidelines.
2. A man finds a third woman and goes to her.
3. A man finds some kind of activity in which he plunges headlong, moving away from his wife and mistress. For example, he signs up for the gym and diligently “lifts iron” or creates a rock band or something else.
You - no matter what side of the barricades you are on - have 2 options:
- Leave the man alone, let him collect his thoughts and choose, while you live your life. But here you need to have nerves of steel and understand that it is not a fact that they will choose you and it is not a fact that a man will not decide that everything has “settled down.”
- Increase stress by making a decision for a man and throwing him out.
The second option is more suitable for wives. In fact, a man who does not leave home in the first months can take years to collect his thoughts. Too many things scare him - he leaves his usual apartment, his usual way of life, his usual daily routine, while in the eyes of those around him he is bad, he is condemned. Do you remember how important it is for a man to be considered good. Plus now he has to support 2 families. And create your own new world from scratch. All this slows down decision making. It's actually very difficult. Maybe even harder than for a woman. At least she remains in her own environment. And she has a great outlet - she can be distracted by children. The man is not. This is why, in the first moments after a breakup, many men are so drawn to communicate with the child - he reminds of his former life. And many women forbid them to see each other - subconsciously understanding that this makes life easier for their ex-husband.
By kicking her husband out to his mistress before he himself has decided to do so, the wife creates severe stress in the man. Added to the above experiences is the discomfort of surprise - he is not mature, he is not ready for such drastic changes! His world is falling apart. He, of course, goes to his mistress because there is nowhere else to go - but he sits, yearns, acts distant from her, starts drinking or begins to come up with excuses why he needs to go visit the child. Then why does he need to stay overnight with that family. The mistress gets angry - this adds even more stress to him. As a result, the man's life turns into hell.
If a man is 40-50 years old, such stress often leads to serious illnesses. And even death from heart attack or stroke. But once in the hospital, the man begins to gravitate towards his old life. It's logical. When you feel bad, you want maximum comfort. And the man felt comfortable at home. Plus, he remembers how his wife looked after him, that she knows his ailments and, perhaps, even knows the doctors, she has experience and connections in this matter. There is the ability to make decisions for him while he is sick. And if the mistress is younger, then the man may notice fear and uncertainty in her. Worst things so far. The hospital is often the turning point in a love triangle.
But even without health problems, a man begins to reach out to his ex-wife (for the reasons stated above). The biggest mistake a wife can make is to think that this means something. For now, the man just goes where he can at least rest his soul a little. He doesn’t think about returning - he yearns for familiar things. If his wife responds to his proposal for sex or spending the night together, that’s it, she will lose him. The man will experience great relief that his old life is available to him and will now run to his wife whenever he wants a little comfort. He will live with his mistress. Or here and there. In general, everything is as it was from the very beginning, only the women will change places.
If you want your husband back, dictate the terms. You can come to the child, walk with him or with both of us, you can have lunch or dinner with us. But at a time when it is convenient for me. You can come when I say and leave when I need you. You can be interested in my life, but understand that you no longer have anything to do with it and I make all the decisions myself. You can even stay the night - but in another room, because we are no longer husband and wife.
In this way, the wife gradually gives her ex-husband the comfort he needs. Like a donkey, they beckoned with a carrot, but they didn’t give it. They gave me a little bite, but a little of the good stuff. The carrot and stick method. If you want to get everything, pack your things and move for good, break off that relationship.
And he will break, believe me. The mistress simply will not have any trump cards. True, there is no guarantee that after some time the man will not restore the relationship with her or start a new one...
Situations when a husband left the family (usually for his mistress, but sometimes to nowhere), then returned home, but after some time left his wife again, happen very often. Once upon a time, I even came up with a special concept for this phenomenon - “shuttle husband”, that is, a man who periodically rushes from his wife to his mistress and back, unable to pull himself together. Hence, angry at this behavior of their husbands, wives often ask psychologists: “Why do their husbands behave this way?”
Of course, one can go into the scientific jungle for a long time, explaining how genetically basic programs for procreation and sexual behavior (live in the ancient part of the brain) temporarily make men less than adequate and powerfully push them towards those who are subjectively assessed by their brain as women who are capable and willing. give birth, and more modern centers of social behavior (conscience, duty, honor, responsibility for children and wife, etc.), living in the cerebral cortex, try to fight them and often lose. But I'll try to be more clear.
Usually, men again leave those wives from whom they have already left and returned, for the following reasons:
Firstly, the preconditions that technically provided a cheating husband with opportunities for leisure time with other women were never eliminated.
For example: the husband was an alcoholic and remained so when he returned to his wife. And alcoholics, especially those with money, will always be attractive to women of easy virtue. Therefore, his new betrayals and departures are quite logical.
Or, the returning husband both worked together with his mistress and continued to work with her, returning to the family. Referring to the fact that she is a “most valuable employee” or that he has no moral right to demand that she leave. And he can’t leave himself, since he makes good money here. The consequence of this is clear:
Break up with your lover while working with her or meeting regularly
and communicating under any pretext is also impossible,
as well as quit drinking, drinking “at the bottom” every day.
Because the psychologically correct principle: “out of sight, out of mind” has not yet been canceled.
Or the husband does not change his position or place of work and still travels a lot on business trips. In this case, he will always have a need for “replacement wives” and those who want to be such will be found in any locality. And they will take care and give birth and become a second and third family.
Or the husband who returned home created a mode of “transparency” of his budget, pastime, telephone and social networks– he will cheat again. After all, for this he still has a budget and the secrecy of correspondence and the ability to lie about emergency situations at work and urgent business trips.
If the man formally living in the family still lives
in the “cat that walks by itself” mode, then purring
The cats won't keep you waiting long.
Moreover, new cats will be added to the existing ones.
Etc. and so on. All this has one big root cause: At the moment of reconciliation with her husband or at the time of his own return to the family, the wife showed psychological weakness or is so financially dependent on her husband that she could not set clear conditions for him to return. Like: “don’t drink, remove the password from your phone, report your expenses, tell them where you are, always pick up the phone, etc. And here everything is simple:
If no agreement is reached at the time of reconciliation
O radical change behavior of the conflicting parties,
then the conflict will definitely repeat itself, but the consequences will be the same.
Secondly, the wife could not turn out to be more attractive to her husband as a woman.
Everything is simple here. If the wife’s appearance, personal behavior, manner of communicating with her husband (scandalousness, hysteria or depression), her sexual behavior, economic behavior could not improve, then even the husband who voluntarily returned home can go back “to the left”.
Even quite decent people will turn “left”
if “straight” or “to the right” is a clear dead end.
A successful man will rarely tolerate for long a fat or poorly dressed wife, who feeds tastelessly, cleans the apartment poorly, plus it is clearly clear that she doesn’t need sex herself, she gives it to her husband like throwing a bone to a dog.
A well-dressed submissive mistress is usually more attractive,
than a poorly dressed wife with a bad figure and the same character.
The trouble here lies in the fact that 70% of women are not at all critical of themselves. They are confident in their attractiveness, the taste of their cutlets and incredible sexuality, which the husband simply stubbornly cannot reveal. Here you need either an objective assessment by a psychologist, or your own criticality. And the most important thing is to focus on the opinions or comments of your own husband.
Thirdly, the united spouses were unable to change the family routine in such a way as to communicate more and spend more interesting leisure time together.
Here are some typical mistakes made by wives. For example, if a family lives with the parents of one of the spouses and this embarrasses them, then you need to move away from them, no matter how well they treat the young family! Or, if the wife has persuaded her own mother to be at her place all the time, the husband will still run away from such a house, no matter how deliciously he is fed. Because he won’t feel like the master here, and there are no conditions for spontaneous sex.
Or let's say, the daily routine itself. If the wife does not learn to put the children to bed no later than 21-22 hours, there is no doubt: she will not have sex. Because at 23-24 the husband is already sleeping on his own, and the spouses, tired of waiting, will no longer have time for this. But another pattern will work:
If the wife is tired or does not have time for sex with her husband,
that other woman will definitely come to her aid,
that he will take over her sexual responsibilities.
By the way, this pattern will also work when the mistress herself becomes a wife and also does not learn the correct family routine. In this case, someone will definitely take over her sexual baton...
Or, say, if the husband actively invited his wife to have fun with friends, and invites her to go outside the house and after his return, and she remains a housewife, the husband will again begin to go out without her. And a single man in the prime of his life is always an object of increased attention.
Fourthly, the wife herself, her relatives and friends, as well as (sometimes) children, make serious behavioral mistakes that push the husband away from his wife and family.
The point is that the wife was never able to forgive her returning husband and regularly “blows his mind” with reproaches and scandals. Or, on the contrary, she herself begins to “take revenge” on him, demonstratively visiting cafes and clubs with her friends, coming home late, corresponding with someone, etc. As a psychologist, I tell such women: “The fact that the cheating husband did very badly is a fact! But, either you forgive him and rebuild your relationship in a positive direction, or then don’t restore your relationship with him at all, since this is just masochism and complete nonsense. Moreover, children will be psychologically traumatized from the eternal squabbles of irreconcilable parents.”
Exactly the same unpleasant consequences when the wife does not give her relatives and children correct settings and they themselves begin to show their offensive “fi” to the prodigal husband in every possible way, emphasizing his worthlessness and pushing him in the direction of “go back where you came from.”
When someone is regularly sent
It’s not surprising that one day he goes there.
Therefore, if a husband is really needed, there must be a real world; if not, then there is no point in letting him back into the house and then continue to conflict. It's not even psychology - it's just logic.
Fifthly, the mistress demonstrates psychologically the right line behavior that helps maintain or even increase the attractiveness of a given woman for a man who is entangled in her sticky charms.
I will not reveal what is meant by the concept of “demonstrates a psychologically correct line of behavior”, so as not to provide millions of mistresses with valuable information. But smart wives should also understand: among modern mistresses there are often educated and smart girls and women who read psychological literature, visit psychologists and are capable of long and competent play. Just by grabbing the hair of such applicants, you will only give them a gift. I advise you not to do this.
Having created a relationship, girls immediately begin to wait for marriage proposals and in general, you understand:
If a smart wife does not want her husband to return to her
left the family again, then the wife and family must become different.
More comfortable for my husband, better and more positive.
If a cheating husband is not worth his wife’s efforts to modernize, kick him in the face! If he is worth this effort, strain with a smile and remember: this will definitely benefit not only your husband and family as a whole, but above all, yourself. Because:
Nothing improves a woman's self-esteem like
like her victory over other women.
And victory over others always begins with victory over yourself!
Sincerely, Doctor of Sciences, Professor Andrey Zberovsky
Contacts: Email: [email protected]
The triangle of relationships will not lose its relevance: husband, wife, mistress. Favorite plot of romantic works, films and various kinds benefits. Ladies on opposite sides of the barricades regularly address this issue.
What is more important to HIM: feelings or habit?
It is difficult to overestimate the determination of women in the fight for a man. Mistresses try to take you away, wives want to keep you. Luck is more often on the side of the latter - men return. Men rarely listen to feelings. For the sake of their mistresses, they are in no hurry to put their usual life on the line, which has been “tired of for a long time.” What is the reason for strong attachment to home?
From childhood, mothers instill in girls an unchanging truth: falling in love with a married man will not lead to grief, and you will not be taken away from the family. This kind of connection causes public condemnation. But you can’t argue with the well-known axiom “you can’t order your heart.” Until the last moment, the girls do not lose hope that the married man will leave the family.
Below we would like to give 3 true stories about husbands leaving their wives and their subsequent return.
Disappointment in everyday life
Tatyana told her friend that she had fallen head over heels in love with a wonderful man. But a problem emerged: he is married and has a 17-year-old daughter. According to her, “the problem is solvable,” and she is sure that she will be able to take away the married man. Tatyana did not pay attention to her friend’s skeptical attitude, repeating the mistake of thousands of women.
Friends of Dmitry (lover's name) claimed: Tanya's rival did not have the best character, happiness in the family was gone. And the daughter is an adult. Tatyana believed that after 20 years of marriage, love was over. And the wife is much older.
Tatyana was lucky: Dmitry left the family, but the joy did not last long.
6 months after the wedding, I began to worry and suspect the presence of a mistress. Dmitry came home late, the relationship did not change better side. I got used to the idea that a man who has cheated once will continue to cheat.
But she turned out to be a rival ex-wife. Dmitry explained that his wife and daughter need help with household chores, they are not strangers. Tatyana calmed down - the reason was “excusable”. Over time, the relationship changed for the worse.
And one day Dmitry admitted that he couldn’t stand it without his home and family. Tatyana got angry and screamingly offered to return to her ex, repeating in her heart “she’s not going anywhere.” What happened surprised and upset: the lover packed up and left.
Subsequently, he justified himself - Tatyana is better... but his wife, like a sister and mother, cannot be erased from life. The main thing is that I got used to home-cooked food and evening tea with lemon.
Mistresses are sure that the main task is to take a man away from his old family and create a new one. But it's not that simple. Practice shows: it is harder to keep someone else’s husband close. According to statistics, 70 men out of 100 who leave their families return. Everyday changes are scary. At first they are held by passion. Passion diminishes, and an irrepressible longing for the former home awakens.
No matter how much effort the mistress puts in, she will remain second and will not create similar living conditions: a different person, with different foundations and habits. Let new wife better than your ex, but you won’t be able to provide similar comfort. Household habits - main reason, why men return to the family.
Pregnancy manipulation
Alexey met a young girl at the age of 28 beautiful girl 19 years old named Svetlana. He was in a civil marriage with a woman of the same age. But, according to him, there was no extraterrestrial love. And it was not possible to have a child.
A week after they met, Svetlana and Alexei began a wild romance. The salary was small, but he gave his new lover expensive gifts and gorgeous flowers. In the end, he promised to soon confess to his common-law wife.
After a year, recognition did not take place. Alexey found a bunch of excuses. This forced Svetlana to take extreme measures. Stopped taking it birth control pills. And, naturally, after some time she informed her beloved about the pregnancy.
Not for a second did I lose confidence in Alexei’s joyful reaction - he dreamed of a child. But it turned out the other way around. He promised that he would help, but he would not leave his common-law wife and would not make her unhappy.
Only 5% of men are able to leave the family. The stronger sex shares the concepts of “love” and “marriage”. Women do not share. Loving woman becomes everything - wife, lover, and best friend. For men, “Love” means intimacy and entertainment, not life together. Marriage is everyday life, familiar and ordinary. They do not consider it necessary to get a divorce for the sake of new love and break the existing way of life.
A man's habit is much stronger than love. They always tell their mistresses that they will “leave forever,” but more often than not they lie. But Svetlana made a mistake. Practice shows: men do not leave their families for children on the side, but are capable of fulfilling fatherly responsibilities in an exemplary manner.
Possessive instinct
Victor married early, at the age of 20, and not out of great love. The beloved married someone else, and the “comforting” girl unexpectedly became pregnant. The young people got married and twins were born. At a meeting of classmates I met my previous love, Irina. By that time, twice divorced.
Of course, the old feelings flared up. We started dating. His wife Yulia guessed, but at first she preferred not to pay attention. As a result, Irina insisted on divorce and moving. Victor did just that. Surprisingly, the current wife did not resist.
I went to my previous house to talk to my beloved children and help. One day I came across a stranger who sympathized with his ex-wife. And feelings came into play and he scolded his ex-wife. But I heard the expected answer. Yulia reminded me that he left, abandoned her.
To the surprise of both parties, Victor told Irina that he agreed to remain exclusively a lover and was returning to the family.
No matter how prosaic it may be, men have a sense of ownership in their blood. They have every right to have mistresses, but former halves should not even think about new relationships. It often happens that husbands return to their former spouses after learning about the existence of a stranger.
The stronger sex different requirements to his wife and mistress, the first must remain faithful, and the mistress must remain beautiful.
Some advice for wives:
- According to experts, a man will leave for another only if there is a long-standing discord in the family, and if a new hobby is just an excuse. He is unlikely to leave you until the situation is completely neglected.
- It is useful to force the husband to spend a lot of time on his family, then he will not have the energy to go to his mistress. He will stay with you, it’s more familiar.
- And you shouldn’t make a man hysterical. It is better to provide comfort, and he will change his mind.
- Men's attraction to property can play into your hands - cause jealousy.
Tips for lovers:
- If a year has already passed and he still hasn’t broken up with his wife, then he’s unlikely to make the decision at all.
- Don't rely on promises, pay attention to actions.
- Tell him that you no longer want to remain as a mistress. He will fulfill the condition, considering you a dear person. If not, decide for yourself.
- You are hardly the only exception. Take it as a temporary option.
